As I was overdue with my son, born via a long and traumatic induction at 41+3d, my obstetrician was not happy about letting this second pregnancy go on as long, especially since my son got stuck, caused the cervix to swell rather than dilate, and very nearly ended up being birthed by emergency c-section. This time, my baby was showing to be average size until the last few weeks when a growth spurt showed it was likely she would be just as big as her brother, if not, bigger.

I was terrified of being induced again as the pain of the syntocin contractions one on top of the other was still very clear in my memory as I had tried to have my son without pain relief, using just deep breathing and hypnobirthing techniques until several hours in I was told to have an epidural to have a chance at a vaginal birth or risk an emergency c-section under general. However, I tried to stay positive throughout the pregnancy telling myself it didn't have to turn out the same way and being a second child, it was more likely to come on it's own and I wouldn't need syntocin.

When labour hadn't started on it's own by my due date (despite losing my plug and having some serious regular contractions the week prior to her birth) an induction was scheduled for Friday 19th December, 5 days overdue. I was dissapointed to say the least, however still was hoping that gels alone would be enough, or maybe breaking the waters would set me off on my own since my body now knew what to do. The sight of the mucus plug was a promising sign as were lots of braxton hicks contractions, neither of which I had experienced with my first pregnancy. I went in for a stretch and sweep on the Tuesday before the Friday induction date, and was devastated to find that the ob couldn't perform one as the cervix was tightly closed - more closed than the same stage with my first pregnancy. It had been a mighty painful internal too so I felt like the pain had been all for nothing. All that evening though I got pains in my cervix and I found I couldn't walk too much without it hurting so perhaps it did something.

I went in on the Thursday night to have gel tape applied. I felt uncomfortable laying in the bed for monitoring as I hated laying on my back, but tried to be positive thinking I'd be holding my baby by that time the next night. They showed me to my room at about 11pm and DH went home, leaving me to try and sleep. Sleep just wouldn't ahppen - the bed was attrociously hard, I was anxious about the induction and the noise of the nurses buzzer and babies crying kept me awake for most of the night. I ended up turning on my light and sewing down the binding on my baby quilt, which I had brought with me to help tire my eyes if insomnia hit. IU think I might have managed about 3hrs sleep in less than 1hr chunks when I woke at 5:30 and couldn't get back to sleep.

I was taken to the labour ward at 7am to be monitored and wait for the obstetrician to arrive at 8 for an internal and to break the waters. DH was meant to be there for that too, but he didn't make it until closer to 9, after she had been. I gushed a lot of fluid so I started thinking that maybe the baby was a nice easy size after all, and went walking in the gardens with DH, regularly coming back to the room for pad changes as I'd leak through withing just a few minutes. Within an hour I had a show. I gave up walking after a few pad changes and felt the contractions starting to get strong and regular by 10:30am (when the midwife signified labour had started), so I stayed in the room from then on. I couldn't stand laying down and wanted to avoid the bed as much as possible, having been confined to it with DS. So the fit ball was called for and for every contraction I sat and rolled around on the ball, and sometimes bounced a little bit to try and get bub to move down. I paced the room between contractions, but had to sit as soon as the next one hit as bub was posterior and gave me horrid sciatic pain all down my right leg to my toes, which was worse when standing. The midwife was so positive, telling me that she was sure my labouring was doing something and guessing at how much dilation would have happened given the way I was labouring and the way the contractions were going. She even got the delivery tray ready and prepped the crib for the baby telling me that I should take that as a good sign that she believed I was nearly ready to give birth.

The obstetrician was busy with another patient who was at the pushing stage so didn't get to me until 2:30pm. I was happy with that as I knew that while she stayed occupied, she couldn't order the syntocin for me! WHen she checked me though and told me I was still only 2cm, and needed syntocin as bubs was still nowhere near engaged and contractions were not close enough together. I felt so deflated, having been proud of how well I was coping with active labour and no pain relief just as I'd hoped for with DS. I started to cry thinking that the whole labour was going to turn out like DS's. The ob told me she thought I just needed a tiny bit of synto, and not to worry, but that's what she told me with DS and back then, the synto kept getting increased and increased and still nothing was happening. When she left the midwife told me she was sure the ob had guestimated wrongly, as she was sure my contractions had done something. The midwife left for a few minutes and DH and I were alone, leaving me time to refocus. DH gave me a hug and told me I was doing really well and it didn't matter, things weren't necessarily going to be the same as last time. I looked at him and told him he was right, wiiped my tears away and decided that nothing mattered as long as the baby came out healthy this time (DS had agpars of 2 and 3 and was whisked to scn after 15hrs of labour).

I found the drip really stopped me from walking around as much but they used wireless monitor pads so I wasn't restricted to the bed, which I was greatful for since I couldn't lay down. Any semireclined position really hurt my back and leg, I wanted to be as upright as possible, even leaning forwadr was better than leaning back. By 3:30pm I started being sick. The contractions were stronger but no closer together like the ob had wanted and I was sure the ob would order a higher dose of synto. I was only just bearing the contractions so told the midwife to order the epi - I had tried the lesser forms of pain relief with DS and still had to have the epi so didn't want to muck around this time. She told me that the sickness and the way I felt I couldn't cope was likely to be transition. I replied straight away that it wasn't, just the way my body handles synto as it happened last time, I had even felt the urge to push after synto last time, but there had been no progress. She called the ob who checked me and said I had dilated 5cm in just an hour and she wasn't sure that there was enough time for the epi, but call him anyway. She got me to use the gas for one contraction while I waited for the epi, but it completely knocked me out so she told them not to let me have it again as I was too relaxed! It hadn't worked at all with DS. Then she was off to a hair appointment and had jokingly said to me she wouldn't manage to get her hair cut as I'd be ready to push at 4pm, just because she had an appointment. Since the pushing stage had been super fast with DS and she nearly didn't make it, she told me to tell the midwife immediately if there was any "bottom pressure".

At about ten minutes to 4, I called out "Bottom pressure" in the midst of a killer contraction, so they called the ob back, who had only just got to the appointment with her three children and had to call her husband to come and look after them! She was glad it wasn't ten minutes later as she had feared she would only get her hair half cut!

With no time for the epi, I started to get scared about how the pushing would feel but I needn't have been worried. I found the pushing took the pain out of the contractions, probably because it gave me something else to focus on. The burning and stinging I was expecting was more a feeling of relief. I was so exhausted though from lack of sleep and being so active that the pushing was physically harder than it was for DS and took about 30-45mins ratherr than the two pushes it took to deliver my son. The cord was around her neck though (just as it had been with DS - but his was around twice) so we were a bit scared.

When she arrived she was taken straight over to the table to be rubbed etc. and have oxygen. DS had been handed straight to me and then whisked off when they realised something was wrong with him. So we watched the table in silence waiting for that cry that never came with DS until he was far away from me in SCN. Sure enough it came and she turned a nice bright pink. All of a sudden it hit me - I had had a natural birth, just as I had planned for DS (made no plans this time after having them all destroyed last time) and she was a very healthy baby able to room in with me! No tears or grazes, and a beautiful little girl. Very empowering!

We called the inlaws to bring in DS who saw her at only an hour old but we wouldn't let anyone hold her other than DH and I as we thought she was too "new". She kept me awake all night sucking, and I reluctantly let the midwives take her for 2hrs after lots of time spent trying to convince me so I could sleep. I was just so happy to have her with me, I didn't want to let her go.