I never found my contractions painful, so I was aware of tearing with all my births. It really wasn't that bad, kinda like a stinging sensation as you are so stretched at the point of birth it's not like a thick cut. Afterwards with my first the stitches were awful but I found out a week or so later I had been so busy trying to do everything that I burst them open. With my second I rested after the birth and I healed up very fast. I tore again with the twins but needed no stitches that time and again healed very fast. Honestly it has made no difference to my sex life.