Friday morning I woke at around 2 am with more uncomfortable BH contractions. I tossed & turned in bed until a bit after 5, then gave up & got up. I went on Facebook & BB for a bit, and then started getting the kids ready for school.
I was still getting contractions but didn't want to get my hopes up too much - this had been going on for weeks & weeks. It wasn't until I stopped in the middle of sandwich prep & leaned over the kitchen bench that I thought hmmm... the kids asking 'are you ok mum?' & I replied though gritted teeth 'I'd better be in bloody labour, I'm not going through this for nothing!'
I had a hospital appt for monitoring at 10am that morning. I called DH & told him he'd better come home.. he asked if I was sure I was in labour and I replied nope but in any case, I can't drive like this! The kids left for school around 8 & I went to the toilet & there was a bloody show. I was so excited, in all my previous pregnancies & labours I had never had a show before! at that moment DH walked in the door & I told him I think this might be it. I timed my contractions on the way & they were about 5 minutes apart.
We arrived at hospital & I went to the antenatal monitoring room, got hooked up, sat down... and my contractions stopped.
And here came the tears again, I couldn't believe that after all that, it had stopped again! The midwife made me sit there for an hour and I had a few little tightenings, but nothing like I had experienced that morning.
When the hour was up DH had to leave; we had an appt at 11:30 to have a car capsule fitted (nothing like leaving things until after the last minute!) I figured I would go with him, but no; they wanted to keep me for a bit, 'Just in case you are in labour'. I figured if I had to stay I wasn't going to just sit there & wait, and once DH left I went for a walk.
Once I got moving, they started up again. I wandered around the hospital & made my way outside, where I made a couple of phone calls, breathed in some fresh air & walked a bit more. I called my friend M who was coming in as a support person & let her know it might be time to come in. Things started becoming quite uncomfortable then so I went back inside.
They had moved my things into the maternity ward. I hadn't been back inside long at all when DH arrived back, right as I was in the middle of a contraction; I was leaning over the bed, rocking & swaying my hips & I heard the midwife say to him quietly 'looks like this is the real thing!' I went to the toilet & had another show, and they decided to move me to the delivery suite.
We arrived at the delivery suite at around 1pm. My midwife immediately went to put the monitor on. 'I'm not having that thing on the whole time!' I said straight way. She replied 'let's just have a little look at what's happening & then we'll see.' I figured right, I'll give her half an hour - then I'm getting up again! As it happened I didn't get the option.
MW examined me & wowee - I was 9cm dilated already! I was over the moon, thinking this kid is going to be out any minute now! She then told us that because bub was still very high & my waters intact, I would have to hop up on the bed; she was concerned about the risk of cord prolapse. This wasn't a scenario any of us had considered, in all of my reading & preparation for my VBAC, I hadn't even thought about being bed-bound for some other reason. I didn't even know if it was necessary but I understood what a serious situation cord prolapse would be if it did happen; so on the bed I stayed.
So... there I was, 9cm dilated, contractions still 5 minutes apart, reclined on the bed with a monitor strapped to my waist. Not quite how I had pictured my VBAC! I was coping quite well with the contractions, whenever I felt one coming I would call for a hand and DH or M would be there, offering a hand for me to squish. I poured all of my focus into that hand until it eased, and in this way I got through almost my entire labour.
I wasn't allowed off the bed even to go to the toilet - MW thought the risk of my waters breaking & cord prolapse was too great, so a bed pan it was. I'm not sure if that was more of a PITA for me or her - seemed like she would leave the room & every 5 minutes we'd be calling her back because I needed to pee again
We asked MW a few times what happens next, and got the same answer each time... we wait, either for baby to descend, or your waters to break.
We had one contraction when bub's heart rate dipped, and took a few seconds to come back up. This caused a fair amount of anxiety, as we had gone through hours of this in my third labour before my CS. But it only happened the once; after an hour or so of anxiously watching the monitor I began to relax a bit again.
Apart from that, it seemed I spent my labour waiting... waiting.... contractions still 5 minutes apart... painful , but I was still coping really well. I felt a bit frustrated, because I thought if I had been up & moving, bub would have arrived hours ago, but on the other hand they didn't seem to worried about how long it was taking & there was no talk of a CS which was good.
Around 5pm they started to become quite a bit more uncomfortable. I was no longer just squeezing fingers; I was shifting on the bed, I really wanted to rotate my hips but it was so hard being reclined on the bed. Contractions were still 5 minutes apart but becoming steadily more uncomfortable and by 6:00 I was writhing and starting to get a bit noisy.
A bit after 6 I decided to use the gas, squeezing fingers & wriggling on the bed just wasn't cutting it anymore. I got through three contractions with the gas, and DH took a phone call from DD1. She had her competition the next day & I *should* have been home curling her hair; she was freaking out about what to do and he was trying to calm her down, when I had another contraction. M was there ready with her hand, when I felt enormous pressure; in one huge contraction, baby moved down the birth canal, I roared, my waters burst, and I yelled 'My waters broke!' (well, dur )
DH yelled to DD ' Can you hear that? That's your mother, I have to go!' and came to my side.
Things are a bit foggy after that.. I was pushing pretty much right from that moment , and I remember the MW reclined the head of the bed so that I was on my back... never my favourite position to be labouring in, let alone pushing but I was kind of out of it & didn't even think to object.
M had the camera and was at the foot of the bed, DH was at my head encouraging me, MW was down by the foot of the bed coaching me to push, push, push harder... and I was lying on my back, eyes shut tight, saying 'I can't, I can't!' I do distinctly remember saying to DH quietly at one point 'I cannot do this. She's not coming out!'
But I was doing it, and come out she did... I felt her head come out, and MW had my legs bent & shoved hard up as far as they would go (I think they had been that way for a bit).
I very clearly recall MW taking my baby, and twisting & pulling... I almost want to say wrenching... I yelled, and my daughter was born.
She was placed straight onto my tummy, as far as they could get her with a very short cord; she couldn't quite reach my breasts. And she lay there and squalled, and i cried tears of happiness and relief and joy.
After a while the cord stopped pulsating and was cut, and we discussed her size... a new MW was with us (had come in during second stage) and wanted to know how big were my other babies? I told her my largest was 9lb13 / 4410g. 'She's not that big I don't think,' said the MW, and I agreed, no she's a delicate, pretty looking little thing.
She was eventually lifted onto the scales and MW did a double take & said 'Uh, I need to weigh her again...' no mistake, my delicate little baby girl weighed 10lb8, or 4710g! I suffered a pretty good tear, and Pie had her first breastfeed while I was being stitched up.
Arlea Rose was born at 6:31pm, gestation 41+3, after how many hours of labour, who knows... weeks of pre-labour, 14 hours from first niggles, roughly 7 or so hours of established labour and 5 hours of laying-on-my-back-labour... nothing about her has been to plan, not her conception, the labour & birth, first days, or feeding.. but she has taught me to embrace every little bit of this particular parenting journey for what it is, not what I want it to be. She has come and changed our lives in such a magical way and I am so privileged to be her mother.
And if you made it all the way through that, give yourself a pat on the back and thanks for sharing it with me.
oh that was gorgeous
It makes me so clucky and I want to be giving birth again. It hurts like nothing else but man it is such an amazing empowering experience isnt it???
Well done you write so beautifully
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