It's normal to feel aprehensive when you have had a previous negative experience. It sounds like you had a tough time. With breastfeeding, as with anything, knowledge is power. Once you understand how it works, you can feel more in control. So you have done the best possible thing, enrolling in that class.
Try to hang out with some mums that are breastfeeding. We learn by seeing. Talk to them, find out the issues they had and how they overcame them. ABA is a great place to help normalise breastfeeding.
The class I am doing is run by the hospital. But I do have contact info for the ABA, I might have to look into what they offer too.
Mantaray - The establishing part is what I am worried about. I know after that it would be fine and so convenient. Maybe its just sticking it out through those first weeks knowing it can only get easier. Mind you, thats easier said than done!!
Barb - There are a few mothers in my mums group who are breastfeeding still, they have offered to help me when the time comes. So I'm glad I have them. When I am around them I feel so inspired to breastfeed because they make it look so easy. Then when I see my SIL bottle feeding the inspiration to breastfeed goes away!
isadora- have you got a copy of the book 'Breastfeeding Naturally'? i can send you my copy to read if you like?
it gives you lots of info about breastfeeding and would be a great read for you as part of your 'preparation' and sort of 'getting your head around it all' while you're pg iykwim?
don't forget, we are also all here for you to offer you support and encouragement along the way
Isadora - I think what you are feeling is totally natural given your experience first time around. I had a similar experience first time around and similar feelings about it all. Second time around, even though I knew more and had educated myself, I also had difficulties. I'm not saying that to put you off at all so let me explain. I think one of the most awful things when you are having difficulties is to feel like you have to make a decision there and then about whether to continue or to use a bottle. I drove myself nuts for three weeks trying to attach DD2 and feeling like we were making no progress with the only advice from my lactation consultant being to "keep trying". To me, that advice was not very helpful. If you try 8+ times per day to do something and you only have success 10 per cent of the time, it makes you feel like a failure all day. I was a mess. I wanted to BF but those feelings of failure and not making any progress were completely ruining my enjoyment of being a mum. I also felt like if I used bottles that was it, breastfeeding over, because that's what a lot of people will say. Much of the advice out there says that babies will get confused if you use a bottle and your supply will suffer so I really thought it was an either/or situation and it was totally killing me trying to work out what to do.
But, in my case, and I should emphasise that this is MY experience, it would have been wiser for me to use bottles here and there when I was getting stressed out to give me some breathing space. I didn't do that. I "gave up" (I use those words ironically because it didn't feel like "giving up" it felt like I was trying to save my sanity) at three weeks and put DD completely on to bottles for six weeks. Until I tried to attach her again just for the hell of it and lo and behold, at nine weeks old it was so much easier to attach her because her little mouth had now become so much bigger. So here we are relactating after six weeks of bottles and me not trying to express. She has not lost her BFing instinct and I am working hard (with medication and lots and lots of attaching, expressing and using a supply line) at getting my milk back.
So, I'm really trying to say a couple of things here. Obviously it is not ideal for the BFing relationship or your supply to use bottles BUT if you need some breathing space, then I think it's worth doing if it helps you live to fight another day. Secondly, it's never too late if you get off to a rough start. The simple anatomy of a bigger baby with a bigger mouth makes a lot of difference. If you can weather through those early weeks, it will get easier. I wish I had known this at the time, I would have tried attaching DD periodically during those six weeks and done some expressing to maintain my supply rather than stopping completely.
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