Beautiful story, thank you so much for sharing I wrote a big post this morning but my computer ate it, so I'll give it another shot!
I could definitely relate to lots of aspects of your birth story... it was beautifully written. I'm so sorry you didn't get the homebirth you'd worked so hard for, but I'm also really proud of you for being able to be at peace with the decision to transfer, and glad that your doula and midwife were able to make your hospital birth as close to a home experience as possible They're not such bad places to birth, provided you have the right support team to help you out! I had laughter and tears reading your recount of Isla's entry into this big, wide world - I knew you'd do a fantastic job and it sounds like you and DH worked like a true team - you guys are just so meant to be I think crises of confidence are totally normal during labour, I'm so glad that you were able to overcome yours and find your focus again - it's a tough gig! Birthing is such an animal, instinctual process, it's good to let that side just take over and not analyse it all too much
There were lots of parts that I could definitely identify with when I recall Hayley's birth - oh, that wonderful, freeing gush at the end!! Best. Feeling. EVERRRR! I am so stoked that Isla's arrival was such a lovely experience for you despite the transfer You did great!

Oh, and sorry for raining on your parade that night when you texted me hahahaha, I should have known you knew what you were talking about but I went so overdue with Squirt that I just didn't want to get your hopes up in case it was a false alarm! I was soooo happy to wake up the next morning to your text message to tell me I'd been wrong Thanks again so much for sharing your story, it was wonderful to read! xx