toddler in birthing room?

[*Efjay*]

I guess it depends how you labour. I'm a raving lunatic, so probably not a good idea, but for those ladies that manage to do it quietly and calmly, I think it would be great

Yep, this needs to be looked at as well. If you know you are not going to cope well with the labour then you need to think about that.

When I think about it, BIRTH its self isn't traumatic. Seeing mummy in labour & how she deals with it is what could be traumatic.

[castle]

FionaJill, the OP did post again, about 3 down in the thread I think....

Renee, you have have had so many interesting replies. Looking at them I think I would add more to my post. Like Caro, I had the impression that you didn't especially want DD there, and were hoping that she could be distracted by toys etc. If you would PREFER that she not be there, if you don't have a person dedicated to looking after her, then I don't think it's a good idea to take her along with only a bag of goodies to help (and I'm pretty sure Maitland won't allow it w/o her own carer).

It's tricky isn't it--because if you find someone to look after her at the birth, that adult is also someone you have to feel comfortable with to see you in labour. I had the impression (wrong?) that you felt a paid babysitter either at home or in hospital was unaffordable. It sounds like you might be a bit isolated because obviously if you had a friend or relative to watch her, then this wouldn't be an issue

If you would LIKE to have her, and have someone to watch her, then I agree it can be a very meaningful experience for both you & her, definitely doesn't have to be traumatic. It just depends on what you would like and on a bit of advance planning.

I was in a similar situation when my 2nd was born. We had lived only 8 months in that town and family were not nearby. After going back & forth a bit, we decided not to bring DS no. 1, then 21 months, to the birth (the midwife had said it was A-OK either way). I'm glad I didn't...I am not a screamer or anything, but the labour ended up being long & needed all my attention.
We had to change our care plans for him at the last minute because DS no 2 came a bit early, and the original person who was to come over, was away! We ended up taking him to the wife of someone dh worked with. He had met her before but hadn't yet been to her house. Although it would seem like a setup for trauma....midnight dropoff at a strange house...he had a great time. He and her boys, a bit older, had a fantastic time playing the next day. I went home 6 hours after delivery anyway. In later months whenever we went to her house, he did remember (with enjoyment) that special night. LOL, years later he asked to come to the birth of no 3. I said yes with no hesitation, but a couple of months before the birth he changed his mind.

Not only do I have 4 children, I used to teach in a preschool. I can tell you that how YOU feel about the whole thing will have a big impact on how your DD responds. If you are enthusiastic about having her there, have a carer, & take time to prepare her....then it's an excellent chance that everything will be great. If you're not sure, or would rather not...she will pick up on those feelings too. If you arrange a babysitter at your or their house, & feel really secure about that, then she will probably feel very happy with it too.

I think that making friends with a few of your neighbours, as you said, would be a good idea. I bet that one of them will offer to babysit anyway! Good luck.