Is your partner as well informed as you?

[sushee]

I remember when I was pg to Charlie, I was seriously concerned about the fact that my DH wasn't the least bit interested in birth choices, options or anything like that. He went to an antenatal class, and to my horror, 95% of the women there were having elective c/s so the class was mainly about pain options and c/s aftercare! I though OMG he's not going to support me in my vaginal birth!

I remember talking to the other mods at the time. I thought he would let me down when the time came, I wanted to hire a doula.

But he and I had a massive blue about it when I suggested it. He wanted to be my support person. But when I asked him to read up, he refused. He wanted to do it on his terms, and no, he didn't want a 'stranger' there usurping his place, even though that's NOT what a doula does. I was worried, and upset and I felt like he was being unreasonable, but didn't want to anger him further.

You know what though?

He was a an amazing support person. He deferred to me. He listened to what I had to say during labour. He agreed with my decisions, because he believed in me. He supported me every single step of the way and made me feel empowered.

And he was right, he didn't have to read and research to be that person. He just had be supportive in the way I needed him to be. And he was.

So ladies, don't assume that because someone doesn't know all the ins and outs of something, it means they can't be supportive. They can be.

And if they're not, no amount of reading and research may have changed that anyway.