On Mon Jan 16th (39w4d) in the morning I noticed spotting. Went for CTG monitoring, turns out it was the start of my show.

Wed 18th at 2am (39w6d) started feeling mild contractions which continued throughout the day, becoming regular 10min apart and 30-45sec duration by afternoon. In the evening they slowed down to 15-20mins and continued throughout the night, waking me up with each one as they were ouchie ones.

On Thu 19th (40w) contractions finally picked up and became regular 5mins apart and 45-60secs duration so headed off to hospital at 9pm. Was measured at 4cm dilated at 10pm so was left to labour away in the birth suite. Contractions became 3min apart and despite having diligently trained with hypnobirthing for the previous 8w quickly found the pain of contractions more than I could breathe through so requested gas at 11.30pm. Gas started off working really well, didn’t make me sick and was having me giggly and merry, much to DH’s delight. After 45 more minutes I found the pain even through the gas to be a bit much, so hopped into bath with a portable gas canister – my trusty new friend. I figured out that I could take the gas continuously so as to avoid the 20s it took to kick in with each contraction. I became as high as a kite and DH got the midwife as my behaviour started to get strange and the pain was getting worse.

…from 12.45am (now Fri 20th) until 7am is a blur for me, with awful flashbacks of terrible pain (like I was being repeatedly stabbed in my lower left tummy) and psychadelic “Groundhog Day” de ja vu experiences whereby in a dreamlike state I look at the clock, then to DH who takes my gas tube away and tries to reassure me, then the inevitable awful pain and me grabbing the gas but getting no relief. Then the scene replays over and over, with the clock advancing ever so slowly and variations of the scene including having several midwives in the room, plus an anaesthetist, and having medical procedures performed on me, being told I was not dilating and me freaking out, of many episodes of blood-curdling screaming (full horror-movie style that if you hear it you think someone is being tortured and murdered) that emanated from me, only I seemed to be an observer watching through some drugged haze. DH found those hours extremely disturbing and traumatic. He’s told me what happened (yes my recollections were true but my behaviour was even more disturbing and there is much that happened that I simply don’t remember). He doesn’t want to share all details, but the overview is that I requested an epidural early on, as I was screaming through my contractions (the gas made me psychotic and non-responsive). Initially the midwife said it was too early but my pain and behaviour quickly changed his mind. The first epidural didn’t stop the pain, so I was given a second one, during which I was so combative that the anaesthetist had to be convinced by the midwives to continue. I contracted strongly but the pain (of bubs head and shoulder ramming me as he was in the wrong position) caused my body to work against itself so I didn’t dilate beyond 4cm all night. At one point DH had to leave the hospital and clear his head as he was so upset and disturbed by the pain I was in and my psychotic behaviour. Finally the second epidural worked and I fell asleep.

When I woke at 7am I felt trashed but sane again. The OBS was called in to break my waters and get me on the Syntocinon drip in a bid to get me dilating, otherwise I was heading for a c/s. At 8.30am my waters were broken and had meconium so a paed had to be present at the birth. My second epidural was heavy duty so I had a great morning, not really feeling any contractions. At 12.30pm I was found to be fully dilated so the epidural was mostly stopped so I would feel the urge to push. At 1.15pm I started pushing.

After 1hr20mins of good pushing Miles made his grand entry at 2.35pm, weighing 3.53kg and his head circumference 36cm, apgars of 9 and 9. He was declared healthy by the paed but when his temp was taken it was found to be raised and he had also aspirated some meconium so he was put in the special care nursery. I was unable to B/F that day as he was tired and dehydrated but he got the all-clear the next day and I got my gorgeous boy back. I required over 30 stitches for several 2nd degree tears (ouch!) but it really pales into insignificance when I gaze at my baby.