Hey all,

I have a big phobia of having a c-section and I'm trying to come to terms with that is what might happen due to a few factors, but mainly due to surgery I had between my last pregnancy and this one.

I need to hear from other women that have possibly been in the same situation of having babies after a few uterine/ovarian surgeries.

A bit of history - I had a lapraoscopy when I was 15, due to PCOS and had ovarian drilling.

Later in life, I had two vaginal births and was able to have them pretty closely to what I wanted, drug free active births, gravity assisted, etc. First was 8 hours (induced due to PE) and 2nd was 10 hours (requiring membrane rupture 7 hours in). I had to have a D&C few weeks after each birth because bits of the placenta broke off causing uterine infections both times. I am convinced this was because of the rushed 3rd stage.

Since DD was born, I developed endometriosis that grew through my reproductive organs, as well as on bits on my bowel, uretha area. I only found this out when a large endometrioma I didn't know I had ruptured and caused perionitis. They weren't sure what they would find when they opened me up, but found this endometriosis everywhere. I had laser removal of it, done privately by a gynae and it seemed to get rid of it all.

A year later, I had symptoms of another rupture. I was rushed to emergency in a public hospital and they for some reason which I will never understand, did a laparotomy (open stomach surgery) instead of a lap. I don't know what they found, it was very painful and I couldn't stop scratching or throwing up, I was allergic to the painkillers and therefore could have none, I had to leave two days later to be with my kids and had a mental breakdown 2 weeks after the event, later developing post traumatic stress disorder due to the surgery and an abusive marriage which I decided to leave during this time. I now live in another state and still dont' know what happened, or why they did open surgery.

This was two and a half years ago. They didn't sew it up well, the scar was about 25cm and it looks kind of botched now, hurts often. The hospital is well known to stuff things up and have dodgy surgeons.

Have had a scan or two since which showed fibroids. I also developed severe PCOS last year which made my AF stop altogether for months. Basically, it's a miracle I conceived again with my scarred body and endo and PCOS.

So now I'm starting to wonder, if this is going to affect my chances of having my natural birth? I have read stories about people not being able to dilate due to scarring, people not being allowed to have vag births because of open surgery (I have no idea in the world if they cut into my uterus or not).

Because of the open surgery gone wrong, I have a major fear of having a c-section. I have gone to great lengths to avoid any medical input at all into this pregnancy, but I was informed when I went to my first AN appoinment at 24 weeks that because of my PE history, retained products and kidney & liver problems during pregnancy that I can no longer be in midwife care and that I cant' give birth in the birth centre most likely.

I am scared, really scared. I know c-sections these days aren't a big deal, but I woke up from my open surgery with no drugs being pumped in - I felt like I had been gutted. I can handle a lot of pain, I'm an endo & migraine suffere and I had drug free posterior births, but that pain when I woke up from the open surgery changed something in me, it broke me and was a major cause of the breakdown. I am scared of that happening again. I can't have morphine and other major painkillers except pethadine, but they don't like giving peth these days in public hospitals. I can't have any antinausea medication as I'm allergic to it. Surgery and me just don't go together.

I'm sorry this is so long!

I'd love to hear from anyone that has any experience or knows a bit about having a vaginal birth after major abdo surgery.