I had no idea what i was doing during my first labour - consequently i tore heavily and consider it a bloody awful experience. So, like, you, i tried to be more equipped with info with pregnancy #2.

That 'urge' you feel to push is just the baby being very very low on your cervix..You'll definitely notice the REAL urge to push when you're almost or fully dilated. It feels like you have to take the biggest poop of your life and you'll die if you don't. LOL. Seriously.

Yep, midwives gave me an internal (one of many) to determine how far dilated i was.....all my pregnancies i had very short second stages of labour - so when i was given the go-ahead to push, baby usualyly came out straight away....I found the overpowering urge to push, when i wasnt fully dilated really hard. But with my two labours i really found focussing on my breathing helped.

Good luck...