Breastfeeding another's baby

[Butterfly Dawn]

Its not something I would have thought of doing. And I would be upset in the same situation if I wasnt asked 1st. Think there is over reaction for sure.
If baby was upset, hungry and tired 30 mins can seem a life time, shoulda been a phone call made to the mum, but I also wouldnt have left a child without trying to feed 1st if I knew time was coming, probably wouldnt have left baby at all- depending on age a bit. So many varients to take into consideration, but losing friends over and act of kindness? all be it not such a great thing afterall, suggests they werent really real friends in the 1st place and again- wouldnt have left my child

[Butterfly Dawn]

When DS2 was a baby he was small and not very strong, so we would leave him at home with MIL (we were living with them then) when we needed to go to the supermarket etc. He was a 99% BF baby, we would leave a bottle of formula "just in case" but always be home before the next feed was due, however on numerous occasions we would get home to find MIL giving him abottle because she wanted to- not because he was hungry or crying simply because SHE WANTED TO. B*#@H! we have moved out now and needless to say, she isnt getting much more then a cuddle with DD.

[AngelPants]

I can completely understand both sides to this, it is a very personal thing and can pass on some diseases.
That being said i would have no issue with it besides being left with full boobies!

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[sepata]

I think for me, the major issue is the fact the mum wasn't asked. If I were in the same situation I wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as I was asked by the other mum. If I were the mum who fed the other child, it probably wouldn't have crossed my mind (though I'm sure it will now, thanks to this! ), but I would never breastfeed someone else's kid without their consent.

I wonder, in the extreme circumstance that the baby contracted a disease from the breastfeeding non-mother, what rights or actions could the mum take?

I hate the way the article was written, the woman comes across as a total nob. I also think she has left out certain elements of the story to back up her pov.

[Butterfly Dawn]

It certainly could easily have raised allergy issues- what if baby couldnt have milk from somebody on a regular diet- many mothers cant have dairy or chocolate, cabbage etc because it reacts badly with the baby, allergys, intolerances, reflux, colic and so on

[MummaBee]

If this had happened to me I would of lost it, HIV can be transmitted through breastmilk and some other diseases not only that but when NICU supply milk from donated mummys it is made safe through machines, somewhat like a dairy. Every womans breastmilk is specially formulated for their infant, im not saying that its totally unreasonable and doesnt happen but it would blow the smoke outta my ears.

[wysiwyg]

I am not sure I actually believe this happened - sounds like an urban myth to me, the fact an almost similar story was about a while back (with the same only gone for 30 mins etc) makes me wonder. To me it is written in a way to inflame to get traffic and comments for the website.

I mean if I was somewhere 3 adults 3 babies I certainly wouldn't leave one adult with three babies at nap time - one adult would go get the food - why would two go? - because the story would not work otherwise.

On the issue - I would be fine with it if consent had been given, if it hadn't I would have been annoyed but I would have got over it.

[sas85]

Yep. The disease thing. I don't care about the boobs. But without a full screening of all communicable diseases and drugs testing, I wouldn't be letting another woman's milk near my kids.

[RainbowBrite]

My sick premmies have had donated EBM while in the NICU and I had no problem with it...quite the opposition I was grateful but I see someone BF my child very different especially when it is done without permission and the mum was gone for only a short time.
I would have been a bit cross too but I do think she goes a little far comparing it to the toothbrush down the toilet.

[*Danni*]

Yeah whilst i do think the writer was a bit OTT about it in their expressions and choice of words, I too would be absolutely devastated. As some have said on here, it's about the bonding and the fact that it is MY baby and something only *I* should be doing and it being done without permission is just outright wrong and quite unbelievable that someone would do that to another persons child, especially under those circumstances. I personally am not one that would feel comfortable for my child to be breastfed by another mother as I see it as something intimate, personal and that only i should be providing as the mother (as all bm is different) but i respect those that think differently but it is out of the question being done without prior consent or knowledge from the mother, unless in a life and death situation. And it is correct, it can never be undone and that memory will stay with them forever. Wow.


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[Jellyfish]

I actually don't think I would have cared guess I'm odd though it isn't something I would think to do with another's child unless they brought it up with me, definitely not something I would do without discussing it with them.

So many things seem a bit off with this story though... sending 2 out of 3 adults to the shops was the first thing I thought strange...

[briggsy's girl]

I am not sure I actually believe this happened - sounds like an urban myth to me, the fact an almost similar story was about a while back (with the same only gone for 30 mins etc) makes me wonder. To me it is written in a way to inflame to get traffic and comments for the website.

I mean if I was somewhere 3 adults 3 babies I certainly wouldn't leave one adult with three babies at nap time - one adult would go get the food - why would two go? - because the story would not work otherwise.

On the issue - I would be fine with it if consent had been given, if it hadn't I would have been annoyed but I would have got over it.

yeah i agree the story itself sounds a bit made up - why would they leave one woman with three kids? different if they left home owner with three sleeping kids, but three awake, and leaving non home-owner - sounds a bit far fetched! but it's got people talking so it's definitely done what the writer hoped... i think the bulk of us have replied to the generic "feel" of the story - BF another child and lack of consent

FWIW - i have actually said to a friend very recently (as in, this week) that i would BF her child if needed. she is talking about perhaps TTC again, and has commented numerous times on the fact she had a lot of trouble feeding her son. they both got very flustered and she couldn't get attachment right etc so she ended up switching him to formula. we were talking the other day about the fact it's been relatively easy for me, and i said if she wanted to try again i'd help her - and if that meant me chucking bub on boob for a couple of minutes to get it calmed down enough for the flustered part to be over, then i'd happily do it to help her out. it would be with consent of course

[~ Mylitta ~]

If the story is true, then the major issue is consent.

I have donated EBM to two different babies that have thrived on the additional breastmilk, and if any of my babies were in need then I would probably be happy to accept EBM for them as well.

Breastfeeding another person's child is completely different (in my eyes) to giving donated EBM. While I would give my children someone else's EBM, I wouldn't want them to breastfeed them directly. It's something precious to me that I like to share with them exclusively. Personally I would be happy to breastfeed someone else's child if they wanted me to, but when I asked my DH about it he said he wouldn't want me to. He feels that it is something special for our babies alone to share with me.

The biggest issue here is that someone allegedly made an extremely personal decision for someone else's child without permission. That's just wrong. I wouldn't feed another person's child anything without asking first, let alone breastfeed one.

[Jellybean29]

If this had happened to me I honestly would be grateful she comforted my baby and fed him when he needed it and wouldn't care.
As long as she didn't have any blood diseases or was on unsafe medication of course.
I dunno, I really don't see the big deal. But then I'd wet nurse at the drop of a hat if someone wanted me to


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[LuluHB]

I would be absolutely furious if someone else fed my baby without my consent. TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else breastfeeding my baby any time so its not likely that permission would ever be given.

Slightly OT, but I also have an issue with people just helping themselves to pick up someone else's child without permission too - obviously if you have left your child in that person's care then you would expect them to cuddle your child if needed.

[MummyNaomi]

Its does sound a bit beat up and fictitious - agree with Vic

However if someone BF my baby under the same circumstances, I'd be devastated and very very angry, and to be honest it would seriously compromise my friendship with the other mother. This wasn't a life or death situation and it sounded like there was no need to feed without the mothers permission. A BF bond between mother and baby is very special. I would however be happy to BF another baby if it was needed and I was asked by the mother, however I doubt that I would be comfortable with my baby being BF by another mother, thats just me

[Bloom]

If I were close friend's with someone else, I don't think I'd mind. Sure I'd prefer it if I gave permission first but I don't think I'd be furious.

Interesting side note: back in that 80's before mobiles, my mum was baby sitting a close friend's breastfed infant who was the same age as my then breast fed brother. The mother had fed the baby before she left but the baby just would not settle at all for my mum and was crying for ages. Walking, rocking, nothing would stop the baby crying. So as a last resort, Mum tried to breast feed him. Apparently he attached for a while and then pulled off, refusing to feed . Like he knew that it wasn't his own mummy's milk or breast. So I wonder if a baby older than a few months would even breast feed happily at another's breast.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

When Liebs was 2 weeks old, my mother was staying with us for a few days.

Liebs was sleeping (with a full BFed tum) and I wanted to take him out with me. We would have been out for under an hour.

My mother browbeat me into leaving her to babysit. He won't wake up, you need a break and all that rubbish. I was unhappy about this - but there's no gainsaying my mother (which is why I tell her nothing of my life now).

I got home - she'd woken him and fed him a bottle of formula.

I was livid. She didn't see the problem - not even when he'd puked it all back up and gone back to sleep.

Personally, I wouldn't accept another's BM or even EBM for Liebling as he has dairy intolerance, his dad has a nut allergy (Liebs doesn't appear to, but I didn't know that at the time) and caffeine hypersensitivity. So nutty chocolate was out for me. There are a few women I know would watch their diet if I needed milk for Liebs and be vigilant about it, and do it joyfully (so I would accept BM or EBM then), but most wouldn't. Heck, it wasn't even that joyful for me. First act after we decided Liebs had finished BFing (we = me and Liebs) was to go out and buy chocolate brazil nuts and scoff the whole bag.

However, I agree that it's a consent thing, especially as BM can carry diseases. BFing another child really isn't that much of an issue to me.