Sibling present at birth

[Liz]

Yeah, my mum will be outside the labour suite, so if DS gets upset or anything, he can go out with Nana. I just don't want her in the labour suite with me. Sounds terrible I know LOL, but I'd rather keep it just DH & I and possibly a doula. If I get a doula or trainee, then I'd have continuous support, & DH & mum can take turns caring for DS inside or out of the labour suite.

Any experiences with dragging a nearly 2 yr old out of bed tho if it happens in the middle of the night? Last thing I'd want is a cranky toddler on our hands! hehe.

Just curious - if it becomes a c/s, does the doula follow you in? or just your DH? Just wondering

[Rouge]

I personally would have someone present with him rather than outside, purely because as a mother if no one is designated for him, you will be concerned for him. And kids will be kids he's not going to know that mummy can't do x,y,z because you are in labour. I had Paris present and MIL present and when I started to get too vocal they went for a walk as I didn't want her to be too distressed, she came back seconds after he was born. I would have had her there when he crowned but I was too caught up in the moment and I don't know if she would have liked it or not (she's not a big fan of blood LOL). Your DH is going to need to be there for you, I had Marc there for me and Kelly as my doula, and I needed both of them, I can't imagine what would have happened if Paris had been there without someone special for her.

Goodluck. Ours was beautiful, the room was filled with love, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

*hugs*
Cailin

[Inanna]

Liz, usually you can only have one support person in theatre. So, no to the Doula - though many hospitals will allow her to come into recovery. Ask your hospy what their policy is.
Good luck with your decision...

[Liz]

Cailin - Dh would just take him out to my mum & come back in. DS is really good with mum coz he sees her nearly every day, so he'd be fine to just take out to nana, and then DH come back to me. So if he's being a pain, or is upset he can just be taken out to stay with nana for a bit.

[BellyBelly]

Liz all we did with Ris was transfer her into the car and let her sleep, putting her in the pram at the hospital. She was awake as the birth was in the morning, but if she was asleep in the pram I probably wouldn't have woken her at 2.5 years old. Maybe now, but not at that age. I would still bring her so she is there but not wake her deliberately.

[Willow]

Deb, as mentioned above I am also considering having DD there when Bubble is born. I actually discussed it with a girlfriend last week and she really surprised me by being totally supportive and offered to come with us to the hospital to be DDs carer! DD adores her so it would be perfect really. DD was going to go to MIL but for many reasons, I don't want MIL present for the birth so this was the trickiest part. Only problem is my girlfriend might be away on holidays at the time of the birth, particularly if I go over my EDD again, which I'm expecting to. So we really will have to play it by ear but having her support makes things a lot easier!

Any experiences with dragging a nearly 2 yr old out of bed tho if it happens in the middle of the night? Last thing I'd want is a cranky toddler on our hands! hehe.

- this is also one of my biggest concerns.

Deb, were any of your babies born in the middle of the night?

Kelly, there is NO way that our DD would sleep in her pram so I'm not sure what we would do.

Liz - sorry to hijack your thread!! Have you discussed this with JP? I might bring it up with him on Monday.

[Liz]

No I haven't yet Willow. I don't see him again until 20th Aug. Will be interested to know what he says tho! I don't see him having a problem with it, unless of course there are hospital policies in place. But geez - surely they can't stop you bringing your kid in.. what if you don't have family around right at the time you go into labour? hehe.

He was surprisingly all for my breastfeeding through this pg, so I have high expectations of him agreeing to something like this! hehehe.

[Willow]

Yeah, I hope so too!! Let's hope he doesn't disappoint us. He always says to me "you're not the passenger here. you make the decisions, I just give you the pros and cons" hehe.

I think you're right though, I can't see them being able to stop you from having your children with you, particularly if there are people there to care for them? I remember when I had DD they told us we could have as many people in there as we wanted, to a reasonable extent, and they didn't mention anything about no children. This is the public hospital though, you're delivering at the private hospital aren't you?

[Inanna]

Willow my DS was born at 1.10am so, smack bang in the middle of the night! However, our daughter was over 5 years old then so double the age of yours and Liz's little ones.
She always hits the ground running when awake and that's what she did. Our next child was born at 6.24pm and the next at 10.26pm. I have gorgeous photos of my children asleep with me on the bed about an hour after our last daughters birth. They were exhausted. The hospital did up mattresses on the floor and a cot for our 15month old and DH transferred them into bed.

So, I have never had the experience of a middle of the night transfer as such! However, if your children have a trusted carer - take a portacot or an inflatable mattress that their carer can make up for them to nap on. This may be helpful if they won't sleep in the pram. I also did up "show bags" for my kids for each birth. Just one of those colourful gift bags you can buy from dollars and cents stores. I put in it a new book, snacks they don't usually get! Juice, cheap dollars and cents toys and novelties. They were given to them when they started to gt a bit figety. It works a treat...

Something else I always do is that my kids choose a teddy for their new sibling. When the birth is over, the next day the bear is presented. The next day the kids all get a gift from their new sibling and from us (parents) to thank them for helping. It may be something you may like to think about.

The other thing that is helpful is - if you are planning on having music for your birth choose what you will have and play it in the house often. Explain to the kids that this is the music that their new brother/sister will be born to. If you are having candles (often not allowed in hospy) or other things at the birth let the kids help you choose. Oils to burn etc. Let them feel like they are choosing too. This really helps make it a family birth... My kids all help DH dress the new baby etc etc.

Well you gorgeous women have served to get ME excited! Whatever you decide and however you decide to bring these new babies into this world I hope it's all you both want. :hugs:

[Willow]

She always hits the ground running when awake

I must admit, my DD does too! I love the showbag idea, she'd love that. I guess I will take your advice re preparing her and getting her ready and I will make my decision when the time comes depending on circumstances.

My other concern is I had a really long labour with DD so not expecting this one to be much different. We might have to send her home for a nap if it all becomes too much for her and things are taking a while.

I talked to my mum and DH about it today, they are my support people. Mum was a bit hesitant and said "ooooh, I don't know - what if she gets scared?" but after discussing it and telling her my reasons why I wanted DD there she understood and will always support me 100%. DH is also supporting me 100% and said it was up to me to decide the way I wanted things to be.

We have already brought DD a gift from the baby and will give it to her at the hospital (although once again my MIL has kinda ruined this by buying her an almost identical gift last week She wasn't to know but sooooo disappointed).

[Inanna]

I think that's a great idea Willow. Prepare your daughter - show her lots of pictures of birth, dvd's, get hold of Hello Baby if you can (abc shop I think???) and see how it all pans out. I am so glad you have such loving support for your choices. You are going to have a beautiful birth Willow!

[Liz]

Willow - I asked JP about having DS in the labour suite.. he said it's fine, but he insists on an assigned carer just for him. He's been burnt before, where the kids carrying on and screaming, but the "carer" insisted on staying for the birth for their own benefit.. not taking into consideration how it was affecting the mother, they weren't there supporting the mum. So I need to think about who I would have as a dedicated carer just for DS, and who wouldnt' mind missing out on the actual birth if it turns out that way.

As for preparing DS - I got my hands on a couple of books, but I think they're a bit too old for him hehe. Oh well.. can't hurt to read them to him anyway

[renee84]

Hey we had our daughter (who is just about to turn 3) in the delivery room, we planned on having my mum come watch her but she was still 2 hours away! Basically our daughter was on the bed next to me with my arm round her the whole time (including pushing lol she handled it really well, didn't get upset seeing me in pai n or anything. Basically she got upset the last 5 secs of pushing when I was screaming becuz I was tearing but as soon as our son was born her face was in amazement, she loved it! She stills tells everyone that "mummy pushed and pooed and a bubby popped out" while making groaning sounds as shes is doing it LOL yeah I just prepared our daughter by pretending I was giving birth to her teddy lol she seemed to understand All the best.