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Thread: weddings and birth clash

  1. #1

    Default weddings and birth clash

    Hi all,
    I am expecting my 2nd child in 4 weeks (EDD), and am booked in for an elective c/s on Dr advice, due to emerg c/s last time for 10pd2 baby.
    Trouble is that my husbands sisters wedding is 11 days before my due date, and my husband is planning on going. It is a six hour drive away. I am devastated that he is not staying with me, in case the baby comes early. If it comes early, he wont be back in time. Am I being reasonable in expecting him to stay with me? Any thoughts on how you would feel would be much appreciated. Thanks


  2. #2

    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Canberra
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    3,617

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    This is a tough one. I completely understand where you are comming from. Having said that, it is two wks before your DD and it is his sisters wedding. I think I would either be going with him, or allowing him to go with a strict timeline of when he has to be back and beiing contactable at all times.

    But that is just me. It really is a hard position for both of you to be in. from your veiw, you want him there JIC. From his veiw the likihood of him needing to be there at that point in time is very slim, and he will resent you for it if you don't 'let' him go and the baby doesn't make an appearance - which statistically speaking it probably won't).

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Adelaide, SA
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    3,962

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    I tend to agree with misty, I can definitely see your point of view but I can see your husbands too.
    Were you overdue, early or on time with your last pregnancy? Not that that's a huge indication but if you were overdue it may give you peace of mind that you may go over this time too.
    Maybe you could go with him?

  4. #4

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    Hi Bee,

    I would be unhappy with that too. Does he know how you feel? And have you asked him how he would feel if you did have the baby and he missed it? Its not likely that you will go into labour just when he is not there but for me the issue would be that I would be really worried about my hubby not being with me that close to the EDD.

    Its obviously a hard call for your hubby as he wants to be there with the rest of his family at such an important event.

    Also, even if you did start labour when he was at the wedding you would call him and how likely would it be that you would deliver inside 6 hours? Maybe he could have his bag packed in the car and not drink and leave his phone on? So he can jump in the car with 10 minutes notice and be back with you in 6 hours? Would that work as a comprimise?

    Rachel

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Brisbane
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    Is your c/s booked in on your EDD? Normally they are booked early enough that it is unlikely that you will go into labour before then.

    Personally I think it would be unfair to ask your husband to miss his sister's wedding. You would have to be very unlucky to go into labour in the short time he is away. I understand how you are feeling, I have told DH that is not allowed to go on any more work trips after next week, but a wedding is different. I would be either going with him, or as Rommy'sMummy suggested, have him not drink so he can drive back at a moments notice.

  6. #6

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    Thanks for your replies. Well the issue is still there for us, but I guess we will have to find a solution soon. My c/s date is on the due date- so if I go into labour early they will operate within the hour- so hubby would not get back in time.
    I am not confident to go with him and be away from my doctor and hospital, which has my medical history.
    I know the chance of going into labour 11 days early is slim, but if it happens, I would be devasted. To me, the birth of our child is more important than any other event and not worth risking not being present. I guess I am also terrified of giving birth alone, and concerned that he might not be there if something goes wrong.
    But i definately understand that he would like to be at his sisters wedding. Wish it wasnt all happening.

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