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Thread: So worried about how to birth

  1. #1

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    Default So worried about how to birth

    I have been driving myself barney for months now about wether to have another c-section (had one with last pregnancy and right ovary removal at sametime) or try a vbac . I am ac tually getting to the point of being stressed about it now. I am only 2 days away to being in my third trimester so I need to settle on what I want to do. I know this might sound silly to some but its really bothering me.

    I would rather a vabs only becuase of the healing time afterwards and that i can get up and move around straight away. BUT I am so scared that somehting will happen like I will go way over due or that my uterise will rupture or worse still something will happen to the baby.

    I guess deep down my heart is saying natural cause once its over with its def over with.




    But then fear starts to set in and I think what if my uerus does rupture!

    I am just so worried about it all.


    And am I able to have a relaxing birth as in the way of relaxation music and can you have the room lights down low I have always wanted that but its always been bright lights in my face the whoel time during labour. I never ask the midwives cause I am worried that they will just say no we dont allow all that.


    I did say this might sound silly to some but it is how I am feeling right now.


    Any advice!

  2. #2

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    I was feeling the same way you did, I has an emerg c/s with Madison after an 11 hour labout and was 2 cm, I thought that the labour with Charlotte was going to be like this again, and i really though about another c/s, i didn't want to go through the same feelings again, but i had a wonderful Ob who told me that i could do VBAC, he really didn't want to listen about another c/s.
    I was 40+5 when i was induced and after an 6hr50min labour, I had Charlotte, it was so much better, b/f staight away and cuddles, i will be trying for a natural birth next time too.
    Good Luck.

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    kmh oh thank you so much for that story its quite inspirational actually and gives me hope too. I guess I will try for a vbac but am just scared stiff of the pain .

    My first natural labour was 18 hours
    second was 9 hours
    third chjild 17 hours and quite bad
    fourth child was a only about four hours and very painful though but giuess cause it was fast.
    fifth was the c-section

    and so I might try for a vbac this time, I would truly rather that after having both type births. I just want to know if we are allowed to have a birth paln like I mentioned above. I am having bubs in Gosford hospital so not sure what there take is on a mother having her own birth plan.

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    Hi Soul,
    Can you talk to the midwife or doctor at the hospital to see how they handle/what the allow for a vbac? DS is 10 months old and I ended up with an emergency c/s after 26 hours of labour. I fully dilated but he was posterior to start with (explains the excruciating back labour) and when he turned he stopped half way so the doctor was concerned because his forehead was swelling from the pressure of the pelvis on his head during contractions. He also never dropped and/or fully engaged.
    I spoke to the doctor at the time about my changes of a vbac when I'm ready to have #2 and he said my chances are good as I fully dilated. I don't think I will be able to choose the birthing centre the second time around but I will have to check on that when the time comes. I was allowed to play my relaxing music in the labour ward when they transferred me when I had DS so that was comforting as I was really in-tune (no pun intended) with my music.
    I think they main thing is that they monitor you MUCH earlier. My friend tried for a vbac with her 2nd child back in May and the hospital had her come in much ealier in the labour then with her first so they could keep an eye on the strength of the contractions. But the midwife I spoke to about it said the bikini incision they do now is MUCH safer and those muscles are less stressed by contractions so it lowers the chance of uterine rupture.
    I don't know if any of this rambling helps you at all - but I thought I would share my experiences. I think you should talk to the midwife or doctor and share your thoughts and concerns with them. Perhaps you will be able to formulate a birthing plan that you can be happy about. I hope this helps...

  5. #5

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    Hi Soul

    This is what I do in the labour ward.

    First I will read the birth plan if there is one

    If there is no birth plan I will have a chat about labour and birth options such as birth positions, different forms of pain relief, including drugs, their benefits and all the possible side effects.

    1 small goose neck table lamp in the corner of the room.

    Music of the womanís choice playing (if she wants)

    Oil burner usually with lavender oil in it

    Only the woman, her support persons and me in the room. No Obs unless I need them.

    I will point out all of the equipment in the room and show everyone how it works and what it is used for. (some of this stuff can make quite a noise)

    I will ask mum/dad if she/he wants to help guide the baby out as it is being born.

    No constant EFM. I use a Doppler every 30 Ė 60 mins

    Other checks like blood pressure and pulse I will do only every 3 Ė 4 hours unless there is a problem

    Early in labour I try to be close without being too intrusive. As labour progresses I will move closer so that she knows that I am there to give support and help with the birth.

    When the baby is born it goes to mum for a cuddle. I drape a warm blanket over mum and the baby and get dad to help me dry it. I will then help with breastfeeding if mum has decided this is how she is going to feed. Them I will usually leave mum, dad and the new baby alone for a while to get to know each other. (usually I am still in the room but I find a little corner to hide in.

    All this can change depending on mumís wishes and if there is a problem.

    Soul talk to your Midwife, most of them are happy to try to give you the birth that you want. As for the fear of your uterine scar rupturing there is something like 0.2% chance of this happening. There are also a few signs that the Midwife will be looking for, and these signs usually show up well before your uterus ruptures.

  6. #6

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    Soul, check out the Birthrites website for more information and facts on caesareans: www.birthrites.org - its a very balanced site.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  7. #7

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    lilprecious75 omg 26 hours of hard labur my lord women you deseved a medla for that, what a women!I sure hope you get to labour the way you want second time around and can I saftley slip in maybe a third!!!!!

    Alan oh lordy can you please deliver my baby ???? pretty pleasse, you alrady relaxed me just reading about how you do your deliveries! What you just said, all of it is
    'Exactly" how I want my labur done. Exactly but I am worried that the Gosford hospital will not allow it like that. I will ask on the 11th jan. You see I havent booked in yet. Yes I know disgusting isnt it. I rang them at 12 weeks pregnant and they said they coudnt get me in till I was 22 weeks pregnant, then on that day my oyungest daughter had a bad asthma attack so I had to ring and tell them I could not make it so she said she coudnt get me in till the 11th jan I was in tears, that will make me 29 weeks pregnant with no antenatal care except for the stupid gps who didnt even let me have my 12 week scan done. Basically I have had no care whats so ever as yet. That is why I dont know how my birth plan will be. My husband is furious about the lack of care. So I wont know if they will allow a vbac or anything till then. I feel so lonley through this pregnancy with no midwife to talk to about things.


    BellyBelly I shall do that right this very minute thank you sweetness!

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    Soul, have you thought about hiring your own private midwife? She will come to your home for all your checks, stay for two hours rather than you waiting in the hospital two hours, for a five minute visit! She will also attend your birth and help you get that birth you want. If you want some contacts let me know - but it's not just a number with private midwives, you have a true relationship with them til the end.

    We all love Alan!!! I have dreams of setting up a freestanding birth centre and I told Alan I want to hire him already
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  9. #9

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    Soul
    I would love to help you with your birth unfortunately I live a few hundred klm north of you. The best I can o for you is to be here to offer you advice and support. I am more than willing to talk with you about your concerns and worries.

    I do not come on line every day due to work commitments but I usually manage to be here once or twice a week. So if you have a question just ask.

    Oh one more thing. Just remember, the only stupid/silly question is the one that you donít ask.

  10. #10
    Rainbows_ Guest

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    I dont think anyone can make that decision but you, i think you need medical advice and see if your medical questions can be answered to put you at ease. the doctor told me there is a 50/50 chance. If you enjoyed your c-section then go with that if not go viginal but do what you want not because someone has purswaded you. As there are medicall issues to be answered here and i understand your concern! Get unbiased advice as most will encourgare a viginal birth because they belive it right but i would do what is best for you as everyone is different. You need a doctors advice not purswasion from other people experiences.

    I have had a c-section and will be going for a c-section always now as i loved it. its totally up to you
    Last edited by Rainbows_; December 25th, 2006 at 08:36 AM.

  11. #11

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    rainbows I think your Dr must be telling you whoppers. The chances of a uterine rupture are much less than 50/50.

    Soul, its not the hospital's desicion to make about allowing a VBAC or not. it's your desicion and they have no legal right to perform any surgery that you don't consent to. Many women consent because they don't want to be 'difficult' but from talking to my midwives I know that the are quite a few of them who are very supportive of patients who empower themselves with knowledge and make thier own choices.

  12. #12

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    BellyBelly oh if I had that sort of money my word I would hire a private midwife but we don't have that kind of money. Would be lovley though.

    Alan thank you so much for that what a beautiful soul you have!

    Rainbows_ thank you for your input too. I truly am making my own decisions, just listening to others thoughts and input too. I have brithed mt first four all natural and would rather that anyday, being sliced open just didnt cut it for me (no pun intended) ! The healing process just isn't worth it for me. I think I need to read more on vbacs, but from what i have read they are pretty much as safe as a c-section.

    dachlostar oh yes I know I might be up for a fight with the obs yet on a vbac and my hubbie and I are ready for it. But apparently they do allow vbac's at gosford hospital. If they try and tell me that a cut makes it much better then they will get a piece of my mind because its my body and it knows whats best. I have been reading heaps on vbac sand they say that if somethng like a uterus rupture was to happen there is plenty of warning and signs to let the midwife know and then its straight in for a c-section, but its rare to happen, I just get scraed thinking it "HAS" happend and could I BE ONE OF THEM!!!

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    soul we are in a similar situation... well exept that this is your sixth(?) bub and this is my first... i haven't had any antenatal care yet either.... because this is all so new to me, i have just gone with the flow with my gp (who is also an OB i think), and he only gave me the referral to book into the hospital very recently.... so i had my booking in appointment at about 27 weeks... they asked me questions, to which answers i hadn't even thought of, because i know nothing, and haven't had any real discussions with anyone yet (besides on this site!)... they booked me in for my antenatal classes which i was adamant about doing, and they start in february (!!!!), i will be 38 weeks during the last class which discusses birth, i guess there's a chance i may have even had the baby by then, or if not, i will definitely be the most furthererst along.... i feel a bit annoyed as all these decisions on the birth and pain relief and generally making myself knowledgable is going to be left to the VERY last minute, but what can i do... i guess next time i will know what to expect and make sure i book in earlier.

    it just feels weird knowing i am going to be literally about to pop while the other girls in the class are probably just in their second tri.... i was hoping there would be other girls a lot further along than me who i could chat to and find out things, i'm going to be the one who delivers first (most likely)... the guinea pig!!

    sounds like i want a similar birth to you, i am adamant about the lights being low, until they need to be on for the final bit i guess.... bright hospital lights give me a migraine.

    anyways, i guess i just have to wait until february until i can start my classes, i will be 33 weeks and clueless. holy cow.

  14. #14

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    Have you both thought about private childbirth education? Independent classes are SO much better. If you can, grab the Pink Kit and you will be better prepared than those that go to hospital classes, because what they teach you in the Pink Kit, no-one else will!!!

    Pink Kit - Learning Birth Skills During Pregnancy
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  15. #15

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    Emma1979 oh sweetheart I very much sympathise with you. When I had my first (our first child he he) I was just 16 and had no one a round except my MIL who was very busy working. I had no idea what was what and what would be the best for labour ect ect. My mothe didn't give a crap and still doesn't (not a nice lady) so all I had was my hubbie. You know what, no matter how much they tell us at those natenatl classes its still nothing comparred to what we experince. Yes they are good for information, but each expeirnece is so individual and so much more than what they tell us. Still worth going, I went only a few times and never again with another the other five kids.

    Birth happens no matter what, you just start to think about how you would like your birth to go, make a birth plan.

    Have a look -

    How to Make a Birth Plan


    The Time To Plan Is Now

    You have a window of opportunity to discover yourself and the changing role of maiden to mother! Pregnancy and birth are unique life events and every instance is different, even within the same womb!

    As you may know, a birth plan is a written (usually) statement about your preferences for your labor and birth. This page is dedicated to information on birth plans, examples and discussion.

    Begin by choosing a Health care provider who will honor your desires!

    This is probably the most important step, second only to where you plan to birth and with whom you wish to share the miracle of life. During this transitional life event, you will progress from one conjoined being to two distinct individuals as Mother and Child!

    Not all providers are of the same background, schools of thought or even methods of childbirth. Choose wisely! If you find a provider that makes discouraging statements about how you envisioned your childbirth experience, it is your RIGHT to get a second or third opinion and choose another provider who will be more receptive to your desires!


    Midwives. These health care professionals are trained to care for women during normal pregnancy, labor and childbirth. A doctor is called in (medical backup) if any medical problems arise during pregnancy or labor. Many midwives are Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) with advanced training. CNMs can care for women throughout their pregnancies. They can give prenatal and postpartum checkups and deliver babies. Midwives can work in hospitals, birthing centers or they can attend home births.


    Questions you could perhaps ask your midwife/s


    What is their attitude about birth plans and non-medical interventions?


    What are their episiotomy, vacuum/forceps assisted rates?


    What is their (coverage or back up physician) policy for weekends, vacations, and prenatal visits? Will they be your sole provider throughout the pregnancy and childbirth?


    Can you meet the back-up physician to discuss your birth plan, case and history?


    If you have to have an intervention or a Cesarean Section who will be allowed to remain in the birthing room?


    If you are having a Homebirth, what is the transport rate?


    Family Practitioners. The doctor who tends to many of your other health needs may also be able to see you through pregnancy and delivery. They are your best source for a referral to an OB/GYN in your area. Many insurance carriers require that you first be seen by your family practitioner or primary care physician before seeing the OB/GYN specialist.


    Obstetrician/Gynecologists (OB/GYN) are doctors who specialize in the reproductive system of women. These physicians can have several pathways to becoming certified as an obstetrician. I have known some who are more like a midwife than a physician.

    Questions to ask your physician (Family Practice or OB/GYN):



    What are their Cesarean Section statistics?


    What is their attitude about birth plans and non-medical interventions?


    What are their episiotomy, vacuum/forceps assisted rates?


    What is their (coverage or back up physician) policy for weekends, vacations, and prenatal visits? Will they be your sole provider throughout the pregnancy and childbirth?


    If you have to have an intervention or a Cesarean Section who will be allowed to remain in the birthing room.

    Where Do You Want To Have Your Baby?

    This is very important! Many physicians have to maintain the standards of the institution they have privileges at in order to remain as an attending at that hospital or birthing center. There are three options for birthing environments: at home, at the hospital, and in a freestanding birthing center. Ask your primary provider about these options. Find out if they can accommodate your needs and which of these options are available to you!


    A birthing room. (Hospital) If you do not want to give birth at home, but would like something less clinical than a regular hospital room, a birthing room within a hospital might fit the bill perfectly. These rooms provide a homey environment to go through labor, delivery and recovery. If anything goes wrong, the hospital facilities are nearby. These are what the standards of twenty years ago dictated, a labor room and a delivery room (which is an Operating Room).

    A freestanding birthing center provides a relaxed natural birth setting. But since they are not located within a hospital, find out what arrangements they have if complications arise.
    Next take a few moments to think about your personal constitution.

    Are you a determined person? Do you have a high tolerance to pain? Do you have ghosts in your closet relating to physical, emotional or sexual abuse? Are you a passive, assertive, or aggressive personality? What is your past experience or what have you heard about childbirth? Do you know in your heart of hearts that childbirth is a natural process? All these factors influence who you are and what type of birth you will have!

    It is important to consider these factors when creating your birth plan or it will not be complete and effective! . If it was not a natural event, our species would have become extinct long ago. It was the advent of modern medicine that placed the stigma of childbirth as an event to be managed and the laboring mother treated as an emergent case for medical practice. Over ninety percent of all birthing mothers given the opportunity to birth in favorable conditions and as they desire, would do so without an invasive medical procedure being utilized upon them or their baby!

    Who Do You Want To Help?

    Do you have a partner, significant other or husband who you want in the room, regardless of the scenario that your child's birth presents? Do you have children, sisters, parents or friends who you want to have access to during this birth? Do you plan to have a professional childbirth assistant- a Doula?

    What is a Doula?

    A doula provides continuous care to a woman during her labor and birth in the form of informational, emotional and physical comfort and support. The gathering and dissemination of information for the purpose of informed choice, the imparting of emotional support and reassurance, and suggesting and providing methods and measures to enhance physical comfort are all part of a doula's role during labor and birth.

    Studies have shown that women who are attended by a doula during their labor and birth may demonstrate a reduction in the following areas in comparison to women who are not attended by a doula:


    What Type Of Birth do You Envision?

    Do you plan on a natural childbirth augmented with natural methods? Or, are you receptive to medical management of the labor process? The latter method has a much greater risk of ending up as a Cesarean Section (c-section)! The reason being that one medical intervention usually results in other procedures or methods being utilized, each more invasive than the previous method. With each method, the risk for a c-section increases usually as a result of physical restriction which limits the use of gravity that helps the mother's birth canal expand and birth the baby! Compare the Medical Model of childbirth with the Midwifery Model of Care.


    Do you plan to breastfeed immediately after the birth of the baby (Second Stage of childbirth)?

    What if you are unable to have a vaginal birth and you have to have a c-section?

    Who will be in the room to support you, since most of the time the patient is awake during the procedure and can even request a mirror to see her new baby's birth?

    What to do with this knowledge base

    You may hand write your plan in detail Remember a plan is just that, a written statement of your desires. However, Mother Nature does not always honor those plans. You may have to modify the plan in the case of unforeseen complications, the mother's desires, or hospital policies. With these facts in mind, make a detailed plan that states your preferences for the medical community. Keep one on hand in the birth bag, one in your chart with the primary provider's medical records and have one on file at the hospital where you plan to have your baby. It can be a legally binding agreement for informed consent in the advent of unforeseen complications. If you desire a tubal ligation, make sure you have discussed in full your desires and plans with the primary provider!It is wise to prepare a birth plan in advance.
    A birth plan is the most effective way to safeguard your rights and desires!

    When a Provider's Decisions Conflict with your Birth Plan

    When you are presented with an option that contradicts your birth plan or what you desire for a birth experience use this formula to come to a decision! Ask the BRAND-questions at the doctor's office: B-enefits?
    R-isks for mom? risks for baby?
    A-lternatives?
    N-othing: What if we don't do anything and just wait to let nature take it's course?
    (And keep asking follow-up questions until they have truly been answered with facts and information and not just scare tactics or evasive wishy-washy stuff)
    D-ecision (not on the spot, but thinking about it, discussing it with your partner, weighing the pros and cons, etc,)

    This is what an informed consent is based upon and how you can have an empowering childbirth experience!

    There are many wonderful ways you could involve into your birth plan like soft relaxing soothing music, oil burners, fresh flowers, use a birthing ball, have a massage, low lighting, a warm soothing bath or shower.many things. Just write down what "YOU' want and hand it to them, or a copy of it when you go for your first book in appointmnt, I am going too. Tell your midwife all your thoughts when you see her, its better late than never right!


    BellyBelly Again sweetie if I had the money I would do that in a flash!

  16. #16

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    You could try your library? It's just soooo important to have some sort of education...

    http://www.bellybelly.com.au/article...you-plan-birth

    Here's an article about birth plans but again, the main opposition you will face from people is if you have your 'ideal' birth plan, but don't have the support and / or knowledge behind you as to how you can achieve that, makes it very hard. Don't forget you can get trainee doulas for free! Some may even have a Pink Kit.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  17. #17

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    Kelly thats a good idea sweetie, very good idea indeed!~ Hmmmmmmmmmm.I was going to say the library as well. I have foxtel and they ahve some great birth shows on there that are very educational. So I could send Emma1979 a dvd ona few just so she can see what real labour is like! Let me know Emma1979 ok. Free of charge of course!!!

    After Phoenix is born I will start my course to become a Doula! SO excited I could wet my pants!

    I had to fight my hospital once before so if they try to give me the run around about any desicions I make this time they will hear me roar again!

    Wow that article looks interesting will have to read the whole thing now. I still think writing a birth plan is a good idea, first it makes you feel a little more empowered so long as you stick to your guns and make sure you "KNOW" you can have what you chose to in your birth-plan. Better to go a little prepared than not. Wether you get only one or two things of the list swaying your way, it was your plan and something good came of it.

    Off to read more!

  18. #18

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    thanks for all the info guys.... i have been watching 'maternity ward' on foxtel so have had my eyes opened a fair bit!! i have got some great people around me so think i will be fine, just wish i could have started the classes earlier i guess.

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