Well done Mel,
That was a great read. So honest.

I'm not particularly proud of the way that I acted during labour, I wish I had kept more control of my fear, but the rupture element was quite strong, and took over a few times. If I had my time again, I would have not gone with the fear option and had more faith in my ability to do it.
I totally relate to what you said about wanting to do things differently if you could do it again. There are things I would do differently if there was a 'next time' too and just for that reason I would like to go again (not that my DH wants anymore).
You should try to be proud of your labour because that was the way you got through it (drug free!!!!) to birth your baby girl. The fear factor is a very big issue and you coped the best that you could to get the job done. For that I say well done!!
Your DH and midwife did a fantastic job supporting you and getting your head back in the game when things got too much. It definatley goes to show how important the right support is when it comes to VBA2Cing and VBAC in general.

Enjoy your baby girl Eden (love the name), the time just flies!!