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Thread: Who did you have present at the birth?

  1. #19

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Sydney, NSW


    For my first birth I had DP and my best friend there. I totally regret having my friend there, but felt pressured. My mum, brother, sister and family friend waited outside and I was over the moon to have them there as soon as DD was delivered. I just didn't want anyone seeing something so personal. THey were happy with that anyway, don't think they would have wanted to see it. I didn't even look in the mirror the Dr held up, yuk!!
    Anyway, next time it's just me and DH. My mum even said don't call until it's born, as it gets a bit frustrating waiting in the waiting room for hours. Because I felt so "high" straight after, I will be getting my immediate fam and in-laws to come straight after the birth. Also having DD, I will need someone to be there with her ready to come in as soon as the baby arrives. She did ask if she could watch (she's only nearly 7) and I told her I couldn't do that to her. I showed her a book about birth and think she understands!!!

  2. #20

    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    House of the crazy cat ladies...


    It was just me and DP at Aidyns birth... now when I look back on it I think that it may have been nice to have one of my sisters there - just because DP didnt really know what to do or say, and he didnt seem to realise how important this whole experience was - and his mood and manner was actually detracting from my experience..... but when Aidyn came out, it really hit home for him then, which was nice to see.

    I was lucky not to have any of my family or ILs asking or insisting to be at the birth... its like they understood that they would only be wanted there if I asked them to be, - and that was totally fine with them.

    Maybe next time I might have one of my sisters or Mum in there too, but not for the actual 'delivery' part, cause I would want those precious first moments to just be DP's and mine.

  3. #21

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    out and about


    With my first, the twins I had DH, and my mum, and my sister ( she was 16) and it was great, i felt they all knew how I was feeling, and the support, and love we got !! fabulous. Was not impressed htough coz DH went out and rang the IL's when things were getting there, and they were waiting outside, as soon as I had them they were in congratulating us, and I was not impressed, as I felt all yucky, and at a disadvantage.
    With DD#3 it was just DH and I as mum was looking after the twins, and my sister had moved away by then, to be honest I felt their absence and wish there could of been a way for at least mum to be there! With this one, it'll just be DH and I again, as mum will be looking after the other 3.
    BUT mum is a midwife and so is a fabulous birth coach. its a real personal thing., and you have to do what feels comfortable for you.
    With #3 we didnt even ring anyone for a few hrs ( it was 340 am) and IL's didnt bother coming for 2 days!!! mum etc visited that day!!

  4. #22
    *Yvette* Guest


    It's entirely your call MissusC. Don't feel obliged at all to have anyone there you're not totally comfortable with. You can always just say there was no time to call them in the rush. This is not a time to be giving yourself any stress at all.

    Having said that, I highly recommend having at least one support person as well as your DH. Somebody you feel quite relaxed with, it's not a time for modesty.

    I like having my husband, kids & a support person there, as well as a midwife I know, and I'm pretty oblivious to other people in the background. I've always known who was there though, my mum for 2 of them, another friend, my father & brother outside the room. This time I'll have a room full of stranger doctors which will be weird.

    Do it your way! You can always talk to the midwife beforehand too, so that you can let her know if anyone in the room is bothering you, and she could make up an excuse for you why they have to leave.

    It is really handy to have extra pairs of hands. Your DH will get tired & need a break, & the hospital staff are not there so much for comfort things for you. Having your own people there to get you drinks, washers, rub your back or whatever, non medical stuff, is great. But if they're not going to be any good at that stuff and just make you uptight, they've got no business being there.

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