Not the birth I wanted - but I'm fine with it

[HollyC]

The three most important things that I wanted for the birth of my baby were: not to be induced, not to have an epidural and not to have a caesarean.

I ended up with all three, but I'm actually ok with it now. My OB thought that I might need a caesarean and I was very upset when he told me that. It really wasn't what I thought I wanted.

I was induced and I was contracting well, but due to the position of my baby the labour didn't progress. I was rushed off for an emergency caesar when my baby started getting distressed. At that point I don't think I cared what happened. I was in a lot of pain and a bit dopey from pain relief, which hadn't helped with the pain.

It was about 2 hours until I saw my baby. They showed her to me, but I didn't want to hold her because I couldn't really feel my arms. I was also about to vomit. My husband took her while I was in recovery. I was there for such a long time because the spinal block was a bit too effective and took a long time to wear off. This didn't bother me because I was asleep most of the time and snoring apparently.

It was lovely when I was back in my room with my baby and my husband and since then everything has gone really well. I have recovered well and my baby is just beautiful. Breastfeeding was hard work, but it was worth it. I listened to all sorts of advice, tried lots of different things and after a week and a half it was all working really well. Nipple shields made it all work in the end. It helped both of us with attachment and we only needed them for a week.

I am a bit jealous of the bonding time my husband had with her during those first hours, but I also love that they have that bond. I can see how much she loves her dad. Anyway, I have far more opportunities for bonding now with breastfeeding and being her main carer.

I wanted to share my story because even though nothing went the way I wanted, I am still really happy. I trusted my caregivers and I felt that a caesar was the right thing to do. Anyway, I can hardly remember the birth now. My whole life has been consumed by my beautiful baby.

[Lucy]

Holly,

Congratulations on your birth. I'm sorry things didn't go to plan, but it is so lovely to hear you are so happy regardless. Your self awareness will no doubt stand you and you daughter in very good stead. Enjoy this very special time.

Take care,

[fionas]

Congratulations Holly. So glad that things are going well for you and your baby.

And just to share ... I had a vaginal birth but was so knackered my DP looked after DD for about two hours afterwards ... hasn't affected our bonding at all!

[kristi14]

Thanks for sharing that with us.

Sorry things didnt go as you wanted, but im happy you are fine with it

CONGRATULATIONS