carrie i had no idea your first was so traumatic, and how liberating it must have been to turn it around. amazing what we can do when we're armed with a bit of knowledge and experience. even if the experience is bad it still gives us fuel to get where we want to go. i could imagine you standing there leaning on yr mum and husband and pushing. and laughed at you getting out of the car, despite your nest. it was nice reading a birth story of someone i know- although we've never met in 3d.

reading your story totally took me back to mylo's birth. your insights were spot on too-its true - the longer we're in hospital the more chance of interventions. you've got me thinking- applying that knowledge to my own experiences, perhaps i'd wantto consider a home birth too next time. after all, i got thru relatively unscathed this time, thanks to my body knowing what to do, and me insisting on no interventions/drugs etc. i laboured happily at home for 6 hours and arrived at hospital shortly before transitioning, resisted for ages until eventually someone talked me into pushing,(if i'd had a doula or someone helpful it would have been better) then pushed for an hour and got him out all by myself! all up 9 hours, only 3 were really bad, and only small 1st degree tears that didn't need a stitch, or so i was told. i was up and about, utterly suprised at my instant recovery (especially compared to my horror story first birth).

but as i was in hospital, inevitably a doctor (male) came along who decided to intervene to stop me bleeding. there follows 3 hours of screaming crying pleading threatening- pain as bad as birthing. and i was strapped down in humiliating position which just compounded the agony. if i was at home, i would have bled alot, but would have been spared that last part. only pure hate for that doctor got me thru. in fact, i burst into tears when i heard him say to dh that he had twin girls at home, because it humanised him and i couldn't hate him anymore. but i digress. essentially i agree with your assessment about surrounding yourself with the right people to advocate for you, and avoiding as much as possible being sucked into the machine of medical procedures.

thanks for sharing gabes birth- amazing story of triumph over adversity!