understanding pregnancy, labour and it's choices

[it's my bump too]

G'day all, I'm in need of a lil help.. My wife is about 20wks, she is Japanese and although she was taught "american" english and understands quite a bit of "australian" english given a bit of speed or accent of a stranger words are often missed, partially or not understood therefore I am needed to be a medium to clarify things on top of my hubby duties during her labour. I search answers to questions online but I don't know many of the Q's to search. for example I have just found out there is a second pain reliever to epidural - gas. I have never read a complete book in my life but I am asking can someone guide me to what book would be best to give me the questions so I can search and be educated about australian labour come the day, one thats up to date thanks in advance.
Also I have seen a book for blokes online "cheers to childbirth" but all the reviews I have found are from people with vested interests - have anyone here read this? is it informative enough for what I need to know? thanks

[LionsandBears]

I can recommend the book "Dad's pregnant too" by Harlan Cohen. It's interesting without being patronising. There's also a website.

I hadn't heard of Cheers to Childbirth, but i see it's written by the Beer & Bubs people. I highly recommend the Beer and Bubs classes for men. My DH went to one and found it invaluable. It was probably the best childbirth education investment we made and I didnt even go DH was even able to advise me of stuff during birth that i didnt know and i had done a heap of reading. I'd be interested to read the book.

If you want further education about birth, I recommend a Thinking Woman;s guide to Childbirth or Sheila Kitzinger's Pregnancy book.

[onthefly]

Hi
Congrats on your upcoming baby!
So, are you looking for specific information on birth practices at your hospital/choice of carer? Or more general information about birth, how it works, and what your options are?

[Dansta]

check out Kaz Cookes "up the duff"
simple but very good.

Maybe look into a dula as well they'd be a wealth of info. Goodluck

[frog]

My partner is not a big reader either, but he wanted to be well prepared to help me as much as possible. I second Beer and Bubs and the Cheers to Childbirth book, and I read Up the Duff-it is presented in laymans terms, and is a bit lighthearted! It isn't heavy reading either. A thinking woman's guide to childbirth (Henci Goer) is excellent, could be a bit wordy? My partner found that once he started reading, it prompted his thoughts a bit, and that's when he started asking questions. He often comments on how he didn't realise how much goes into having a baby!

We also went to a couples workshop with a doula, which was just two couples at a time so quite personalised. I found that all of this really empowered my partner, he knows all the lingo now, and I trust that he knows what to expect and how to relay what I want if I'm not able to.

Good luck with it, and good on you for looking for some info and options, I know for me it has been amazing to see my partner embrace our pregnancy and learn about something totally foreign to him purely for the benefit of me and our baby. I'm sure your partner will appreciate any help you can offer her!

[it's my bump too]

Thanks Ladies, I will head off to the shops tomorrow.
MadB I am after something in a general nature but relavant to Aust in regard to the decisions we may need to make or the preceedures that may need to be performed. I have thought of a Doula and I am not sure if we go that avenue as I am the only one in the family that understands what a doula does- my brother (father of 3) doesn't know what one is, and then after explaination he thinks it's my job and this is part of the experience. My wife doesn't want too many people there and then I will still need to explain it- maybe I need to just study what I can but still I won't have the knowledge , just a dim torch in the tunnel of darkness compared to a Doula's Spotlight. thanks.

[Chrispe]

The is also a book called "Birth:" it's written by a midwife and a doula. by Cathrine Price and Sandra Robinson.

[onthefly]

So maybe if you're not a reader, then a class might be more helpful? Do you get up to Perth? The Community Midwifery Program offers a range of classes, including one just for dads.
Or maybe a DVD? I think there's beer, blokes and babies.... I have no idea if it's any good, though.
A doula is there to support mum and dad, so it's essential that your wife feels totally comfortable with her, too. If you could find someone who you both gelled with, though, it could be invaluable during the labour since you will have to additional responsibility of making sure your wife understands everything that's happening.

I'm sure you'll be a very helpful dim torch

[Santosha]

I wonder if you could have a look on the local doula websites / facebook pages and see if there happen to be any Japanese and English speaking doulas out there? (I know, unlikely, but worth a try!) It might help bridge the language barrier for your wife as well as provide you with the advocacy, information and support that you need. All the best!

[Chrispe]

If you want someone who speaks both languages you might find a student midwife who is Japanese.

[luna moth]

I recommend Better Birth by Hanc0ck and Newman. Written for Australia, by Australians, simple, to the point, and not too long.

[Three Graces]

I second the Beer and Bubs classes.

Re: a doula - they're there to support BOTH of you during labour. My husband was sceptical when I wanted to hire one for the birth of our second son. He thought that we wouldn't need one, however, I felt really pressured with our first birth and lots of intervention and I wasn't able to speak once I was in labour and we'd done plenty of reading and attending Calmbirth classes, so although my husband 'knew' a lot, it was vastly different on the day. A doula can advocate for both of you. They will meet with you several times before your baby is due and will know what you and your wife want/don't want. They are experienced in attending hospitals and know the jargon and what to expect. I saw our doula as the bridge between us and the hospital system. She was awesome support for both us. B.c as much reading as you do, nothing really prepares you for birth as it's just so different for everyone. You can 'interview' a few doula's to see if you get on with them and there's no pressure to hire somebody if you feel that they're not right for you. My husband was absolutely in favour of us hiring the same doula again for our third pregnancy/birth. She was worth every cent we paid and more. It takes some of the pressure off you and provides double the support for your wife. Often the hospital staff will come in and out of your room and often, it's just the two of you in the room, so having somebody there, who can help you understand what's going on, is invaluable.

Wishing you all the best for the rest of the pregnancy and becoming new parents!

[little_O]

The is also a book called "Birth:" it's written by a midwife and a doula. by Cathrine Price and Sandra Robinson.

I second this one!!! It is so good! It's written for Australians, our health system etc and it covers all the questions you could think of.
I found it great because it had bits for the "support person" aka you