What a masterful recount m'dear!! I am still wincing at the Hand of Pain and am glad my ob has girly bits so she can at least empathise if she has to stick her hand up my jacksy ROFL... I really hope getting this out has made you feel even better 'cos you've told it with such panache. And next time WILL be different - except for the same outcome of gorgeous healthy baby, of course!The staff really did sound a bit Monty Python even before you mentioned the machine that went Ping!!