When DD1 wants to solo-feed (ie without her sister) she says "have lie down milk" It's mostly sweet and a little bit heartbreaking. And annoying, as its prime twiddling time.
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When DD1 wants to solo-feed (ie without her sister) she says "have lie down milk" It's mostly sweet and a little bit heartbreaking. And annoying, as its prime twiddling time.
Breastfeeding your toddler - Practical Parenting Magazine - Yahoo!7 Lifestyle
Mention toddlers and breastfeeding and the now-famous image of American mum Jamie Lynne Grumet breastfeeding her three-year-old son on the cover of Time magazine is often brought up. The cover sparked much controversy. Is he too old? Is breastfeeding a toddler all for the mother? Can he be getting anything nutritious?
Breastfeeding into toddlerhood is not as uncommon as you may think. The 2010 Australian National Infant Feeding Survey showed
18 per cent of children aged 13 to 18 months, and
7 per cent of children aged between 19 and 24 months were still being breastfeed.
And the Australian Breastfeeding Association says that
450ml of breastmilk a day can provide 29 per cent of a toddler's daily energy needs,
43 per cent of his protein requirement,
75 per cent of his vitamin A needs, and
60 per cent of his vitamin C needs.
Breastfeeding into toddlerhood is not always planned
Mums who breastfeed their children past their first birthday often don’t set out to do so but find it evolves naturally, as it did for mother-of-three Victoria Pollock, who breastfed her second child, Caitlin, until she was nearly two, and her third child, James, until he was two-and-a-half. “I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to continue, even while working.”
If breastfeeding works for you, there are lots of great reasons to keep it up. “There are ongoing immune, nutritional and emotional benefits to the child for as long as he breastfeeds,” says Renee Kam, from the Australian Breastfeeding Association. “Even after children stop breastfeeding, lower infection rates have been identified among children who are breastfed for a longer verses a shorter duration.”
Emotionally, breastfeeding is a great leveller, too. “As children grow older, breastfeeding becomes less about food and more a way of connecting with their mum,” explains Renee.
To cap it all off, there are health advantages to breastfeeding your toddler for you as well: women who breastfeed for more than two years have half the risk of breast cancer as women who breastfeed for six months, according to researchers at the Yale University School of Medicine and Yale Cancer Center in the US.
Making it work
Just as mothering your child into toddlerhood enters a whole new dimension of language development and play, so too, does breastfeeding – so be prepared! “I’ve noticed a definite change in the breastfeeding dynamic with Merrilina since she passed the one-year mark,” says mum-of-one Bryony Hesson. “She’s been ‘acrobatic’ feeding for months, but recently has started combining breastfeeding with whatever little game she may be playing.”
How and when you choose to breastfeed your toddler is entirely up to you, which is good news if you’re a working mother. “Generally, toddlers can go without breastfeeding for many hours, provided they have other healthy drinks and snacks provided and are content,” says Renee. And your breasts will adapt to provide enough milk to allow you to breastfeed as much as you like.
Coping with criticism
For some mothers, it’s the thought of how other people might react that can put them off breastfeeding their babies into toddlerhood. And unfortunately, many mums who breastfeed their toddlers do notice a few more raised eyebrows, even from family and close friends.
“I’ve received a lot of looks from people all through Daphne’s breastfeeding life,” says Charleen Warburton, who breastfed her two-year-old daughter until she was 19 months and is due to give birth to bub number two in April. “Daphne’s always had a lot of hair and people thought she was older than she was. I just learned to ignore them.”
Clinical psychologist Dr Maya Griffiths agrees with the approach of ignoring any looks and quiet comments that aren’t said directly to you. But if someone comes up to you to give their opinion? “People often make critical remarks even if they are naive about the topic at hand, so it can be helpful to remember this as it is easier to brush off negative comments. Therefore, ignoring any glances or quiet comments may be all that’s necessary,” Dr Griffiths says.
A common criticism of mothers feeding older children is that they’re doing it for their own benefit. Dr Griffiths says that this couldn’t be further from the truth. “You can’t force an infant or toddler to breastfeed, so it’s rarely about the mother,” she says. “Again, a lot of this criticism comes from people being misinformed.”
What kids think!
We asked five breastfeeding toddlers what they think Mum’s breastmilk tastes like and these were their answers:
1. Honey
2. Hugging
3. White chocolate
4. “Just boobie milk”
5. Chocolate and strawberry
Breastfeeding manners
Lactation consultant and psychiatric nurse Brooke Higgs gives her five top tips for teaching toddlers to breastfeed on your terms:
1. Like any strategy for managing a toddler’s behaviour, consistency is important. If you don’t want your toddler breastfeeding at the supermarket, then don’t breastfeed
him on some trips but not others.
2. Introduce the concept of waiting: “Mummy will give you your milk when we get to the car”. Toddlers don’t often like having to wait, but if you are consistent in your approach
your child will catch on. Make sure you do breastfeed when you get to the car or home or wherever you have promised at the end of the waiting period so your tot knows you say what you mean!
3. Find something special that your toddler loves to play with and use this to distract him from wanting to breastfeed at times you’re not happy with. Hide it when you don’t need it or it will lose its effectiveness very quickly. Something portable that you can hide in your handbag is helpful.
4. If you don’t want to breastfeed your toddler while out and about, have a special chair at home (or nanna’s, or a certain friend’s place) where this is the only place that your toddler is breastfed.
5. For boobie grabbers, try wearing clothing where your toddler cannot easily access the breast. Say calmly, “You can have a breastfeed when we get home,” while moving your child’s hand away from your breast. As your toddler gets older he may even learn what colour bra or certain clothing item means “no boobie”!
My perspective has definitely changed but not really in terms of others experiences more like when DD1 was DD2s age (14mo) it felt like a big deal to still be feeding but with DD2 it seems weird to think she wouldnt still be feeding lol.
Just subbing :) I am 18 months expressing, nearly 14 months breast feeding.. DS will be having hernia surgery in the next couple of months so that is my next goal.. I want to BF him til after his recovery then once again I'll re assess.. I think he'd be easy to wean, I left him for the first time overnight last weekend and Mum gave him EBM in a bottle, as well as cows milk (I hadn't pumped enough for 2 bottles) and he was perfectly fine.. DS is not a comfort feeder, not a nipple twiddler and will ONLY feed from my right side, but he does stick his hand down my top for comfort.. It's sooo cute :)
just joining :) dd only turned 1 ystery :lol: so I'm getting in early!!
I found with my ds that I actually enjoyed bf more after he turned 1. I found the feeds more relaxing because we actually stopped for a while and my very active toddler just chilled out and I could spend time just letting my mind wander.
Great thread! I fed DD1 to 3.5yrs (18 months tandem feeding). Now feeding DD2 who is 2 yrs. I have cut down to 2 feeds a day now (nap time and bed time) because I figure that's enough for me at this age and I was also trying to get my cycle back to normal. Otherwise I imagine she would still be feeding a lot! We also night weaned at about 18 months I think, maybe a bit before, and so now she mostly sleeps through thank God. So everything going great here and I'm hoping for her to self-wean whenever she's ready just like her big sister did. I don't see it anywhere in our near future though :)
LOL, I was just thinking this the other day. When DD1 was 2 I was thinking she was so big and it was a big deal to still be feeding her and everyone probably thought I was a weirdo. But after feeding a 3.5yr old it had never crossed my mind that feeding DD2 might be seen as strange now. She is still so little and of course she would be BFing! lol.:
So have been invited to an interstate wedding, no partners or kids...unsure whether I should enquire about bringing Buster or just to leave it. We can't all go due to cost and I really can't go without him seeing he is still feeding.
Well you're going to have to ask I think. They need to realise that babies need their boobies, wedding or not. I'd put it simply as that you'd love to go but if you can't take Buster you won't be able to.
Have they specifically said no babies? I didn't include babies on my wedding invitations, there just wasn't enough room for them. Anyone who asked and needed to bring and feed them, that was fine. Same with SIL, DD wasn't on the invitation but we asked and she went.
If they haven't specifically said, I'd just give them a call.
Oh I forgot I wrote that :) She has said that they want to keep it small hence no one's partner or family are invited. So I feel bad putting her in the position if that makes sense. No point assuming though I guess, will have to bite the bullet and ask!
Yeah I did think the no partner part too was strange. If you had enough money I'd say all go over and just take breaks to be with Buster. Otherwise I'd be skipping it unfortunately.
Hi ladies, what a great thread! My son is 18 months and I am bfing him once a day, before I put him down at night. He doesn't seem in a hurry to wean and I'm happy to let him feed for as long as he likes. My problem is that I am beginning to doubt that I've got much milk. My boobs are so tiny they are almost inverted and he really squeezes them when he's feeding. I know that for older kids the bf's become more about attachment with Mummy rather than milk but I'm getting paranoid and I don't want my milk drying up to be the reason he stops feeding. I know I could do fenugreek etc etc but just not sure if that's the right thing to do when it's only one feed per day. Has anyone else felt like this too?
I'm small in the bust too but I've not had problems. DD still feeds 3-4 times in 24 hours though.
Has anyone had this as a problem once their bubs seriously cut back on a couple of feeds- if DD has skipped a feed or gone longer between feeds - usually because I've forgotten to offer and she's not asked- when she does later feed she often throws it back up. Actually I don't know if the vomit is actually due to this but I had a theory that my milk by then has built up thus has a strong flow, she hasn't fed in a while so guzzles it down and it's too much too soon for her. Or maybe it's not related to bf at all... She goes through phases lately where she seems to be miss chuck-a-lot.
Strangelk, you’ve answered your own question. The system is working perfectly. At 18mnths you are not meant to be going around with huge watermelons on your chest. Your boobs are working great - providing just what your son needs. If he wants more milk - he knows how to achieve that, feed more often. Despite popular belief milk doesn’t “just dry up” As long as you feed you make milk. But you only have to make what that one little boy needs - not enough for the whole neighborhood. Relax and enjoy!
Thanks so much, you are right - of course. I've previously been a bit of an overproducer milk wise and I'm just not used to this demand and supply thing. I'm really enjoying my BFing relationship with my son even though he does think my boobs are called "milk" - lol.
DD either has her finger in my ear or nose when she feeds lately, despite my wiggles of protest. It's annoying. What's disturbing is I eventually give up fighting her off & we'll see the end of the feed out with her finger firmly plugged up my nose. :/
DS has moved on from groping me during a feed to trying to be a gymnast. Upside down booby anyone?
DD turned around this evening, but she starts "upside down" (underneath ish) so it was like she was now coming at the nipple from above.
DD is nearly 4 and, as much as the gymnastics aren't as bad as they it for a while (cos she now gets taken off, told it hurts, and boob put away) they still happen of she isn't tired. Putting boob away is far more effective now than it was when she was one, or even two. She has a decent understanding of actions and consequences now.... Hurts too much to let her get away with it though!!!
The last couple of days DS2 has taken to talking with his mouth full - it's kind of funny and yet disturbing at the same time ;) He also insists on being the only one to unclip my bra - totally cracks it if I help, I have to clip it back up & wait for him.
Yep Kitten my DD has been standing up without detatching mid way through a feed for quite some time!
BG Lol! DD tries to talk and point etc while feeding too.
2 years 364 days of breastfeeding and I think I have my first case of mastitis. urggh.
Oh no HotI! Yuck. On a side note - happy birthing day to you for tomorrow :)
DD has been driving me batty. Every morning from about 5am she wants to feed. Non stop. For an hour. Swapping sides every 2 seconds. :wall: I'm tired. I want to sleep. I'm empty because she's drained me - both sides - several times. So I say no more. Cue tantrum, screaming, trying to throw herself off the bed, then launching at me and trying to force my nipple out of my top. Screaming wakes DS :wall:. No more sleeping for me :( Mornings like this make me want to wean. I won't though because she won't let me. I'll give in. My god that girl can scream!
Big hugs Rowellen! Your DD sounds similar (though a bit more extreme) than my DD. She's a screamer too :-/
DD is attached constantly from about 4am onwards every morning, and every morning I lie awake busting for the loo not being able to go because as soon as I get up to go to the toilet she calls out mummy and cries and cries, often waking DS. I wish I could unhook my boobs for a bit sometimes lol
I think I have managed to fight off the mastitis. Couple nights ago, DS went without a feed for 5 +hours, and I slept soundly and I think I must have squashed my full boob. Was getting worse and worse, and I was feeling really crummy. I had tried to encourage DS to feed from that side, but it wasn't really clearing the sore bit. I offered DD an extra feed today, and she was keen as and I think she helped clear it up. Think she has a stronger suck than DS, whatever I am feeling much better tonight. Or it could be the panadol and voltaren....
lol that would be handy Sterla!
Hello to all!
I am still feeding my 14mo DD, which to me seems a miracle after she started refusing at 4 months (bad MCH causing supply issues)!
I love the intimacy of knowing that I, and I alone, have the ability to provide something my daughter loves so much. I love how when she's tired, if I have her on my hip she'll put her hand on my boob. I know that no matter how frustrating I might find, or have found it at times, I will miss it when it's over.
My cycle came back about 5 months ago, and DH and I started trying for a second pretty much straight away. We have not had any luck so far, and I am worried that I will have to force-wean DD in order for my fertility to return to (I have read that it is not uncommon for women not to be able to fall pregnant again until ceasing BF'ing despite ovulating).
Yes, I realise that DH and I have only been trying for 4 cycles, and that the average healthy couple takes 13, and I shouldn't worry until then. But I also know that of 3 pregnancies, it has taken 2 cycles, 3 cycles and 1 cycle to get that BFP, so 4 cycles and still nothing is odd..!
But I'm conflicted...
Cookie your cycle may have come back but you may not be ovulating yet.
Cookie I'm in the same boat. DD is almost 14 months, got my first AF in October but wrote off my first two cycles as one was short and the next long. Then they've all a perfect 28 days since but no luck. I do think I'm ovulating but maybe something in my luteal phase is not completely fertility friendly yet.
Also my DD has a frustrating habit of wanting to go crazy town on night feeds just after I ovulate. I do wonder if that stunts anything, I know people say that once it's back it's back despite increased feeds but who really knows? I don't want to force wean either.
Ps Hotl how's the lump today?
Hi awesomesauce! Give it time. Tandem feeding can be quite hard yakka, so don't be too desperate for it!:
And for me...
I can deal with other adults and their comments about feeding, but what about when another two year old tells mine "you don't need boobie anymore!" Heartbreaking. :(
Double posts are SO COOL!
So I'm not feeding my DS anymore, he weaned at 21 months, but at 27 months he still scrunches my boobs to sleep. It. Never. Ends. Partly drives me crazy and partly awesome that boobs are still his safest place.
And kudos to those still feeding, I do miss it.
This (paraphrased) exchange just happened on another forum I visit:
"How do you feel about two year olds breastfeeding?"
"It seems really awkward. Why not just pump?"
Excuse me while laugh hysterically. Yeah, because trying to pump with my two year old around is soooo much easier than just boobing her normally. I get not being supportive of full-term breastfeeding, but that's just silly.
pumping with a toddler around? that sounds awkward to me! I think some people don't get that breastfeeding is more than just about breastmilk.
My DD never liked EBM. If I pump some milk now, she tells me it is "E-fun's milk" (DS' milk).
We're coming up to 17 months soon and still feeding twice a day :) He's actually been quite sick and has had much more feeds, so glad I was still feeding.
Well I get to join in here :) DS is just over 12 months now and still going strong. Hoping to get to 24 mths again and then see how things go. The older boy made it to one day short of 26 months, only stopped cause I couldn't stand the pain of feeding while 9wks pregnant (at least it was only bedtime feed at that stage). My goal's been 2yrs and see how things go each time.
Tandem feeding whilst pregnant=hard. Have got DD down to two feeds a day even though she requests it way more but it's a start. DS still feeds a heap, not sure how many feeds lol was hoping to wean DD before this Bub comes along but it seems impossible at the moment :/
I have been feeding DS for 20 months yesterday! I planned to survive as long as I could and after an extremely rocky start with a dr telling me to give up and suffering from vasospasm and terrible thrush. I have survived!
DS is now a good weight and happily feeding about 3-4 times a day.
He feeds just before bed (sometimes to sleep and sometimes goes down awake and settles himself with a little chat)
He has a Boobie Smorgasboard from about 5,30 onwards in the morning usually taking about 1 hr to feed then crashing off to sleep next to me in bed...........I don't get much sleep then arrggghhh.
During the day he gets one or two more feeds depending on what he asks for.
He is a nipple twiddler too but can usually be re-directed to play with the middle of my bra or the blanket in bed.
I am pleased we've made it this far but I'm getting ready to "have my boobs back"...........
I have been feeding DS for 20 months yesterday! I planned to survive as long as I could and after an extremely rocky start with a dr telling me to give up and suffering from vasospasm and terrible thrush. I have survived!
DS is now a good weight and happily feeding about 3-4 times a day.
He feeds just before bed (sometimes to sleep and sometimes goes down awake and settles himself with a little chat)
He has a Boobie Smorgasboard from about 5,30 onwards in the morning usually taking about 1 hr to feed then crashing off to sleep next to me in bed...........I don't get much sleep then arrggghhh.
During the day he gets one or two more feeds depending on what he asks for.
He is a nipple twiddler too but can usually be re-directed to play with the middle of my bra or the blanket in bed.
I am pleased we've made it this far but I'm getting ready to "have my boobs back"...........