I also had a traumatic first delivery with DD7. I was induced (syntocin and AROM). Like you I went into hard labour as soon as they started the drip. I had an epidural about 40 minutes later, but unfortunately the first attempt to insert the cannula failed (aaaargh... more pain ). The second attempt was successful and provided great relief from the pain but meant I was confined to bed. I dilated pretty quickly and I was 10cms about 4 hours later and ready to push. And push. And push.... My daughter was wedged on my pelvis (aah... that's what all the pain was for the last month!) and became distressed with her heart rate dropping to 40 with every contraction. My obstetrician arrived, decided we didn't have time for a ceasar and performed an episiotomy, failed ventouse and ultimately a forceps delivery. I had a massive PPH and needed a transfusion. Spent the first hour and a half of my daughter's life unconscious. The episiotomy didn't heal properly and I had an area of granulation tissue which required treatment with silver nitrate 3 weeks later (OMG, wish I'd had an episiotomy for that ). But ultimately I had a beautiful, healthy 5lb 10oz daughter.
Two years later it was time to deliver DS. I was TERRIFIED!!! Again, I was induced. I chose to have an epidural prior to the induction (I'm not good with pain ). All went smoothly and although I was confined to bed I could actually feel and move my legs. I progressed very quickly again and was fully dilated about 3 hours later. When they told me to push I was so afraid after my previous delivery that I screwed up my face and... pretended to push But you can't fool a midwife, so I started to push and only a couple of pushes later the midwives were on the phone to my ob. telling him to HURRY! He walked in, told me not to push, threw on some gloves and caught my 7lb 14oz DS. I had a small tear which he put a couple of sutures in and I recovered well.
Sooo... my first delivery was a nightmare. My little baby was stuck, everything seemed to go wrong and the recovery was difficult. Second time around, my big boy, 2lb heavier, practically slid out and the recovery was easy. A difficult first delivery does NOT have to mean a difficult second or subsequent. I completely understand your fears, but I hope I have offered you some reassurance that you can (you WILL ) have a more positive experience this time around!
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