Im sorry you are feeling as anxious as you are about your impending arrival's birth. I beleive every woman has the right to embrace their labour and for it it be empowering, yes i know things dont always go to plan, but i beleive every woman has this right starting out.

Somehow you need to get your confidence back. I was quite anxious going in to have #2 because i had torn badly with #1 but i had an awesome mw who listened to my concerns and helped me immensely guiding me through that birth and ive never looked back.

Might i suggest you read some books, like Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and/or similar and make yourself some little affirmations to say each day like "I can do this, i embrace this upcoming birth with open arms" (this is just a quick one off the top of my head, you can make one up to suit you).

Somehow you need to release this anxiety you have, even try mentioning how you feel at your next mw visit.

I hope things settle for you xxx