I was also pretty scared of this pre birth. I ended up with a pretty bad 2nd degree tear & it felt okay but still tender by the time we came home, so day 5. After a few weeks it felt alot better, but I could still feel for a few months - feel as in not painful or anything just know it was there. At my 7wk check up my ob said I was healed well & I had a pap test and it was fine - I was absolutley dreading it before the appt and was surprised it felt no different from any previous pap test i'd had.
As far as sex goes we didnt dtd until dd was about 6 months and then veryyyy slowly increased, for me it did take a while for it to feel ok again, but it did.
It has in no way effected me not wanting to give birth again, I very much look forward to being able to give birth again