having to have a c-section, not being able to cope with the pain, tearing so badly I do permanent damage, something bad happening to bubs etc.
All of these things can be avoided, they aren't common IF you lessen your risk of the likelihood of them happening.

Having a c-section - inductions, epidurals, intervention - all make the risk of a c-section higher. So avoid them if possible. If you end up with an induction, stay active as much as possible to help the baby move down and out

Coping with pain - read hypnobirthing books. Or positive birth stories without pain relief. Its hard to believe that we can in fact cope with that level of pain, but its not a pain you can describe to someone? Its not like breaking your leg for instance, nobody would want to do that deliberately so they can sit there in pain - labour pain is productive. Its actually doing something useful - its birthing your baby. The more you fight it, the more it hurts. So the ONLY thing you need to do is breathe and relax. Forget about mind stuff, just breathe. Everyone can breathe. There are going to be around 300,000 women in the world giving birth at the same time you will be, and not all of them are going to be using pain relief. So you can cope, and you will. Every contraction you have brings you closer to your baby.

Tearing - the way you push the baby out and position of birth can help minimise your risk of tearing. I hardly tore for my VBA2C because I listened to my midwife and hesitated briefly - more than I did with my second VBA2C. I did tear with that one, but I didn't need stitches, so even if you do tear, its not necessarily going to be the worst outcome. If it makes you feel better, massage the area before birth

Something bad happening to bubs - most births are without anything bad happening to bubs. A low percentage of babies die during labour - very low. And there are signs of something going "wrong" and your midwife worries about that - its her job. So don't worry about it, because its not your job. Its hers. Lay the responsibility with her and acknowledge release of that control over to her. Trust in her.

I think its perfectly normal to be scared of birth, I've had several freak outs this pregnancy even though I've already done it drug free - twice! But you never know what you are going to be dealt, nobody does, plan for the best and know that at the time you are capable of doing anything.

Breathe. And relax. Leave all the other business to everyone else. We know how to breathe, we know how to relax and our body knows what to do. Have faith in it.