When is the 'right' time to call your support person/people?

[Trillian]

I know I have a way to go yet, but lately I have been thinking when is the right time to call your support people in? (DH/doula etc). It could happen this time that DH is on shift when I go into labour (day or night) and it would be at least 1.5hrs before he could get home, depending on where he is on site (1/2hr to finish up leave and 1hr home). It is also an hours drive to the hospital, so it could be up to 3.5 hrs until we get there. So I am just wondering when is the right time to call him home? I don't want to have him come home, only to tell him its' fizzled out when he walks in the door but nor do I fancy having the baby in the car on the side of the road. I am going to ask a good friend of mine to be here with me if I need it (MIL will have the kids) and if need be she can drive me to hospital and DH can meet us there.

So what have you all done? Do you wait until you feel that you can't do it by yourself anymore or do you just know when to call them?

[christy]

our plan was to wait for an hour of progressive labour, so from when the smaller twinges turned into something more and then I would phone DH. Well after 2 weeks of on/off twinges we had a few scares where I actually phoned DH to meet me or come home & nothing happened....so I'm not much help because there were a few false starts. But I think also it may be because I've not been through a spontaneous labour before.

Our plan with our birth support was to phone her with any twinge at all and then phone progress reports and when/if I was headed into hospital to phone her straight away, it was going to take her 1 1/2 hours to get to us with her finding childcare etc, so the plan was for her to be able to prepare and get ready.. The first few hours to labour I sent DH to bed & did the washing up and phoned Kelly and our birth support for keeping me occupied...

[Trillian]

Thanks Christy. I have been lucky before that I have always 'gone' during the night, so DH has always been with me, but this time he could be away and It is just so hard to know in the early stages whether it really is it, isn't it? I don't mind the idea of being by myself during the night if he is on nightshift, cause the kids will be in bed and it will nice just to have the time to myself.

[becmc]

I guess the point for me to call my dh and my doula will be when I feel I can't handle being on my own anymore. You may find you can still potter around the house doing things in early labour, and feel totally comfortable, but maybe when you start to need some outside support would be a good time??

[Karina]

We are only 10-15 mins from hospital and hubby doesnt work shifts, so our situation is different.. but I called my mum who was my other support person when we were on the way to the hospital at 1:30am. In my case my waters broke and I started getting strong contractions 3 mins apart straight away so when I rang the midwife, she said she wanted me to come in straight away.
I suppose, i would definately call your support person on the way to the hospital at the latest.. or maybe when you start getting regular contractions and perhaps give updates, just to let them know what is happening so they can be prepared to meet you there. I dont really know much about it but thats what I'd do!

[{sarah}]

I'm going to have the same issue with my support team being in Melbourne whilst I am in Sydney LOL! Assuming they can get straight to the airport, on a plane then straight here, we're looking at roughly 3.5 hours before they arrive on my doorstep!

[Janet]

I'm going to have the same issue with my support team being in Melbourne whilst I am in Sydney LOL! Assuming they can get straight to the airport, on a plane then straight here, we're looking at roughly 3.5 hours before they arrive on my doorstep!

Ah my kinda birth One of my dearest friends flew down from Brissie to my birth. We had a *ahem* Logistics Trial one week when I had a massive hindwater leak that nearly drowned me, DP and the older kid in the bed! Labour settled down into just gentle able to be ignored for a week, then 8 days after that I woke up knowing it was labour and she flew back down again. It was very special and I'll always treasure the memory of her support. She was holding my hands when I birthed my baby I hope it works well for you, maybe minus the Logistics Trial....

[Trillian]

Geeze Sarah, that's a pretty good turn around - I was wondering how you were going to get over that hurdle when the time came LOL

[BellyBelly]

They might need a holiday and be there already LOL

[Astrolady]

I started contracting on the Tuesday arvo, but andrew already had the day off cause we had an ultrasound that same morning. when I was up and down in the early hours of wednesday morning and on the phone to the hospital just after midnight, Andrew said "I don't think I am going to work tomorrow" LOL.

So he has been lucky cause I have never had to "call him home" since the other 2 were induced. I called mum at 7pm on the Wednesday night to "come NOW" after an hour of regular strong contractions, and even then I was still worried i would goto the hospital and they would send me home again LOL.

Love

[{sarah}]

I think that sounds like a good idea Kel