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Thread: Weighing up the pros and cons

  1. #37
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    I know I've still got oodles of time and I still have heaps of research to do but I had an off day today.
    I just don't know how passionate I am about trying for a VBAC.
    I was thinking today that if I find out I'm having a boy, I'd definitely have a caesar.... sounds silly, I know. However, my mother lost her only boy... so I think that's why I'm thinking such irrational thoughts. Then I feel guilty that I'm willing to risk a girl but not a boy.

    Hmm... I really need to speak to someone about all of this, don't I?


  2. #38

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    Deb, I can recommend someone fabulous to de-brief with but she's in Melbourne - if you'd like someone closer I can help you find someone, but there are people who do professional birth de-briefing... they don't take sides just help you unravel your feelings about birth and what you really want.
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children

    BellyBelly Birth & Early Parenting Immersion - Find out how to have a BETTER, more confident birth experience... guaranteed!
    Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know

  3. #39
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Thanks ladies.
    I'll give the hospital a call after Christmas and see if the nurses there are a little more forthcoming with advice. I'll specifically ask for some kind of birth councellor.
    If I get no joy, I might get you to help me out, Kel Thankyou!

  4. #40
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    I was just thinking of another issue.... my weight.
    Unfortunately I stacked the weight on after having Gabby. I was big to begin with but I reckon I'm a good 10-15kgs heavier than when I first got preggo with Gab.
    How do you reckon this will affect my chances of a natural/vaginal birth? I'm trying to not put on too much weight whilst pregnant. I put 10kgs on with Gabby. I'm not being silly about it... just trying to make healthier choices with food and trying to stay active (not difficult with a toddler).
    Does weight play a major role on whether I'll be successful with a natural birth? Take into account that I'm well over 100kgs... I'm not talking just a little bit overweight here.

  5. #41

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    Deb in all the books of read they have never mentioned that weight is an issue, so maybe it's not??? I'm not 100% sure though.

  6. #42

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    I'm not really sure either Deb. But I do know that a c section for a bigger lady is a bigger op as there as more layers to go through (sorry, didn't know how else to say it)

    So the way I see it, there is another pro VBAC thing

  7. #43
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Trish - I think any surgery is a bigger risk to larger people for a multitude of reasons. I think the anaesthetic and drugs are dangerous? I know that's why a lot of plastic surgeons won't work on people until they've gotten down to a safe weight. Then of course there's all the extra layers... tis a fact so I'm not offended

    Sarah - it's good that it's not mentioned in the books. What are the books you have again? I should go and get them now that the silly season is over.

    I've got Kelly looking for doula's in my area (or that are willing to travel to Hammo). I figure if I'm gonna do this, it'll be good to have the extra support. Haven't spoken to Neil about it yet but he's a "steady as she goes" type bloke. Too much stuff at once and he tunes out! LOL I think he'll be open to it tho.
    I've decided that I don't want Mum there this time. Not sure how she'll react. I'd rather her look after Gabby. I know Gabby will be ok with her if Neil and I are away from her for a number of hours. Hopefully she'll be gracious about it.

  8. #44

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    Cool Deb, of course I should have mentioned the other things too. Lol.

    Good on you for looking into having a doula. Maybe tell Neil you feel you need the extra support without your mum being in there ?? Even if this isn't the case

  9. #45
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    I've just emailed Neil with a link to a site that briefly explains what a doula is and what they do (in nice, plain language.... man's language ). I'll see if I get a response today.
    I reckon he'll be all for it then crack it about the cost. He's a bit of a tight-arse. Hmm... maybe I just won't tell him..... hehehe.

  10. #46

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    The cost was one of the things Mark whinged about with our HB. I just told him that women spend thousands on OB's who quite often don't turn up or just for the last 5 minutes. I got a whole lot of care for my $3000, plus after care too

  11. #47
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Well... thankfully having a doula doesn't cost THAT much! LOL
    You're right tho... people spend stacks in the private system so it's no different really.
    I have to go to the hospital this week to get blood tests done so I might see if I can speak to someone about seeing a midwife to have a chat. With any luck they'll be open to it. I can find out how they feel about me having a doula. Being a country hospital they may not have a lot of that sort of thing happening? I really don't know.... I don't like to presume.
    I'll also ask the midwives if they can recommend a Dr. at the clinic that's more pro-vbac. I'll be seeing my Dr. again a week after the bloods are taken but I doubt he'll want to discuss it further. He pretty much said I have to wait until 20 weeks (because a lot of women miscarry... blah, blah, blah... he likes bringing up the miscarriage thing). I've only seen him twice tho so I'll see how this third visit goes. I just can't wait another 10 weeks before discussing my options. I want to get my head around it iykwim? Waiting until half way through the pregnancy to even discuss things just seems silly!

  12. #48

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    Nice Dr, Deb. Sounds like he's a real positive man to be around.

    Fingers crossed you can find a more supportive Dr.

  13. #49
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Hahaha.... just got an email back from Neil:
    "Up to you about the doula... so long as it's $150 and not $800". Told ya he'd be hung up on the money! Arrgh!

  14. #50

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    Just tell him you can take the money out of the baby bonus Deb

    As for my books I have
    * Thinking Woman's Guide to Better Birth
    * Silent Knife
    * New Active Birth

    Had a drama getting VBAC Companion, but will get it eventually. Check out Amazon, do a search for cesarean (yep I know wrong spelling LOL) or VBAC and they have heaps of different ones.

  15. #51
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Thanks mate. I know you listed them earlier (or somewhere else?) but I'm lazy! hehehe
    I'll definitely grab them and have a good read.

    I managed to convince Neil that the cost of a doula isn't all that bad. He seemed happy that it doesn't have to be paid in one lump sum (always helps) and I think he can see that it'd be an investment. Now he just wants me to make sure she's good looking! Arrgh!! hahaaha

  16. #52

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    LOL at good looking Deb! And no prob about the book list

  17. #53

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    LOL Deb, Typical male wanting a good looking one.

    When it comes time for you to have your baby he'd better not be checking out your doula, I can imagine there would be more for him to look at

  18. #54
    Debbie Lee Guest

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    Hehehe Trish... I had a "hot doctor" deliver Gabby so Neil was checking her out while I had my guts open!! PMSL
    Naah... he's not that bad really (making him sound like a sleaze).

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