Support people and waiting outside the birth suite... is this normal?

[sangie]

Leasha I will also be praying that you go into labour outside of Shels work hours! But if not can you maybe just txt or phone her directy and maybe she could leave quietly? I agree - why is this work colleague so interested anyway??????

Aside from that I would probably just make your wishes known to everybody now and that you don't want them to come until you or Shel phones them......it gets it all out in the open and if they aren't happy then too bad, your baby and your decisions! Remember to enlist the help of the midwives to send away ANYBODY that turns up, you don't need that kind of stress! I had a room full of people when my DD was barely 6 hours old and I swear there is no way that is going to happen next time......ok rant over lol!

[sconeonamission]

It's your decision who you want in there with you and how you want to have the birth. My MIL and mother were a little peeved they weren't going to be in the delivery room. Finally, DH and I decided (well, I decided and he had to go along with it) that I wasn't even going to tell them when I went into labour, they would be notified when the baby was born. And that was how it happened. I also wanted to go with out drugs, but ended up having 1 shot of peth and using the gas (which dh helped to use )

Enjoy the time that you and shell have alone in the delivery room. It's magic. I basically had arrived in my room in the ward, got into the bed and ppl showed up!! My PIL and BIL were told that visiting hours don't start til 11 and they turned up about 10 mins after they got the call. DH sent them away.

Best of luck, and congratulations!

[Shanti]

It makes you wonder, don't these people have anything better to do than wait around in a waiting room for a baby that may take hours to come out????? not to mention how irritating for the mother etc etc....

Alisia, make sure you let the midwives know that you only want to accept phone calls between certain times!! Otherwise not only visitors but you'll have the phone ringing all the time.... Mum made mention of this to me recently when she was in hospital. She was so annoyed as she just wanted to sleep!!

** Thanks for this thread girls, I am taking all this in and will use all this advice one day!!! **

[Indadhanu]

Ok, had a chat with Shel last night again.

We decided our best call is to firstly write a letter/notice kind of letting people know what we need to support us in the times leading up to, during and after the birth, so they all know. I'm going to include NOT calling each day near the due date to see if I am in labour, or continually asking when I am due, and also that I don't know how I'll feel after the birth, if I'llw ant visitors straight away or if we'll just want time to cuddle our precious little girl, so we'll call as soon as we would like visitors.
And secondly in that letter will be an invitation to have a 'waiting party' at our place when we are in hospital, as we'll need someone to make sure the cats don't run out of foord or water and all that (AND I think the party should involve cleaning and cooking some meals to freeze ).

Might hand them out at the baby shower!

What do you reckon?

[rufalina]

I think is sounds good. It nice way to let everyone know, and coming from the both of you , takes that pressure off telling them face to face, and having to deal with objections and arguements... Can you have a special job for each person they feel responsible for something???

And I do like the "waiting party" idea. It will definitely make them feel useful and involved. And if they are together they can keep each other occupied and entertained, and be out of your way.

Good luck with it!!!

[leebee81]

If it were me I know I couldn't be bothered writing it up but it might work. I'd just not tell anyone, its much less work.

I forgot to put in my previous post, at my hospital (RNS Public) the "Waiting Room" is actually 3 dinky uncomfortable plastic chairs in a corridor outside two sets of locked doors which require a pass to get through. Those doors lead to the birth unit entrance. In order for my IL's to come in and see us, hubby had to go and get them with a midwife who could let them all back in. They told us they do it to discourage people from sitting around. Theres noone in the corridor to ask about how the labour is progessing and if the people waiting do manage to find someone to ask they can't be told anything anyway as patient info is confidential. It might be worth letting people know if there is nowhere to wait/the hospital don't encourage waiting around.

[meow]

I like the waiting party idea as at least they might realise they can do something helpful rather than sitting on their butts willing you toxic thoughts about your labour!

I meant to say before that you sound just like me with regards to planning a drug-free, no intervention birth. Sure you're a first timer so you really have no idea what it is like but I assure you- you can do it!

[alioops]

Hun 1st of all I would have an extra support person there, Shel is not superhuman and may not handle you being in that much pain very well. However I would not want any of these women to be that support person. I would choose someone who you feel most comfortable with, who supports your wishes, and who you could handle showing you woohoo to.

2nd of all I would be firm and tell them that you dont want them there for personal reasons and that you do appreciate that they are excited, but that waiting is not appropriate. You could do the party (that sounds great) but it is worth telling them when things happen of there will be issues with family. I like the idea of the waiting party - only if they can have a key or they can have a back entry left unlocked. I would recommend that Shel talk to the friend from work's boss to ensure she has to stay at work. would be easy if she ll is doing a simple release back into the wild when you call!