Hi TT, I just finished reading your birth story. I can understand mourning the loss of a beautiful birth, I would feel traumatised too. It is interesting that you said there is always a challenge with each baby/pregnancy/birth. If only we could choose what that challenge is!

Hope you're adjusting, and starting to fall madly in love with the precious gift that you've been entrusted with. Hugs!

PS, have you ever read "Birthing from Within" ? It has some great advice on working through disappointment with birthing outcomes.