I thought I would separate this post, but I wanted to say a few more things.
I ended up having an AMAZING hospital birth. Next time, the only thing I would do differently is make sure that I do give them my birth preferences so they don?t continually offer me 'unnatural' pain relief. I found the two midwives that I had for my care to be tremendous at upholding the meaning of 'with woman' - I never expected to have so much support from them, I was utterly amazed at how much time they spent with me.
I think I felt lost in the late stages of my labour because I had forgotten what the transition stage could bring, such as the early and premature need to push. I'm so glad I got my natural experience because now I know that I will know my body better for next time. I feel so proud, fulfilled and very accomplished, because I felt as though I could have birthed my baby on my own. I wish I had done a little more reading re: transition as mentioned above - but I almost did it myself anyway. There was no directed pushing right through transition and then second stage, I did it myself, iykwim.
The Sterile Water Injections were flipping excellent. But I also know that you have to break a fair few pain barriers before you have them or they will hurt more than you gain. For me, they were so worth it.
I no longer feel like I was defeated by the pain. Anthony discussed it with me extensively and he thinks that the rational side of me could handle the pain, the irrational, deliriously tired and high, off my face from not having slept with a sleeping pill side of me really did, just want to sleep. I think I could have managed better, if I had the energy to stand up. I really do no longer feel defeated by the my close brush with the epidural. Besides, I know I broke so many pain barriers first!
I was so loud they had to close the doors to the special care nursery (which adjoins to the birthing suites). I don't know why I was given so much crap about this? It's painful work, I did it without drugs - why do people think it is funny to ridicule me about noise when they could have praised me for the wonderful thing I did achieve?
On my waters breaking - What an unreal sensation!!! I never thought I would actually feel them pop.
I honestly don't remember how I felt when he was finally in my arms. I was overwhelmed with exhaustion and so relieved and amazed and the insta-feelings of love and adoration that overtook me within seconds. I was wishing so many things, like having wished i'd felt his head, wishing i'd kept my eyes open, but eventually the wet, slimy, grizzly bundle of love that was my adorable son made me realise that none of it mattered anymore and all i wanted to do was to hold my son and my Anthony.
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