Registered User
Definately should have asked permission first... However if it was me I'd say thanks, but no thanks. I know it's Natural, but it's kinda odd to me still. However, if it was a life or death jam where my baby needed milk from another or I needed to give it, I wouldn't hesitate.
But I think the bigger picture is at the end of the day, baby didnt give a rats arse ><;; S/he had a full belly and was snoozing peacefully. Maybe Mother Number 2 & 3 should have just chalked it up to experience.
Registered User
If this had happened to me I would of lost it, HIV can be transmitted through breastmilk and some other diseases not only that but when NICU supply milk from donated mummys it is made safe through machines, somewhat like a dairy. Every womans breastmilk is specially formulated for their infant, im not saying that its totally unreasonable and doesnt happen but it would blow the smoke outta my ears.
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I am not sure I actually believe this happened - sounds like an urban myth to me, the fact an almost similar story was about a while back (with the same only gone for 30 mins etc) makes me wonder. To me it is written in a way to inflame to get traffic and comments for the website.
I mean if I was somewhere 3 adults 3 babies I certainly wouldn't leave one adult with three babies at nap time - one adult would go get the food - why would two go? - because the story would not work otherwise.
On the issue - I would be fine with it if consent had been given, if it hadn't I would have been annoyed but I would have got over it.
Registered User
yeah i agree the story itself sounds a bit made up - why would they leave one woman with three kids? different if they left home owner with three sleeping kids, but three awake, and leaving non home-owner - sounds a bit far fetched! but it's got people talking so it's definitely done what the writer hoped... i think the bulk of us have replied to the generic "feel" of the story - BF another child and lack of consent
FWIW - i have actually said to a friend very recently (as in, this week) that i would BF her child if needed. she is talking about perhaps TTC again, and has commented numerous times on the fact she had a lot of trouble feeding her son. they both got very flustered and she couldn't get attachment right etc so she ended up switching him to formula. we were talking the other day about the fact it's been relatively easy for me, and i said if she wanted to try again i'd help her - and if that meant me chucking bub on boob for a couple of minutes to get it calmed down enough for the flustered part to be over, then i'd happily do it to help her out. it would be with consent of course
Registered User
Yep. The disease thing. I don't care about the boobs. But without a full screening of all communicable diseases and drugs testing, I wouldn't be letting another woman's milk near my kids.
Registered User
My sick premmies have had donated EBM while in the NICU and I had no problem with it...quite the opposition I was grateful but I see someone BF my child very different especially when it is done without permission and the mum was gone for only a short time.
I would have been a bit cross too but I do think she goes a little far comparing it to the toothbrush down the toilet.
Registered User
Im going to go out on a limb and say the mother of the inappropriately breastfed child should have either stayed if there was a possibility of a feed (which was implied in the article) or taken the baby with her.
Mother Three should not have breastfed without the other mother's consent, for sure, but no one knows the circumstances. Mother Three might have had a distressed screaming infant who wanted a feed on her hands (and who could prob smell her milk) and she made a split second decision (however inappropriate).
Life Subscriber
You know, in the circumstances it sounds like she could have asked permission first. I'm assuming the mums who went out took a phone with them. And if she could have contacted the mum then it really would have been better if she did. In fact she really should have. Just like she really should have asked permission first to give the child anything. You don't just give formula or solids to a child without checking with the mum first. With an older child, who is already eating well you would still check before giving him/her something to eat wouldn't you? So the real issue is that she fed the child without permission more so than how she fed him. That's how I see it anyway. And perhaps I am not in the majority here, but if there was an emergency and I had a hungry baby I couldn't feed, I would rather someone find a way to give it breastmilk than anything else. To me that is the least harm option.
I can understand mum 2 being upset in that situation but I really don't think articles like that do any of us any favours.
Platinum Member. Love a friend xxx
I think there was a lack of communication on everyones behalf
If you know you're baby is close to a feed you take the child with you or have an alternate plan in place.
I think mumma3 did the wrong thing and should have maybe discussed it with the babys mother before they went.
i think if it was my kid, i would have been offended. would the other mother like if it happened to her?
ive never breastfeed my kids....
Registered User
I would be happy to donate or receive ebm if needed, but I don't think I would feel comfortable feeding or having my baby fed by someone else. especially if they hadn't asked!!!
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Things that make you Hmmmmm
Its not something I would have thought of doing. And I would be upset in the same situation if I wasnt asked 1st. Think there is over reaction for sure.
If baby was upset, hungry and tired 30 mins can seem a life time, shoulda been a phone call made to the mum, but I also wouldnt have left a child without trying to feed 1st if I knew time was coming, probably wouldnt have left baby at all- depending on age a bit. So many varients to take into consideration, but losing friends over and act of kindness? all be it not such a great thing afterall, suggests they werent really real friends in the 1st place and again- wouldnt have left my child
Registered User
When DS2 was a baby he was small and not very strong, so we would leave him at home with MIL (we were living with them then) when we needed to go to the supermarket etc. He was a 99% BF baby, we would leave a bottle of formula "just in case" but always be home before the next feed was due, however on numerous occasions we would get home to find MIL giving him abottle because she wanted to- not because he was hungry or crying simply because SHE WANTED TO. B*#@H! we have moved out now and needless to say, she isnt getting much more then a cuddle with DD.
2012 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
I can completely understand both sides to this, it is a very personal thing and can pass on some diseases.
That being said i would have no issue with it besides being left with full boobies!
Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk
Registered User
I think for me, the major issue is the fact the mum wasn't asked. If I were in the same situation I wouldn't have a problem with it, as long as I was asked by the other mum. If I were the mum who fed the other child, it probably wouldn't have crossed my mind (though I'm sure it will now, thanks to this!), but I would never breastfeed someone else's kid without their consent.
I wonder, in the extreme circumstance that the baby contracted a disease from the breastfeeding non-mother, what rights or actions could the mum take?
I hate the way the article was written, the woman comes across as a total nob. I also think she has left out certain elements of the story to back up her pov.
Registered User
It certainly could easily have raised allergy issues- what if baby couldnt have milk from somebody on a regular diet- many mothers cant have dairy or chocolate, cabbage etc because it reacts badly with the baby, allergys, intolerances, reflux, colic and so on
Registered User
Yeah whilst i do think the writer was a bit OTT about it in their expressions and choice of words, I too would be absolutely devastated. As some have said on here, it's about the bonding and the fact that it is MY baby and something only *I* should be doing and it being done without permission is just outright wrong and quite unbelievable that someone would do that to another persons child, especially under those circumstances. I personally am not one that would feel comfortable for my child to be breastfed by another mother as I see it as something intimate, personal and that only i should be providing as the mother (as all bm is different) but i respect those that think differently but it is out of the question being done without prior consent or knowledge from the mother, unless in a life and death situation. And it is correct, it can never be undone and that memory will stay with them forever. Wow.
Sent from my iPhone more than likely while I should be doing something else!
Registered User
If the story is true, then the major issue is consent.
I have donated EBM to two different babies that have thrived on the additional breastmilk, and if any of my babies were in need then I would probably be happy to accept EBM for them as well.
Breastfeeding another person's child is completely different (in my eyes) to giving donated EBM. While I would give my children someone else's EBM, I wouldn't want them to breastfeed them directly. It's something precious to me that I like to share with them exclusively. Personally I would be happy to breastfeed someone else's child if they wanted me to, but when I asked my DH about it he said he wouldn't want me to. He feels that it is something special for our babies alone to share with me.
The biggest issue here is that someone allegedly made an extremely personal decision for someone else's child without permission. That's just wrong. I wouldn't feed another person's child anything without asking first, let alone breastfeed one.
Registered User
I would be absolutely furious if someone else fed my baby without my consent. TBH I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else breastfeeding my baby any time so its not likely that permission would ever be given.
Slightly OT, but I also have an issue with people just helping themselves to pick up someone else's child without permission too - obviously if you have left your child in that person's care then you would expect them to cuddle your child if needed.
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