why we feel pain in labor and pain relief methods

[Taurean]

This thread has been incredibly inspiring and I'm even more determined than ever to birth my first child naturally. I watched Ricky Lake's documentary 'The Business of Being Born' last night and although I knew a lot already (much thanks to Belly Belly!) I found it incredibly interesting and feel I'm even more prepared to go natural.

I just find it so sad that something so natural is often viewed as 'crazy' and I'm sick of people judging me already and telling me I'm trying to be a 'hero' because I'm opting to TRY to birth naturally. I have nothing against the drugs at all and hey, I may just need them or other forms of intervention but my inital plan is to have faith in my body and just let it do what it was born to do. Why am I trying to be a 'hero' for feeling that way? I have no doubt it will be painful, I don't know that I will be able to handle the pain and I cannot predict what the birth will be like but I CAN make the call now to just TRY and go natural. And you know what, I'm sure I can do it

[sloane]

this thread is great - thank you to blue daisy & everyone else who's shared stories and/or info.

i felt quite calm about the thought of birth because both my mum & DP's mum are fairly pragmatic people who talk about their birthing experiences in an honest way that has always made me think positively about labour & birth. people do seem to want to share horror stories but this thread has helped to re-centre my thoughts

i've been hanging off from booking the classes through my hospital but almost feel like i should do them because this is our first & we don't really know what to expect - right down to neither of us having been in hospital before other than to visit people! i guess as long as we're armed with information then we can select what we take away from the classes, as others have suggested?

[prama]

ooh i had forgotten about this thread!! how your brain makes you forget!!
i read it all when i was expecting and thought of it all in a logical way. I read heaps and heaps but actual labour and birth was different.
reading thru the different stages now, gives me a different perspective, it all makes more sense since having gone thru it.

thanks heaps!!

[EmnM]

Well, since last reading this thread I have had another beautiful natural birth experience that still makes me get that far away look in my eyes and I wander off in bliss! Natural birth or 'normal' birth really, has the potential to be so empowering and wonderful for you, your baby and the whole family.

For those wondering about 'birthing/parenting classes' and what to do - some hospitals seems to do it better than others, depending on the background of midwives. For example, the hospital I went to 1st time was general public hospital and focused on pain management and where to park! The second time I went to a private hospital where most of the midwives came from a homebirth background and boy was it different and much more empowering. I also did a calmbirth course and a breastfeeding course prior to my second and the information presented was soooooo much more friendly to looking at the whole process.

I guess like all parts of the pregnancy and birthing continuum it is something one just has to research and find what you think will best suit the philosophy on birthing that you have. I know even the first time around I did ignore everything 'awful' and said, no this will not be for me and it wasn't. My first birth was wonderful too, my second was even better!

So, all the best and thankgoodness for wonderful positive threads like this that acknowledge that birth is so much more than a physical process - it is the spiritual journey of birth and connection with your baby from being inside you to being in your arms that is also so important.

Mich xx

[blackduckies]

Although this is all a bit late for me, (no more babies)it has raised a heap of questions??? My first birth I went through a private midwife for my classes plus she was there during my birth along with my mum and SIL, I wanted a natural drug free birth, including birthing the placenta without interference. I got it, drug free, birthed my placenta,no drugs, but there was no joyful bubs arriving, she was turned as she came out it was like someone screwed my insides around with her, no slithering out once her shoulders arrived, it was long painful and not at all the experince I had hoped for, she was blue, skinny, needed oxygen and suctioning, had an infection or got one??? and was sick for 2 weeks in hospital for the whole time. I find it distressing that even though I was mentally prepared and spent alot of time and money researching and doing everything I could to make it the best experience I could, I felt it as pain and agonizing at that. With an extended 3 hour pushing stage, even though I was definately wanting to push a completely uncontrolable urge...I would like to know why that is? I moved a lot, I showered, I stayed upright, I used visulization and breathing techniques. I did have a back labour and bubs was posterior, I kind of feel like there is something wrong with me that, I did'nt do something right to feel labour as such strong pain??? Yet I know others who are terrified of birth and go on to have quick and trouble free labours and birth.
BF was tough, I feed till she was 8 weeks when she started to lose weight, after taking scales home and weighing before and after feeds and watching her lose weight (on the advice of doc and MHN)I ended up comping, then she refused to BF a all, in the end I got PND, looking back I'm not really surprised, I had so many expectations and it did'nt turn out to be the joyous experince I had hoped for. If someone could explain to me what happened I would be eternally grateful, I feel really robbed.
not wanting to offend anyone, this thread has brought up so many unanswered questions for me, I have to ask.

[sunshine_sieben]

Blackduckies:

Well, sometimes things just don't work out the way they should. i know this is not going to be helpful at all. But it's like the person who always ate a healthy diet, did lots of exercise, never smoked or drank and dies of a heart attack at age 42. Sometimes, things are just out of our control. And that is a really difficult concept to grasp.

I am sorry you had such a hard time. But your bubba being posterior might have had a whole lot to do with it. I can guarantee you that there is nothing wrong with you. All we can do is try our best to set ourselves up for the kind of birth we want. After that, it's out of our hands. You ndid what you could.

I have a friend who tried her very best to avoid a posterior bub by using Optimal fetal positioning. She spent so much time on her hands and knees during the last month of pregnancy. she still ended up with a really really long labour because bubs just stayed posterior. Like you, she was so active during her labour, but bubs still could't turn.

By doing what you did, you can increase your chances of having a beautiful birth. But nothing you can do can guarantee you that tyype of birth experience.

I had a wonderful first birth. This time around, there is a chance I have Placenta Praevia and will need a c/s (will find out for sure next week). Although I will be disappointed if that really is the case, there is nothing I could have done to prevent this. I have the right mindset, i am educated, i have a great support team, but if my body just doesn't play along, there is nothing I can do about it.

How were your subsequent births?

All the best, Sasa

[EmnM]

Dear Blackduckies,

First of all, thanks for sharing - it sounds like you need to talk about your experience and if I was you I would feel the same - cheated/what happened/could I have done something differently?

I don't have a medical background so I can't comment from that perspective but
From what I have read posterior births are more difficult. I'm sure you know that though

I think too for first time labours nothing can quite prepare us for the reality of it and what our expectations can be. It sounds like from your story that your expectations were completely different from your reality. I imagine that is going to take a lot of sorting out emotionally for you and take some time.

This is your story, your experience and I hope you can be at peace with it at some stage - you have taken the unexpected path, one that was more difficult and painful than you expected emotionally and physically.

Healing from lifes experiences can be hard and painful, I have experiences too that I grapple to understand - 'why me'? This isn't what I wanted! Things that people can't really understand unless they walk in your shoes.

So, although I didn't have your experiences of labour, bf and beyond, I am more than able to at least listen and hear you.



Mich xx