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Thread: Why does eveyone think I'm crazy?!

  1. #1

    Join Date
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    Default Why does everyone think I'm crazy?!

    I want to have this baby at home, if all is well, and it seems like EVERYONE thinks that is ridiculous! I'm OK with opinions, and I want advice, but I want advice based on facts!
    I had my first pre-natal visit today (all is well, heard bubs heart! ) and my nurse practitioner had a fit when she heard I was thinking about having this one at home. She said that she knows MANY women whose babies would not be alive if they were born at home, and that the midwife carries almost no resuscitation equipment, and that the ambulance has NOTHING to help a newborn, and that even if the cord isn't cut, once the baby is delivered it receives no oxygen from the placenta, so it would need to be intubated if it was having trouble and the midwife can't do that, and that the more babies you have the higher risk you are for complications in labour (maybe if I was having my 12th baby, but this is my 3rd!), and that my babies were big, so I shouldn't think about trying this (my first was 6lb14oz, and my second was 7lb10oz - not big at all!) and that there is a REASON that women stopped having their babies at home, and that this is just a trend, and I just want a "warm fuzzy" birth with 30 people downstairs cheering, and my children watching the birth and the grandfathers out on the front porch, and that I'll put my baby at risk to do that! And, if I decide to have the baby at the hospital with the midwife, the midwife will MAKE me go to a different hospital an hour away because they have a better relationship with the OB's there.
    I was totally shocked at her response! It seemed very unprofessional to me, and it contradicted most of the research I have done so far!
    For the record, I want just my DH and the midwife at the birth, and if my kids are awake at the time, they will be at my mom's or DH's mom's house. I'm not a "hippy", I just don't think the hospital is necessary if all is well. And the hospital is 15 minutes away if we do end up in trouble. I had easy labours and births with my girls, needed no stitching, and I was up and around soon after the delivery. I went home about 24 hours after Elyse was born, and about 7 hours after Marieke. I don't think I'm crazy!
    But where do I find an unbiased, reasonable source of advice and information? Apparently the "traditional" medical community thinks that midwives are dreadful, and the midwives think that the hospital is dreadful! I don't think either one is true!
    I think I'm just going to have to talk to the midwives here and get their views, and then make up my own mind. That's what DH said, too. He's been really supportive, which is wonderful.
    So thanks for reading through my little rant. If you have any advice or information, for or against, I would love to hear it!

    Last edited by Cricket; March 23rd, 2007 at 01:35 AM. Reason: typo

  2. #2

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    I dont really see a reason for you NOT to have a home birth..... especially since your last 2 births went really well... and as you said teh hospital is only 15 mins away if things looked like they were going downhill or anything!!!


    Good luck with getting your Home Birth...

  3. #3
    melissa.r Guest

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    My second baby was born at home, it was wonderful. I am not a hippy, I am just a regular woman who wanted an empowered birth, with no interuptions or interventions, in my own environment, on my own terms. Homebirth is safe, anyone who tells you otherwise is misinformed. Talk to other women who have had a homebirth and if you don't know anyone, then seek them out. Contact a midwife who does homebirth and talk to them, they will provide you with all the current information and statistics on homebirth and can provide you with contacts of other women who have birthed at home. If you feel that this is the right place for you to birth, then make it happen - you will not regret it, as you will be treated with respect and dignity and have a beautiful experience. Good luck...

  4. #4

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    Full on, that nurse practitioner must get a commission for each child that is birthed at her hospital! I'd be asking for a different one next time.
    If you can afford it, I'd be getting a doula/private midwife.

    Good luck

  5. #5

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    A guy from works wife had one at home and i was very suprised only becuase i have never met anyone that had done that - all went well and bubs is healthy and happy - its your choice do what you want hun.

  6. #6

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    That's awful!
    I think you should find yourself a wonderful independent midwife and stay away from the scaremongering.
    It sounds as if you'd be perfect for a homebirth and if that's what you want there are plenty of people who can help you achieve that safely.
    A good friend of mine just had her second homebirth. She also had her first baby at home. Both of her babies were over 9lbs and she had no problems at all.
    Your body is made to do this and you already know it can do it successfully. Go for it and don't listen to rubbish like that!

  7. #7

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    I thought I had responded a few days ago, but apparently the computer ate my post. :throw_computer:
    Anyways, thanks so much for all the encouragement! It really helps! I've done a little more reading on my own, and found some great resources (google "home birth" if you are curious) and I've decided that the nurse-practitioner was being completely unreasonable. I still would really like to know WHY she was that way, but that's not really my problem. I've been considering writing a letter to her including some of the latest research stats, and quotes from other OBs on homebirth, etc. (It would be a polite letter, don't worry. ) It still bothers me a little that she would just go on a rant like that and tell me things that ARE NOT TRUE! Especially since my decison has no impact on her - she does not do prenatal care after 20 weeks, and never delivers. It is not her problem! I'm not letting her opinion affect my decision. I've called the midwife, and will hopefully be meeting with her soon, and we'll go from there.
    Thanks again!

  8. #8
    Claire Guest

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    I think it's a great idea! Good for you!

    This pregnancy is high risk because of the previous miscarriage, I have concerns and a need to place my confidence in a professional white coat. But I am putting in place stratergies (have found a doula) and will definitely not be as naive about pain for this labour. I want a drug free vaginal birth.

    If I have another child after this one, I would like to have it at home, a water birth and a more natural birth with no medical interventions. This is what I am working towards. So I say, it's great that you want to stay at home.

  9. #9
    student Guest

    Default Hello

    Hi there!
    Im a first year Bachelor of Midwifery Student. I read your post, and thought oh my god. As a prospective Midwife i believe absolutly that it is always the womans choice where she has her child. I dont think anyone has the right to try and talk you out of where you have your child. Wanting a home birth does not make you a "hippy", and noone has te roght to judge you on the choice that you have made. If you understand the risk involved in having a home birth, but you have made the choice to have the baby at home, then everyone should accept that.
    If you are 100% sure that that is how you want to experience the birth, then I believe that you should find either a midwife or whoever to help you facilitate that. I know that there are midwives around that will do this for you.

    Good luck with everything, and I hope you manage to get what you want.

  10. #10

    Default

    Cricket - you sound like you know what you're doing, more than the advisor does!

    Some things to counter what was said -
    * having a baby in hospital increases the risk of it and you dying (birth at home is safer - there is lots of research to show this!),
    * the baby gets oxygen just fine from the placenta until it is delivered and will *then* take a breath (google something like "physiological third stage" to read up on this),
    * midwives are amazingly skilled in normal birth which, unless you are for some reason high risk, yours should be,
    * the more babies you have the fewer complications you have (because post partum haemorrhage risks are lower for you rather than higher as your NP may assume),
    * your babies certainly haven't been big (women regularly birth bubs at 10lb and more - one woman in Tasmania birthed a 14lb one a few months ago, vaginally!),
    * the reason women moved from home to hospitals are many and varied and had NOTHING to do with safety, and
    * you are amazing and fantastic and completely able to birth this bub just like you did its sisters!!!!

  11. #11
    LizzysMum Guest

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    Go for it!! I have a friend who has had 3 homebirths and no worries.

    We (women) should be free to make choices about how we birth, and if there are no medical reasons for hospy then homebirth is a valid and safe option.

    Apparently in Holland most women have homebirths. I used to work with a dutch guy who was shocked to find that in Australia we birth in hospitals.

    Best wishes for a great homebirth!

  12. #12

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    My old boss is Dutch and in Holland it's more normal to birth at home. Her 2 kids were born with the help of her midwife and for one her husband was there and the other her sister was her support person.

    In a country where homebirthing is the norm, I don't think their cases of perinatal mortality are any higher than in countries that over medicalise the whole process.

    If you and bub are healthy and everything is normal then what's the problem I say?

    Perhaps find a more supportive midwife or even continue with her for your antenatal care but make sure you have another on the books who can support your wishes.

    Good luck

  13. #13

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    Hi Cricket,

    That nurse certainly bombarded you with a heap of ill-informed rubbish - good thing you've done your research and know your stuff. Almost everything she said is incorrect, how sad that she is so brainwashed. I talked to one experienced midwife about homebirth and she made the sign of the cross as if warding off the devil. But I knew enough not to be so easily intimidated, so I asked her why the concern, she said safety of course, I said, the stats show HB is safer - she agreed! She just pulled the little drama thing to try to put me off! So, stand your ground.

    There is a wonderful doula and homebirth movement in Canada. Have you heard of Connie Banack - she's an absolute darling. I think on the web you could find some empowered, informed and evidence-based (not fear/control-based) support for your cause.

    You go, girl! I had 3 homebirths, they were just the best experiences of my life. You deserve a homebirth - you can do it!

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