Wow thanks so much. There is so much good info in the posts and I am going to go back and read them all again and let it really sink in. I will look up the books mentioned as well.

Arimeh- I think you summed it up perfectly for me with the lessening the liklihood. in my line of work (ohs) it's all about looking at the worst credible outcome and putting controls in place to minimise the liklihood of it occurring so I need to apply the same principles to birth.

I am very happy with my care provider. It is an OB but he definitely takes the time to explain things to me and is supportive of a hands off birth. He also has midwifes based at his clinic who I also see at every appointment who are also very informative.

Once again thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I'm already feeling more empowered by having a bit of an action plan in place of what I need to do to get in the right headspace.