Is this something new, or was this midwife sipmly blowing out of her a$$ like I felt about most of the stuff she was saying.
Ok some more info. Today I took my SIL for her 31 week birth centre appt. She was to go over her birth plan which we sat down for around 2 hours yesterday and went over.
Most of the things on there SIL got shot down for. She questioned why she wanted a natural third stage of labour and when Simone said that she felt it wasn't absolutely necessary she went on to say about how a first babies labour is much longer, she will bemore likely to bleed more afterwards. AND World Health Organisation actually recommends that women have this injection. Please tell me this is the load of cr@p I thought it was.
I did challenge this mdwife several times and I have no doubt that she did not like me at all. I'm sick of people being ill informed and only told 1 side, the negative side of what "could" happen.
What happened to empowering mums, Especially young, first time mums. I was shaking with temper in there and had to fight back my many arguements.
She also told SIL that if bub wasn't born by 41.3 weeks that she could not birth in the birthing centre and would have to go to the normal labour ward. She changed her dates forward by 9 days. Meaning that of course, waht chance has she got of this bub coming early enough for them not to induce her. When I said baby will come when it is ready. She was quick to say, Or when we decide it's ready !! I said that she could refuse the induction and agree to regular scans and check ups, She then told SIL that she would have to sign a form saying that she is aware of the "dangers" and she would not have a leg to stand on if someting went wrong. WTF !!!
Kelly, I so wish you were there with us too. I could imagine you would voice up abit more.
At the end of the day I can only say so much. Afterall it's not my body or baby. One thing is for certain. If I ever have another baby, there is no way in hell I'm going through the hospital system again!!!
I know that I was given them, pretty much almost routinely after my first 2 births. I knew no different then. Noah was a c section and I sure didn't have it after Tehya
I think it's really an unnecessary intervention to have it for the first, but that MW sounds like she would have said anything to disagree with anything you said, lol
Thank you girls. Thats exactly what I thought. It got to the point where she was just ignoring me. LOL. I sure wasn't there to pick a fight. But if she wanted one...
My SIL is a very quiet girl, she doesn't like to rock the boat but at the same time has her own ideas in her head. When it comes to the time where she gets questioned about them she baulks, this is when a midwife like that will know that she can get it over her.
I only hope she can find the strength within herself to stand up for all that she wants when it comes time to birth this baby. I know my brother will back down to anything they say.
Midwife also got me offside when she asked if it was the first grandchild on either side. It's the 10th on our side and first on SIL's side. She then went on to say that don't worry, your partners side won't even call !! And tell anyone not to bother hanging around outside. Well, for starters of course we're interested, but we are also smart enough to know that birthing babys takes time and when it happens we will get told. But how rude of her to think we wouldn't even take interest...
And don't even get me started on her breastfeeding info. Apparently the ONLY way to feed a ne born is football hold. How about however you feel bloody comfortable doing it. And if your family are bottle feeders expect crap from them. Not sure if she was directing this to me, but I proptly said actually no, we're breastfeeders. I'm still feeding my nearly 2 year old. Again ignored.
Can you tell how p'd I am about this all. Deep breathes in and out Trish
PS, thanks Nat. I think she's pretty darn cute too. One of the rare occassions with clothes on
Trish... I had an awful time with these points. One being just the fact that choices were taken away and that one sided alternatives were given. As you probably remember all the pressure I was under when trying for the VBAC. I was told that I was putting my babies life at risk by going over 41+4. I had to firmly stand ground & when I got outside with shaking knees I would phone Kelly for help. DH & I cried alot in that last week with thoughts of all the "what if they're right?".
Give her books to read.... Print her out a few birth stories & give her a big hug from me.
I tell you what though, I wish my MW with Rayanne had her policy re no-one hannging around.
When I was giving birth to Rayanne, DH nearly fainted (goose) and I was left with my 2 SIL, who I can't stand.
Then BIL wife who I really can't stand pops her head in and I, being the classy lady that I am, screamed out " What the F#@K is she doing here - Get her OUUUTTTT!!!!!
I needed bouncers and guard dogs, lol. Your SIL MW would have done, lol
Thanks Christy. Yup I sure do remember all the pressure that was put onto you. Especially in those last few weeks.
I have told her to read some birth stories on here, also to start familiarising herself with her own body. Just knowing the different stages of labour, how they work and how your body responds to it all.
Hopefully she will feel comfortable enough to stay at home for a fair ammount of time and no damn induction is needed.
Keep your fingers crossed for her girls
Hey, how could she go wrong with me on her side
Nat, I'm hearing you on all the vistors hanging around. Thankfully I never had that woith any of my births. My family knows better. But I do remember when ex SIL was having her first. She is Maltese, anyway, her whole damn family was hanging around the hospital. Nothing like the added pressure hey.
Last edited by Trish; January 16th, 2007 at 11:39 AM.
Oh Trish! I really feel for you and your SIL.
Well done for standing your ground too!! I have had this type of "unbiased" alternatives and options since the ante-natal classes. It drives me mad to think that a lot of people don't know any better than to just accept what the doc or midwife says or they do know better (like me) and then just get bullied into things.
Trish good on you for sticking up for her. I had my first antenatal class with DH last Tues night (next one tonight) and I can honestly say that after hanging around BB and reading everything i can, I knew alot more about certain things than the mw! Also I have noticed dealing with different mw's each time I go in for a check up, they all know different things or have differing opinions on certain subjects and may not know anything on other subjects (no one has been able to tell me much about manually turning a breech baby for example). Fortuantely I havent come across any with attitude like this one though and the hospitail I am going with is very big on letting things run its natural course and letting the woman choose how she would like to things to go etc..
I would be livid dealing with someone like this mw you & your SIL went to, I guess there are types in every profession that are always 'right' about everything hey.
Just want to thank you Trish for being there for me Its hard being a first time mum and not knowing to much about childbirth. I will keep at the information available, its starting to get a bit clearer now. Hopefully i will stick to my guns and have the confidence in myself to pursue with the whole of my birthing plan.
(This including not having, the Syntocin injection to expel the placenta 'quicker' and keeping the umbilical cord attached until it stops pulsating.)
Simone, no worries hun. Someone's got to look out for you hun.
I'm not there to make friends with the midwife. Just there to make sure you can achieve what you want to achieve out of your birth and make it a positive experience not a scarey one.
Caro, I am very much considering it. I would love to get into Middy but I know that I would have trouble conforming, so becoming a Doula is the next best thing for me
Wow, Simone and Trish, that midwife sounded awful! I've had some bad ones but none who tried to push intervention... although I've pushed DH a little too far into the anti-intervention court so I doubt anyone would try it with us. As far as I see it, women have been giving birth perfectly well for hundreds of years without all this chemical and monitoring nonsense so why can't I?
Well said Trish about not being there to make friends with the midwife... I think I am going to have to remember that one! This is why I'm going to the birth centre, not the hospital - I like the midwives in the hospital as people, but very few of them as midwives. Far too pro-intervention at hospitals usually.
Since when is Syntocin recommended by
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