If there is one thing I have learnt from this experience - is that I can't experience it again...

After labouring all night at home, we woke the kids at around 4:30am to take me to the hospital. We got there around 5:30am and they checked my dilation (same midwife - I was stoked) and I was only 5cms. Feeling a little deflated at being told that I said I would go walk around a bit. So i went back to DH and the kids and we went looking for the canteen. Needless to say - Gosford Hospital needs a map!

We finally found it at 7:30.. and thats when I knew my waters had broken. I was moving into transition and I lost the plot completely. I screamed through a couple of contractions down there and then begged DH to take me back to the birthing suite. I needed something. I was not coping - I didn't feel like I could do it at all. We had spent over an hour searching for the canteen and it ended up being two floors under the delivery suite so it was a simple case of jumping into the elevator and taking me back up.

Soon as I got up there they helped me back to the delivery room and there was a doctor in there waiting to put my canula in. I wouldn't let him anywhere near me with the pain I was in so the middie found some toys for the kids and DH and Harry came in to try and calm me down. I managed to sit still through three attempts at getting it in DURING transition - by which time DH was losing patience with the guy because he was scared of my syncope and this ending up in an emergency CS because of it. The doctor then gave up on the left hand and came around to the right hand where I distinctly remember telling him to "get the **** away from me". Poor doc. Was just trying to help.

It was at this point in time that the next contraction was it. Once the head was out they told me to stop and breathe so I didn't tear but the pain was too much and I kept pushing. She came out all at once. By this point in time I was screaming through the contractions. I think I asked them to knock me out at one point, LMAO! I ended up using gas because they set it up for me for the canula insertion.

So that was it. Phoebe was born and I grabbed hold of her and wouldnt let go. My last little baby because I simply can't put myself through that again. It was without doubt one of the hardest labours I can remember and I was so scared at the end that I am surprised I did it.

I took the Synto in the leg because they couldnt get the canula in and let them manage the third stage because I needed it over with. Then I couldnt wee and it took some time before we could manage the bleeding. Once I emptied the bladder we got it back under control. I was released 4 hours later, still feeling very weak and baby and I went to bed as soon as we got home.

Feeling much better now and enjoying my little Phoebe, who is very bright and alert!