I agreed to having my waters broken at 8am on Wednesday the 13th march as at my routine clinic appt I was told my cervix was dilated to 3-4cm and very favorable.
The night before I didn't get to bed till 11pm, and i cried for 20 minutes after getting into it as I was in so much pain. (My pubic bone and hips were causing me lots of issues) dh (jamie) assured me it would all be over soon. I knew he was right but I just wanted to not be so broken
We arrive at the hospital at 8am, nervous, smiling. Ds2 (ollie) was asleep when i left and it broke my heart that the next time he saw me id have two new babies needing my constant attention.
At 8:40 Jeremy the registra who had checked me yesterday, broke my waters and it was nice and clear. i found out Amanda Dennis was on, I was relieved as she had done the first half of my ante natal care so i knew she knew me and I felt I knew her to an extent.
My closest friends headed to my place to walk the halls waiting. (My sister was still there at this stage as she had flown down from vic and spent two weeks waiting for the babies... but she flies home that arvo for our brothers wedding) Ollie was being entertained and the older two were at school. (And everyone managed to clean my house and stock my pantry with yummy snacks)
I started with a shower and then was bouncing on the fit ball. Nothing was happening.
I had a twinge every now and then but it was hardly something id class as a pain or contraction.
At 11am I was still bouncing and listening to music (Jamie didn't like my choices lol) and gushing fluid every so often (how much was in there!!) I was bored and impatient. I knew now my sister Brooke would not be meeting her nephews and i was crushed for her. I was getting irritated at being cooped up in the hospital with nothing happening
At 12 they told me the doc would be in after lunch to discuss the drip. At this point my morale dropped and I said to the girls at home "I just want to cut out the middle man and take the ceaser that's where this is headed anyway"
I was tired. I felt betrayed by my body. It knows what to do, it was almost doing it... why wont it just kick into gear!
I decided I would get an internal in an hour and if there is any change in my cervix i would keep waiting, if not id agree to the drip, nice and low and going up very slowly.
At 2pm Jeremy came in and said its time for the drip. I asked for a check, and he said there was no change, so reluctantly we agreed to the drip.
At 2:30 they came to put my cannula in. i felt so so small. I bawled as they put the needle in. The guy doing it was very rough and I already felt so vulnerable. Jamie held me and I just cried my heart out. this was not supposed to be happening. My babies should be out by now. I don't want the drip. I don't want fake contractions squashing my poor babies.
by 3pm I'm strapped to the bed with my drip (on 6 and being upped by 6 every half hour) and my ctg monitors. 
after 45 minutes im tired and emotionally drained and i stop chatting to the girls at home and zone out.
At 4:45 I ask for a toilet break. I stay on the drip but im released from the monitors and get off the bed. I walk and bounce for a bit.
6pm i am tired and feel very out of control. Still no contractions. Feeling very home sick and missing the kids. Ollie is going to have his first night without Jamie or me and im sad for him
Lots of crying.
6:45 i start asking for a ceaser. Im feeling so out of my comfort zone I just want it all over
7:15 demand to see Jeremy and I ask for synto to be turned off. I am done. I don't want the drip any more. im sore (pelvis and hips) and exhausted and I just want to give in. I beg for a ceaser. he isnt very nice and basically tells me to stop whinging and stay on the drip another 6 hours. he agrees to have to drip turned off. I feel cloudy and ****. STILL NO CONTRACTIONS! I tell them to label me failure to progress. Jeremy tells me i cant be failure to progress until im in labor and im not anywhere near labor. He goes on about how with 2 head down babies and 3 vaginal births before im better off going vaginal. He says I have to have the drip back on as now my waters are gone they have to get the babies out. (This is why I didnt want to have waters broken and go on the clock but he told me I was so favorable id basically have them out by lunch with no need for synto)
After laying down for so long my pelvis is all seized up and I can hardly move. i dont want to labor like this. my pelvis is killing me and i dont even have any contractions, im super tired and im not even IN labor yet!
at 8pm I find out my notes say im 2cm and not ripe at all. i feel tricked.
Jeremy tells me they will put me on the ceaser list, but ill always be on the bottom of the list as im not ever going to be a priority as im not in labor. (so sick of being told this, i know, my body is not co-operating... i know!!)
8:30 Amanda comes in. She sits on the bed, instead of talking at me from the door way like jeremy, She knows im tired, she knows I miss my kids. She tells me that a ceaser means ill be stuck in hospital for days. that if the babies dont get squeezed out through the birth canal they might need breathing assistance. She said do i really want to be faced with fighting for a vbac down the track if we go again (is she crazy... again??)
She knows I can do this, but as im hardly dilated it will take more work from the synto. She suggests I try an epi to get rid of the pelvic pain and go back on the synto and rest till labor starts. She gives us some time to think about it and leaves us to it.
We agree. I need to rest and regroup. The epi will knock out my pelvis pain and I can hopefully relax into labor. Im so wound up im blocking my own contractions
10:45 epi goes in. My bp crashes to a scary 79/40 and the tip the bed head down and pump me full of ephedrine. Im laying there feeling so scared. I think i could die. im so so tired i can hardly stay away. i feel sick. Jamie is right next to me holding my hand. he doesn't look scared but i can tell he is. they get my bp back up but being head down causes the epi to ride up. Then Baby B starts to have a sky rocketing heart rate. hitting 197. We are warned if they cant get it to settle down ill be ceasered. After more fluids his heart rate stabilises and we are back on track.
I have the shakes and im itchy all over. 
I feel warm and fuzzy and like i have pins and needles. its not nice at all
12am synto back on, babies wont have the cool 13/03/13 bday Synto going up every 15 mins.
4:30 I get a VE and im 3-4cm... Which is what i thought i was at the freaking start!! Im so very upset and so very deflated. I hate myself. the babies clearly aren't ready. I am forcing them out. I cry and sink into my own pity party. starting to have stronger contractions on monitor though.
4:50 Offered an epi top up, as I can feel pressure. I refuse to feel anything when im not even in actual labor yet!! I do not want to be feeling pain that isnt doing anything! 
5:15 anesthesitist checks and epi had worn off my left leg, but even after a top up i still feel the pain/pressure. they tell me they will add more in 15, but dont want me crashing again.
5:30 they decide the pain im telling them about is a bit unusual and decide to give me another VE, doctor is busy so the midwife does it. she smiles as she looks up from between my legs and says "you're done" Jamie and I just stare at her... "like fully dilated done" says Jamie... "like pushing done?" I ask... YES!!!!
In the room we have Amanda, the two midwives and a pead. Less than we thought!
I exclaim how wrong it feels to be pushing on my back. i have good movement in my legs but have to hold my tummy to know when im contracting. i use the handles on the side of the bed to give me resistance.
A bit of pushing and out comes Ethan James at 6:07am. Skin on skin cuddles. then after 5 mins he is moved over to resus table for apgars and then jamie gets him. 
Baby b is coming down right away. a quick VE shows he is still head down and membranes are bulging. im pushing as much as I can (with the freshly topped epi... yuk!) but the membranes wont break (very normal for me, i have super waters lol) I ask if they can break them for me.
The midwife is down there and she said as long of we can be sure the head is nice and low, so she does another internal and says yes thats the head right there... and my waters break on their own!
Im told Baby B isnt as happy as his brother and his heart rate is dropping with the pushing, im encouraged to just push
the midwife takes a look... "i see the head!.... and a hand! and a CORD>>>> AMANDA!?!"
Amanda takes over and in a calm fashion she tells me to keep pushing, he needs to come out now, she slips the cord back in and i push him out with every bit of my being.
Chase David is here, 6:27am. they leave his cord flowing for a bit but eventually decide he isnt pinking up fast enough and sounds a little wet, so they take him to do his apgars. The whole time they are trying to describe that Chase has a "defect" on his head. i dont want to hear it and im not sure i understand what they are saying. It is in effect a birth mark, but now was not the time to be trying to tell me this!
shortly after I get to have cuddles with both and a little nuzzle at he boob. we get some pic and then i ask they be taken so i can work on placenta.
Amanda says i dont need to synto/placenta injection at this point as loss is very minimal (20 ml), so we wait.
An hour later the massive (and painful) placenta is born, with a little cord traction. Everyone gasps over its massive size. Then the room is empty. 
I tell Jamie I can feel blood, he checks under the sheets and sure enough there is blood spraying everywhere. he is holding one baby but races out to the hall to get help "Bells bleeding" 
They all rush in and im giving the injection while Amanda does some uterus massage. a massive (250ml) clot comes out but still minimal blood loss. I say i feel sick... and then start throwing up everywhere. my BP has crashed again, 75/33. here we go again i think... im going to die and I have hardly even cuddled my babies properly!
They cant get my drip to go in as my cannula has closed, so they bring in the useless guy again to do a new one, after he jabs around i ask he stops.
I refuse him doing my line.
then a big ob comes in and gives me a massive lecture about refusing care and dying... i cant get a word in, i feel like im going to faint and he wont shut up... eventually i tell them I am not refusing the cannula I am refusing that guy putting it in, get someone else... they walk away relieved they have made me see sense... siiiigh
by this stage I am exhausted. they pump more fluids into me and after what feels like forever Im well enough to get up and shower. (Im swollen like a blimp from the fluid)
Now is when i have to put on the brave face. i want to get these babies out of here. I feel like ****. im terrified my bp wont be high enough or ill start throwing up again. they are already doing checks on the babies temps and chest, just looking for a reason to whisk them off to special care
They are weighed and are 3kg and 3.074kg. little fatty babies!
They are so sleepy from the effects of the epi I dont want the hospital to notice and take them away.
10am: there temps are being a little low, but the room we are in has broken heating and is freezing!
by 11 we were in the maternity ward and by 12 everyone had come for a visit.
The local papers came in the arvo to do pics for multiple birth awareness week.
around 5pm we managed to get out, even though the midwife on wasnt keen. we promised our independent midwife would visit and we would be ok.
(the hospital midwife claimed Chases temp was low by 0.2degrees and he was making sounds in his sleep)
The hospy midwife said as long as our IM rang her that all would be fine (and our IM did visit and did call her and all was fine!!)
all in all it wasnt the labor I wanted but the birth was about as good as I could have hoped for. I was super lucky the staff I got on the day were the right combination to allow us to go home asap after the boys were born. Once we got home I felt like I could relax and start bonding!
Thank God for Amanda cos she knew what you wanted!
You are so strong my love, stronger than you think. And to have constant Facebook updates was awesome, made me feel like I was right there next to you!
You did such a great job Bell ! So glad that you got to go home ASAP and bond.
Those 2 little guys are just gorgeous and I love giving them cuddles
Thanks for sharing xoxo
You are truly amazing Bell! You went through so much to get those precious little boys here, they are very lucky to have such a strong, determined woman as their mumma.
Your boys are simply divine - can't wait for my next cuddle xx
wow! what a birth journey! can't believe the hospital made you go through all of that...good on you for putting your foot down with the guy doing your line. it is horrendous getting someone that is rough...i cannot imagine how yuck when in labour and right after birth.
You did a fantastic job bringing those boys into the world! So fantastic that you got to go home with them so soon to the love and support of your family and IM xx the most personal and attentive care xx
Much love, I hope that you have had some chances to rest and recuperate afterwards xx
Thank you all for your kind words.
Im thankful for my IM who made it possible for me to escape home.
Im thankful for my amazing friends who watched my kids and have since fed me, cleaned for me and listened to me debrief.
Im thankful for Amanda Dennis for talking sense into me and then acting swiftly to prevent a tragedy with the cord prolapse.
Im thankful that I had enough knowledge on breastfeeding to get through the first 24 or so hours with two drugged out babies without freaking out or giving up.
All in all I really feel the stars all aligned just right for me to get two healthy babies birthed vaginally, no nights for them in hospital and have them exclusively breastfed from day dot.
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My twin hospital vaginal birth
Synto going up every 15 mins.
I was all over the place.
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