Thank you for sharing
Much of what you said regarding your strength and personality really resonates with me, particularly how you felt it was a bad choice to not have a doula, and about how implicated agreements with your husband but them not understanding 'it' entirely. Don't want to say much more here but I think presenting your story in this reflective (rather than story telling) way is so definitely educational for others and a really thorough way of presenting the emotions that accompany expeirence not quite as they were expected.