small people at births

[Phteven]

I have just been wondering about the feasability of having Yasin at his siblings birth. Yasin will be about 17 months old then. The idea just occured to me this morning and a big part of me thinks that its a crazy idea and I should shelve it straight away but another part of me thinks that it would be fantastic to have him as part of the experience. I was thinking of asking one of my friends to be his carer so that if things start getting a bit full on for him or I don't want him there she can take him away and also to help keep him busy so he doesn't get bored and take care of his food and naps.
Has anyone had a young sibling present at a birth? What is usually hospital policy?

[Alan]

Hi dachlostar

yes it is possable to have young people attend the birth but you would have to check with the hospital if they allow it. Most hospital would require someone to be with the child at all times. You would also need to consider if your child would get upset when he sees his mother in pain. Some children have a better understanding about the birth process than others, it may be a good idea to start to prepare your child for the experience as early a you can.

[Rouge]

I know Kelly had Marisa at Elijah's birth, and we plan to have Paris there along with MIL on and off. If we go in late at night I'm not going to try and wake her because that would just be impossible! And not very enjoyable for her. But in the daylight hours she'll be at the hospital and depending on how much I can focus inwards without distraction will depend on at what stages she'll be in the room. We've prepared for this from pretty much the moment I got pregnant. We've talked about what can happy in Seth's birth, and that mummy might get uncomfortable etc etc. We have also told her that becuase Nana will be with her she can leave the room at any time if she doesn't feel like staying ie. if mummy is in pain and she doesn't like it. She keeps telling me I will be brave and won't scream like other women LOL! I would most definitely like her to be there for the pushing or to be there within miliseconds of the birth as I want Myself, Marc & Paris to be the first 3 people to touch him (if all goes well). Paris is very educated on birth and what to expect, we've allowed her to watch some foxtel births (both c/s & natural) so she can see what happens, but we did make sure we watched the G ones so they blur the gore She also has a book about a mother who has a homebirth. She knows what a placenta is, that sometimes babies look blue and limp when they are born, sometimes they are covered in blood but it doesn't mean they are bleeding or sore, sometimes they cry sometimes they don't etc etc etc. I would love a village birth (by that I mean surrounded by family) but I'm not sure how I will cope with pain etc so for most of it will just be MIL & Paris, although my SIL & partner and neices and nephews will be at the hospital so if I want I can have them in the room at anytime. Our hospital has a great hospital policy, but like Alan said they often require a guardian be appointed for the child so that if there is an emergency or it becomes distressing for the child someone is able to look after them without you sacrificing your support person iykwim?

Goodluck!

*mwa*
Cailin

[BellyBelly]

Marisa was two and a half so it was a big difference in age, but I am all for children being part of the experience in some way, if you think your child can handle it. The more we are part of birth / breastfeeding / parenting especially at a younger age, the more normalised it all seems. I would agree, have a support person dedicated to Yasin, I had my sister take care of Marisa and she was great, distracting her, keeping her busy, explaining things to her. There is a great book called 'Hello Baby' which is a children's picture book, about a homebirth! It's just beautiful but great for preparing them for birth. Read as much about it as you can to him and talk about things with him too.

[Rouge]

Hello Baby is the book we have and its fantastic

Thinking about this sort of thing makes me get all excited

*hugs*
Cailin

[BellyBelly]

Awww Shannon!!! The younger ones do seem to take it all in their stride, no matter what you are talking about with birth and things like that, at Marisa's age especially, it's all matter-of-fact and just how it is for her. I always tell her that it's a good pain, some people can choose to have medicine to help with the pain, but some mummies don't like to have medicine so their baby wont have the medicine too. I explain the positives of the pain and what it means, I guess you probably do all this too but I am sure it will pass as she gets older. I always swore I would never have children when I was younger because my brothers and sister annoyed me so much, I was defiant and totally unmaternal until I started seriously dating. Then I saw how amazing it could be, and I educated myself about the downsides to drugs, caesars etc and have made a choice on what's best for me - so we all change I think. I don't think she really understands anything in depth, but is just taking what she sees on the surface.

[Phteven]

Fletch, I thought of that but Yasin isn't very stoical - if he's getting upset we'll know about it and he'll just be taken away. The freind I'm thinking of asking to look after him during the labour is really level headed and would get him out of the room without panicing him IYKWIM. Yasin is really fond of her and if I didn't trust her to be on the ball I wouldn't ask her. I think that we would probably arrange some sort of code before hand so that DH or I could ask her to take Yasin away without putting it in those exact words.