My Blessingway

Saturday the 7th of August 2010.

After much self discussion I decided I would like to have a blessingway to help gain support and encouragement for my upcoming birth. Since the loss of Banjo last year I have had trouble accepting that I am really going to have a baby and preparations have been slow for the birth and newborn period.

The blessingway is awesome! We have lunch together, share some time together as women sitting around making beads, I accept some wonderful blessing from my community of birthing women while DD#1 decorates my baby belly with henna. I barely want the day to end, but when it does I am exhausted!

First night of pre-labour 7 – 8 Aug

So after an exhaustingly exhilarating day I sit and watch a great game of football then off to bed for snuggles with Wato and some sleep. However the sleep is broken by many hours of pre-labour contractions that stop when I rise. They feel really good, but I am tired the next day because the contractions got me excited and the chance of sleep was next to nothing.

Second night of pre labour contractions 9 – 10 Aug

Much the same as the first night with a very tired mummy at the end of it. I had pre-labour contractions with Violet but not like this, With Violet they would start in the very early hours of the morning and stop when I needed to go to sleep. This time they last from about 11:30 at night, stop when I get up and start again when I lay down, continuing while I sleep.

Third night of pre-labour 11 -12 Aug.
had contractions all night, since about 11.30. Stopped when i got up for 45 mins at 3am. Started when i went back to bed even continued when i went to sleep. Up at 7am and they stopped.

Fourth night of Pre-labour 13-14th

39 weeks today! Didn't get much sleep l tried my hardest (I am a ****ty sleeper anyway) but two little'us decided 4:45 was a good time to wake and one decided she didn't want to go back to sleep. DP was whistling through his nose and I cracked it and went to the couch when DD#4 thought she would try and join me. I told her to get her pillow and hop into my bed, she gets her pillow and wants on the couch with me. DP comes and gets her, I think to put her in with him, but he puts her in her own bed.... so I go and get her cause she is crying and put her on the couch with me... very cozy... NOT! The whole time I am cursing DP telling him he is selfish etc. All the while I am having irregular contractions that got less regular with all the ups and downs. They were getting a bit of a bite to them too. So after I settled down they continued but not like they were when I was calm. Lost a bit of my plug too... no show though.

Fifth night of pre-labour 14-15th Aug

Another night full of contractions... I learned just to try and ignore them and get more rest. I only had pre-labour like this with my 3rd and even then it wasn't to this extent. It's my brothers birthday tomorrow, he died in 1999 so what a wonderful tribute if bub decides to be born then

16th of August (39w 2d)

8:42am. Had very nice 10 minutes contractions for the majority of the night.... had to really concentrate on them... still pretty far apart though. When I got up at about 7 I had a nice show, but no contractions, just very crampy. It was weird, because if I went to bed to lay down contractions start again, if I stood the intervals increased...?

Spent most of the day trying to get contractions going, they only thing that really worked was going back to bed, so on a few occasions I nicked off to bed for a lay down and even got a few naps in while contractions slowly came and went. I knew birth would be that day due to the amount of show I got each time I went to the toilet. There were a few occasion where I used nipple stimulation to get the contractions going and it wasn’t until I went for a lay down after lunch that these two activities started something really happening. I eventually had to sit up in bed and rock through the next few contractions. DD#2 (who is 6) comes in to see me and I tell her to tell Dad to get the pool ready.

After a few more minutes I get up and let my community know that things were happening and hope that the contractions don’t disappear like they have throughout the day. They don’t disappear, but they are still very irregular, but having them not peter off was a good sign. DP and the three youngest hop into the pool while it is filling for a bit of a swim while I fuss about and put on my birthing necklace was made during my blessingway. The pool was only about a quarter full when the hot water ran out! We have NEVER run out of water before. I go out to the hot water system and crank it up to full while there I have a nice big contraction.

Eventually I decide to hop into the pool with the three little’uns, even though it wasn’t very full it was nice and it wouldn’t be long before the water was hot again and the pool was full. The kids become a bit boisterous and the contractions are getting more serious so they have to hop out because they are making me lose concentration that the contractions are demanding from me. So the TV is put on for them, which entertains them for a short while. DD#1 is sitting by the pool taking photos, DD#2 is very impatient and keeps asking when the baby is coming, DD#3 just wants to sit and watch me DD#4 has no real clue as to what is going on and has a few tantrums which were a little distracting, bit in all they were really good and very eager to welcome their new brother or sister.

DP hops into the pool with me and massages my back with each contraction as I lean on the side of the pool, they are quite long now but take a long time to peak and are quite handsomely spaced apart which I am thankful for. DP hops out and I recline in the water floating with my big belly, I can feel baby squirming around and at times his movements are quite painful. I soon feel nauseous and I ask for something to vomit in so DD#1 trots off to find me a bucket. After emptying my stomach I am hopeful this means things have progressed, but after a bit of a self examination it seems things are not as far as I would have thought.

I float around in the pool for a while longer really relaxing and enjoying my labour, this seems to really help labour progress and when the contractions come they are very intense. I find myself on the other side of the pool facing some of the kitchen cupboards, this is where things really get serious. I have a feel of what is going on and I can feel my baby’s head just inside my vagina but I still have some dilating to do but my water are beginning to bulge quite a bit.
DP tried to help by rubbing my back but I quite swiftly tell him not to touch me I also remember growling at him for hopping into the pool while I was contracting, every noise, every touch or movement is irritating as the intensity of the contractions increases.
I lean my head on the side of the pool and find myself singing through the contractions while I rock from side to side. I think about how different I am behaving in the pool at home as adverse to in the hospital with strangers. I always said I was a quiet labourer but now I feel free and comfortable, surrounded by only family and in my own environment.... I begin to “sing” quite loudly through my contractions getting louder as my contractions peak. During my birth song I recall a friend sharing her labour with me and explaining to me afterwards that she and her husband share moments during her labour where he encourages her to keep her singing low, to help keep her relaxed, I found this very helpful for me not to succumb to the wave’s peaks when they hit. That all sounds very romantic, but I just wanted the contractions to end I remember reminding myself that it would very soon, but when they come they seem to last forever and I have a few moments where I tense up and cry.

After only a few of these intense contractions I feel again where my body and baby are at and I can feel quite clearly that I am fully dilated and my baby is ready to meet me. I ask DD#1 what the time is and she tells me it’s 6:30(pm). Part way through one of the next contractions my body instinctively bears down. The next contraction is just one big push during which I reach down to feel what is going on and I can feel the sac bulging out of my vagina and after the contraction peaked my membranes exploded. DP could feel them break and he said the water rippled as a result. I recall saying that it felt much better after the rupture.

I am now very excited, I know that labour is almost at an end and because it seems very intense I am eager to end it and meet my new baby. I know that my baby is very close and call to the children and they excitedly race to the poolside (all except for DD#3 who was already there and DD#1 who was still taking photos). With the next contraction I bear down with intensity I know that this will result in the birth of my baby’s head but I don’t stop even though it was my intention to breathe baby out. I welcome my baby by feeling the head as it emerges. I say that the baby’s head is coming and DP is eager to help out. After the birth of bub’s head DP asks what is supposed to do and he feels for baby’s head. When he finds it I hear him say, I can feel a nose! I also have a bit of a feel between contractions and then get ready to birth the rest of my baby. When it comes I bear down again and feel bub slide out but need to give another small push to birth the rest of the baby’s body. I quickly turn around in time to see DP lift our baby out of the water, DD#1 checks the time and it’s 6:28 (when she told me the time earlier she rounded it up to 6:30 but it was a few minutes before so 2nd stage only lasted a minute or so). DP has hold of the baby with bub facing toward the bottom of the pool with one hand around the chest and one around the groin. As soon as DP lifts bub out of the water we know that everything is fine and this little one has a good set of lungs. DP turns bub over and DD#2 says, ‘is it a boy or a girl?’ DP removes his hand and we both say, ‘IT’S A BOY!’ We look at each other in almost disbelief and I said, ’we did it!’ I can hardly believe after four girls that I have birthed a boy!! I look at DD#1 and she has tears in her eyes. DP hands him to me and he welcomes me by peeing on me which I didn’t mind one bit. I just can’t believe how beautiful he is and I continually say this to DP. He is still screaming and I feel a little paranoid that he will get cold so DD#3 gets him a hat (this is something we organised a few days before and it was her ‘job’) I also lay a washer on him. DP calls his mother and tells her she has a grandson, she doesn’t believe him and thinks it’s DD#4 screaming in the background. I try putting him onto the breast which he takes for a very short while and I am very happy that he did considering with two of my births I had a bit of bleeding. For a short while the 3 youngest hop in the pool with us and we all begin to get to know our newest member of the family.

I feel the cord on a few occasions to check if it’s still pulsing and just to observe it out of curiosity and the girls are very curious about it too. They feel it and ask lots of questions about it. After the baby finishes suckling and begins screaming again I find I am eager to get out of the pool. We tie the cord with the tie I had made and cut it so I can pass the baby over while I get out of the pool. Soon after I get out I birth the placenta about 30 minutes after the birth of the baby. I stood there for a bit trying to clean myself up so I didn’t get blood everywhere then went to have a shower. When I get back I have a look at the placenta and notice a big clot on the maternal side, I have a feel of the placenta and it’s a bit gritty and seems a little fragile. I soon put in a bag and into the freezer for burial later.

We put bub on the scale and he screamed the house down but eventually we got a weight of 4080g (or 9lb exactly) we measured him later and he was about 55cm with a head of 37cm. It wasn’t until the next day we discussed names and DP and I agreed on Odin Bryan and later we added Craig to honour my brother for whom he shares a birthday 32 years apart.

When it came to bed time DP slept on the couch leaving me to bond with our new baby in our bed. When the sun rose I found little people creeping into my bedroom to see their new brother, this continued every morning and now almost two months later it still happens on occasions, with DD#3 the biggest culprit, she still cannot get enough of her favourite little brother.