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Thread: When is the best time to call your Doula to be with you?

  1. #1
    s361768 Guest

    Default When is the best time to call your Doula to be with you?

    When is the best time to call your doula to come and be with you. My VBAC was my first time to have a doula (recommended by a friend). I really wanted a doula because of my past births and also because I needed the strength and confidence to have my VBAC.

    I called my doula 3 hours after I started labouring (3am or 4am) and did not have him till 5pm the next day. I feel bad that I got her out of bed to come and be with me. However I did not know how long I would take to birth and I was worried about my uterus rupturing etc etc.

    I don't want to call her when I am prelabouring this time because I don't want to be a burden.



    When is the best time for a doula to come and be with you?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    I think the best time is when you want her there

    Doula's are generally women who already have kids, so they realise that these things sometimes take a while! And because they're there to empower YOU, and make you as comfortable as possible, I would imagine they are happy to be there for as long as you need them!

  3. #3
    paradise lost Guest

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    If you don't want to be a burden then run along like a good girl and let them do a section? NO! I don't think so!

    Your Doula is a Doula because she wants to empower and enable women to have the births they desire and deserve, YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN! I assume you are paying her for her services, and that part of her services are "labour and birth support". Now, neither of you are in control of how long your labour will be, so it is common sense that there's not a "right" time to call her in terms of time, only in terms of when you need her.

    Having read a bit about what you went through last time and what you are going through now in your decision-making, i think you ought to call her as soon as you want her. My birth support woman (a friend not a doula) came when i was still able to chat through contractions and i really felt like we'd got into a groove before labour "got going" hard and everything just seemed to flow really nicely. Good birth support makes birth safer - you know this yourself, that's why you chose a Doula to care for you. Bearing in mind that you are having her help because it is safer, it makes no sense to try not to call her until it's "real" or "heavy" or whatever. If i had waited until i was desperate before getting DP to sit with me i would have been unable to do so, kwim? THings can get heavy fast.

    You make an excellent decision in employing the doula. Call her when you want her and let her do her job.

    Wishing you a WONDERFUL birth, you really deserve it.

    Bx

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    Aw hun don't feel bad! You call your doula to come when you need her - that's what she's there for!

    If you felt that you needed her at the time, and you had a worry in the back of your head about the vbac issues and you needed her reassurance, then you called her at the right time :hugs:

    I tell my mums to give me a call as a "heads up" when labour is starting so I can get myself organised, even if they don't need me yet. Then they can call me to come whenever they need me. I don't care if it's the middle of the night, babies come when they want and if I didn't want to deal with that inconvenience I might think about becoming an obstetrician! (:P bad joke!) Honestly, she wouldn't have thought anything of it. And as for being with you for so long - 12 hours really isn't too bad, alot of first births would go for that long and she wouldn't have been worried about that either

    When you need her, is the right time for her to be there....don't feel like a burden.

  5. #5
    s361768 Guest

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    Thanks Girls, for your responses. You have made me feel better about this.

    My doula advised me, when I asked her about it, that a good time for her to come over should be when I am in true labour. Unlike last time when I was prelabouring.

    If it is night time, and I am prelabouring I should let her get some rest for the next day. Which I am semi-ok with because I feel bad that I woke her last time and bub wasnt born till much later that afternoon

    She doesn't think that my labour will be quick as all 3 of my labours were a bit long. Although it is in the back of my mind that irony might bite me in the butt and I do have this baby quicker, if I dont call (I think that could just be anxiety though).

    I feel so silly being panicky about my 4th baby.

    My Doula did reassure me when I asked, that she would come over when I need her, but I just want to time it so she can be rested for during the day, because I know that she would prefer to be with me when I am in true labour.

    Thanks again for your responses, to all my posts. It has been really comforting reading all members posts throughout my pregnancy.

  6. #6
    paradise lost Guest

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    A good thing to try hun is the rest test yourself. When ctx start, lie down and try to nap, think about something else, read a non-baby related book, watch a movie, distract yourself as much as possible. If it hurts too bad and you can't lay still and sleep then call her. I'm pretty skeptical about "prelabour" as that is when you have ctx but are less than 4cm dilated right? I was 2-3cm after 11 hours of contractions and had DD without pushing 4 hours later. WHEN would i have called my doula!?

    Bx

  7. #7

    Join Date
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    My doula advised me to call her at the beginning to give her a heads up that things are happening... but then to call her when we plan to go to the birth centre and she'll meet us there. This way she's had as long as possible to rest and be a new lease of life for us when things are further along.

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