After 6 months...

[Three Graces]

A friend of mine just had her third DS stop taking the breast around the 10 or 11 month mark. Took mum by surprise as her first two fed for a lot longer and she was pretty upset about it all. She's had to bottle feed him alongside solids til the 12 month mark.

[Sagres]

Well I guess it may just be a matter of semantics. My example is at 4 months I got AF back - even though I was BFing 3 hourly - and it totally killed my supply, as in going from happily feeding DD2 6-7 BFs a day with no issue to her screaming in hunger after the first feed of the day (in the morning when of course your supply is usually at it's best). Incidentally the same thing happened with DD1 but I didn't get AF back until 8 months so obviously a very different picture at that age. Anyway my supply came back a bit a few days after AF finished (although not back to what it was before AF), but then continued to die everytime I ovulated and had AF. And given it took about a week of extra feeding/pumping yada yada to get it back to SOMETHING after each O and each AF, it was pretty screwed.

So as you can imagine little to no milk = breast refusal. And without out Motillium & top ups = weaning and not putting on weight. That isn't speculation, that was my reality at that time.

You seem to assume that weaning would only occur after something else was offered but if there is very little to get from BFing it is not going to last long is it? So yes I could try and twist words and massage meanings and say that it wasn't weaning, but at the end of the day if a baby won't stop screaming long enough to attach to a boob I'm not sure what other word would be appropriate?
I am not some one who would not offer anything else and let a baby scream for those those week long periods to hold onto the idea of her not weaning, I am a very different person to some one who would do that.

I can assure you I am not the first woman that has ever had this problem! I have a friend with a younger baby who is going through a similar hormone related supply issue (not related to AF though) and is having the same breast refusal/weaning experience. But I get the impression we're meant to pretend it doesn't happen because our scenarios inconveniently don't fit with in the ideals of BFing

[Jellyfish]

That isn't really what I consider self weaning so I guess it is semantics. A child in that circumstance is weaning out of necissity, not choice.

[Mum2twoBoys]

I agree with jellyfish, that isn't really what I consider baby led weaning. The baby wants it but supply isn't meeting demand. Not saying that you should starve your baby, just terminology. No need to defend as noone is saying that you are lazy and made your baby stop, or that you didn't want to give the breast. You did what you could under difficult circumstances. And in the end it only really matters that your baby gets their required nutrients. Be that via bf or formula. So look at your little one and know that you did the best you could and that they love you for it. Hugs

Sent from HTC wildfire using TAPATALK, so forgive any spelling errors its a small keyboard.

[Heaven]

Yeah that's not 'self' weaning. That's unfortunate circumstances which led to your baby not being able to breastfeed and I'm sorry that happened, it must have been hard.

But what I was saying is that babies don't self wean until they are a LOT older. So if breastfeeding it's going well and there are no problems there is no reason to expect your baby will wean itms.

[PumpkinZulu]

My DD is weaning because my supply is gone because of pregnancy. I wouldn't call it self weaning as it's not her choice, if I still had milk she would still be happily feeding. She only feeds 1-2 times a day now for maybe a minute. So it's weaning, but not self imposed. I also started supplementing with cows milk at about 10 months. We tried goats milk, but it upset her stomach, and I didn't think formula was necessary. Once DD started weaning, she ate so much more food, so I'm happy with her intake nutritionally. If anything, the milk is really a comfort thing before naps. I'm happier with that decision than if we'd given her formula TBH.

[onthefly]

What a difficult situation Sagres! Well done working through it. Certainly, some mother-baby dyads have their own particular problems that don't fit with the 'norm'.

Though it's gone beyond what the OP was asking about, I think the point really was that babies don't tend to wean without reason, though that doesn't necessarily mean you can do much about it, unfortunately.

And of course you fed your baby - we all do that

[Sagres]

Hmmm, I guess I'm not sure at this point why it is important to categorise between self weaning and the other option - a kind of enforced self weaning due to lack of availability. I mean in my case I would say it was a bit of both......she struggled along with the crappy supply for a couple months (it gradually got worse with each cycle) THEN decided enough was enough and threw in the towel when I guess it was a line ball, she could have gone either way. So a bit enforced and a bit her choice - though not a choice she would make under different circumstances!

TBH I'm not that concerned what it is called because the thread is about stopping BFing at any point before 12 months for any reason (not specifically self weaning) but I am curios about the strong desire to classify my case and other similar cases as 'not self weaning' and why others see that as important?

[Heaven]

The OP is the one that mentioned self weaning, not weaning for any reason. That's why we're talking about it.

[PumpkinZulu]

For me, it's debunking BF myths. I'm younger, and I see so many girls yet to have children think things about childbirth, pregnancy and breastfeeding that are not true. So for me, if lots of people hear and believe babies will stop BF before 6 months of their own volition, which is extremely rare, it perpetuates a myth of sorts, so then when eventually they may come up against BF hurdles, they'll just shrug and call it self weaning.

[Heaven]

Totally agree PZ. So important.

[PumpkinZulu]

And I don't mean that in a judgemental way either. I don't think the classifications matter if you're aware of the differences, and if there's no way you can keep going past a certain point anyway (like hormonal changes that are drying up milk, I've tried everything and despite my best efforts, this pregnancy has dried me up). It matters when you're unsure, not fully educated and lack a bit of support to keep trying. Generations of women in a family have said that they can't breastfeed, so that mentality is already imbedded in a girls mid long before she has children. I know girls who believe if they don't BF (or vaginally give birth for that matter) their bodies won't change. Girls who think they'll orgasm from BF and past 6 weeks it's gross, that they can't BF because their boobs are too big or small. It makes me sad, we should be a generation of informed, empowered young women, but we're not in a lot of ways (but are in many more), so semantics matter for this instance.

[little_O]

Girls who think they'll orgasm from BF and past 6 weeks it's gross, that they can't BF because their boobs are too big or small.

Wow Really?? NEVER heard of that! That's insane!

[OceanPrincess]

My ABA group runs a meeting on "breastfeeding myths". The breast size one is really common. The orgasm one not so much!!!!

Little O, I just want to reinforce that if you guys hit six months (WHEN you hit six months), worry about things like weaning if that comes up. There's no reason, at this stage, to worry it will. So focus on the today and take it as it comes

[Jellyfish]

Associating premature weaning with problems/situations that can potentially be overcome is why it is important to distinguish between a child's independant choice and their decision being encouraged by circumstance. A person's response to their child weaning can be very different if they believe it is a difficulty to get past rather than a natural progression to embrace. I know I wouldn't follow my child's push to 'wean' before 12m without putting up a good fight, which is what you also did right? And is what PZ is doing, for example. You are aware weaning before 12m is not of benefit to a child, personal circumstance aside and is not something they would have done if there had not been outside influence so you keep trying; I think it is an important message for all mothers, that there might be ways to help continue your breastfeeding journey. Unfortunately, it does not always work out and I'm sorry you had such a difficult time breastfeeding, I can't begin to imagine and I apologize if my post offended you.

Mostly though, I don't think any weaning really occurs without a little bit of encouragement (whether intentional or not), it is natural for a child to seek guidance and confirmation from their parents but when is it appropriate? My DD1 recently had her last breastfeed (~3yrs 3m) and I know why she decided to stop - we had just been through toilet training and discussing how she was becomming a big girl, we had been trying to distance her from her baby sister to demonstrate how much she was growing and she developed the thought further by deciding that 'milkies' were just for babies which she was not anymore. I believe at that moment, the choice was then in my hands and I could confirm or deny her line of thinking. I went with it despite reservations over sending her the message that breastfeeding was something a young child should not continue. There never really is a perfect answer for every situation and we all do what we can with the information we have but therefore personally, I think spreading that information is important. Obviously, in the end, it is up to the parent's where the line between discouraging weaning and not should be drawn but for me, it makes sense to promote 12m+ because before then it would need to be replaced with another source of milk and nothing rivals breastmilk in that situation.