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So another breastfeeding goal almost reached. DS is 20 months old and had surgery today! One perk of being a BF mum is I get fed here in hospital. Yay. So my goal was to feed him through recovery then stop expressing and taking motilium... I'm thinking another goal will be set... Not sure I'm ready to stop yet.
Hope your little one has a quick recovery, BAL. It was quite nice after I hit 2 years bfing DD to no longer have goals, to just see what happens.
BG, you are awesome! I can empathise with feeding a tall toddler, DD still likes/d cradle hold on the couch, but I feel like I am stretching to hold her bum in while her head is attached. Feeding lying down brings on NA (aversion) so just been working around it.
I can't believe you're still going BAL. awesome.
I feed both to sleep, but with DD1 it's a bit hit and miss. Doesn't always work, and she doesn't always want to.
Well down BAL! Moving the goal posts for yourself is always interesting. Mini goals make it easier though.
I say to dd every night "do you reeeeally need boob tonight?" I've just hidden in the bedroom with a migraine (which funnily feels better looking at phone. I don't feel so dizzy or ill) - she just came up to me and said "mummy I'm not ready for bed yet, but I reeeeeally need booby later. Can I please wake you up for cuddles and booby at bed time?" How do I say no to that?
Totally get where you're coming from, BG. I was ready for DD1 to wean by four. She stayed for a sleep over just before she turned four and didn't have a bf there, so it got forgotten for a couple of days after. ;) Her only bf was first thing in the morning, so I just got up early. She did ask after a week or so, but I just said since she hadn't had bby for a while, maybe she didn't need it anymore? And that was that. We had dropped the night one about six mths earlier because the little monkey was delaying bedtime and faffing about. Hope you get to enjoy this final stretch of bfing.
Well done, BAL! I would like DD2 to keep bfing while she's at preschool next year, so that's my goal. Don't fancy a sick toddler and a tiny baby. DD1 didn't get anything worse than a mild cold until 4 1/2. Hope he's home tomorrow and soon back to his normal self. Enjoy being fed!
Buster is 18 months old tomorrow, still feeding. He always has a morning feed as well as a late afternoon feed (when he wakes up from his nap) but for the last two days he hasn't wanted the afternoon one. It could just be that I wasn't sitting down for him to be reminded, have been pretty busy. See what happens tomorrow I guess.
I'm feeling a little teary at the thought of him weaning though.
DS is 22.5 months so have now been feeding him longer than did DD who gave up at 22 months when I was pregnant. Morning and Evening only unless I am at home and then he feeds before day sleep. Hoping to get to 2years but have a couple of trips away with work so will have to see what he does - last time he went three days without but as soon as I was back was back to normal. Might be away more like five this time. He calls it Mo Mo and this morning after feed he said "No like Mo Mo" but tonight was asking again.
My parents although pro breastfeeding don't think I should be feeding him anymore and have mum and dad soon staying with us. Personally I think is just because mum never fed past about 15 months - I wish they didn't think it but at least they don't pressure me and are generally quite silent in their disapproval.
Thank you all for the replies :)
I'm thinking about giving up with my big girl. I feel like it's ruining our relationship - every conversation seems to start with "have some milk?" and I'm not really enjoying it anymore. But that's pretty one-sided, she just loves it so much, and I have always wanted to go down the self-weaning route. Just having a bit of a hard time, I guess. I've already wound her back to only (!) 4 feeds a day, max - when she wakes up and when she's going to sleep. So if she doesn't have a sleep, she doesn't get boob. It's out and out bribery to have a sleep, but I am mostly OK with that :D
maybe make set times. sort of like you have but do it with an amount that your comfortable. and make it really clear that then is the only time/place so she doesn't ask.
Tandem feeding is really tough. I too had to wind back on feeds, so that i was able to continue. The changeover period was rough, but once DD got used to and accepted it, it became easier again. I also questioned whether the benefits of feeding were outweighed by how i was feeling. As DS got older, i was able to be more active and found that DD was more able to go without feeds because i wasn't sitting down in the feeding position.
I'm still not sure whether long term weaning is better than a more concentrated term of weaning. Now i am kinda at the end, i am content that i kept going, but if i was in the same position again i reckon i could also be happy stopping earlier.
take care of yourself whatever you decide.
I don't want to feed her any more. :(
I really really don't. Her attachment is getting really lazy and I am constantly ending up sore. I can't relax. And adding to other stress at the moment it just isn't working. I engendered told dh tonight I want him to do the whole night thing now. :(
Hate that I'm reacting this way but I just don't know if I have the patience to do it any differently. She was asleep and is now awake again and I'm so frustrated. She can easily go to sleep without boob but refuses. Sigh.
that's tough BG. But you have put in 4 fantastic years!!! you need to feel comfortable and enjoy it, and if you don't it is best to stop. you don't want bf to have a dark miserable side to it, when it is something beautiful and a special bond you and E have shared for so long. I have no advice, but wanted to offer some cyber love and support.
Aww, BG, that sounds really hard. I can tell DD to fix her attachment by saying "ahhh" and getting on properly, which she does, but I'm sure you've probably tried. You'll make the right choice.
I spoke to an ABA counsellor today about my own situation and I'm feeling heaps better. And my DD1 looks to be fighting a bug or cold, and that was ll it took for me to remember how much I love breastfeeding, even though it isn't always fun.
HotI - Tandem feeding IS hard. I wish I'd known; I probably would have done things differently. But thanks :)
Breastfeeding 'strike' at 17 months? Actually not really a strike, he just wants to beat up on me at the same time and when I wont let him he won't feed. He feeds ok overnight, when he is sleepy, but day feeds are pretty ordinary. I kinda remember DD doing it, but her desire for a feed was greater and so if I stopped the feed until she stopped the pinching etc then she would still feed. Any advice?
DS was a shocking pincher. I would just get his hand and stroke saying gentle and if repeated end the feed. If he cried I would repeat gentle hands, get him to stroke, then try again. If he repeated feed was over. It sucks massively because it contributed to night waking for us ie he wanted to catch up on feeds at night.
Now at 26 months he just wants to nipple tweak the whole time and I'm completely jack of it.
I'm on the path to weaning. Having fed every single day for 4.5 years straight I'm over it. DS is lucky to get a feed a day at the moment and he is hating it, but I've hit a wall and I can't really see the benefits of continuing. I certainly won't be feeding through another pg and tandem feeding. While it was fine while I did it, it was very draining in the long term.
Ahem. Excuse the rant!
Hmmmm DD2 has cut back to three bfs a day and I'm a bit concerned that has dropped my supply a bit too.
Hot1 - How many bfs is he having in 24 hrs? Maybe try to shift his bfs to day time, ie restrict during the night? Not really sure, though!
Arcadia - hugs. By almost four yrs with DD1 I was so ready and encouraged her to stop. And that was just one child bfing! You have done so well.
DD is down to two! I weaned off one daytime feed for work and fertility reasons then had a don't offer don't refuse 'policy' for her afternoon feed, which she soon stopped so it is just first thing in the morning and I still feed to sleep... Or not to sleep but to that zoned out happy sleepy state. I thought she was weaning the first thing in the morning feed too but in the last week she's decided it's a keeper after all. After my miscarriage I was hoping she wouldn't take more feeds as I'm worried it's impeding my fertility so was hoping she would drop that feed.
I hear ya, Arcadia. I don't know that i could tandem again. I would need a break so that i started to look forward to it again for the new bub.
It's not that DS pinches, he just wants to have one hand stuck in my armpit and the other holding on to my breast. I am fine with feeding, i just don't want a grope to go along with it. And when i try to move his arms he starts banging my chest.
He only has 1 or 2 feeds overnight, usually 1 and then sometimes an early morning one which gets him back to sleep and then i sneak out. He is probably having 5 feeds in 24 hours, but last few days only 1 or 2 are good feeds, and these are late ones.
I am scared that he will wean, but then because i am also kinda looking forward to it, scared that i will do something to cause him to wean, and then i will regret it. i am probably a bit confused cos of DD recently weaning (i think - she had 1 small feed last week).
DD also has her first cold when she is not breastfeeding. She never liked ebm so i can't even offer her that. I feel like i have lost the security blanket/extra immune factors that breastfeeding gave her.
Got told last night "mummy, there no milk". :(
I want to wean but wanted it to be a mutual thing. Not my milk just drying up. No idea why either :(
Bubba BG? ;)
HotI, I would just keep doing what you're doing. Don't let him beat up on you. As long as you've got the energy to stop him, stop him, and hopefully it will pass.
My DD jammed her finger in the bathroom door last night, and I just felt so bad for her. Was still feeling bad at 4 am so let her have her first night feed in months. Hoping she doesn't want to repeat the episode!
I'm still not loving feeding her. 90% of the time when she asks for it I'm groaning on the inside.
BG - :hug: I think it's rarely truly mutual. You've given her a wonderful gift.
HotI, I would just keep doing what you're doing. Don't let him beat up on you. As long as you've got the energy to stop him, stop him, and hopefully it will pass.
My DD jammed her finger in the bathroom door last night, and I just felt so bad for her. Was still feeling bad at 4 am so let her have her first night feed in months. Hoping she doesn't want to repeat the episode!
I'm still not loving feeding her. 90% of the time when she asks for it I'm groaning on the inside.
BG - :hug: I think it's rarely truly mutual. You've given her a wonderful gift.
Sincerely doubt it - have lost two more since E, and neither time had any drama with milk supply:
i think it's probably due to a crap load of stress at the moment with work/health stuff - and that it's not as comfortable to feed on that side for either of us - so she opts for the other side so demand just isn't there
i had a bit of a cry last night. DH asked me why - i said because it's the only thing that i did for her that was purely ME. no intervention. i couldn't get and stay pregnant, had to have a c/s due to issues - BF was the one thing my body did that was natural and right and ALL ME. and now there will be nothing else that ONLY I can do for her. it might not be the same to have Daddy cuddle her if she is hurt, but he CAN. he can't BF - that has always been just me. so i'm sad.
and realistically, i think it was a moment of accepting no more baby days. ever. kwim?
Oh BG :hug:
For what it's worth I think you've done an amazing, amazing job. That's an incredible BF journey.
Oh BG totally understand, I'm still breastfeeding DS yet I got upset the one day DD didn't ask for a feed. Not sure what I'll do when it's all finished!
Still tandem feeding my two and am now almost 18weeks pregnant. Supply has dropped but kids both still happy to feed. DD I kick off early as its more uncomfortable feeding her than it is DS, she understands though and all I have to do is start counting, mind you I still feel bad for that!
bit random but I've noticed teeth marks on my boob from Spocks top front teeth. just from normal feding. not hurting at all so should I address it? its not hurting and she is getting what she needs. how do you explain better attachment to a 12mth old?
Lol TT I've had that with each of my others when they got teeth. No pain just 'rest' marks.
My 16mo DD who was having 20-minute feeds at night suddenly started taking 1-2 hours. Would that be because she's getting teeth? It's the eye teeth and the last parts of 2 molars.
Phe is she drinking all that time? Maybe she's just being cheeky and hanging out on your boob?
Yeah she is drinking. I take her off when she starts to nibble and switch sides. If I try to put her back to bed too early she cracks it or goes to bed but then cries again 20 min later. I was up and down for4 hours with her last night :(
argh - hate when feeding like that happens - but it ALWAYS happened when dd was teething - it was kinda a comfort suck, but she was actively drinking as well - esp if i tried to take her off - she'd re-attach and feed heaps more!
dd asked for boob again the night after i posted my sooky "no milk" post, and apparently i have heaps again. wtf? i don't know if she was being lazy, or if something happening at the time reduced milk amounts? i dunno! but now we're back to every night - and mornings if mummy doesn't have to work. we've talked about it - she reckons she has to have mumma milk at least til daddy's birthday (end of next month) - i'm ok with that - she is due vaccinations and i figure boob is a sure fire way to get us some sleep if she is unsettled... yup, purely selfish reasons for me to keep going at this point...
when i was picking dd up from kinder, the kinder teacher said 'i have to show you something'. i went in to her office, and she had some photos of the kids that day. She had a photo of dd who was holding something up at her chest under her t shirt. DD was using the resuscitation mask and 'expressing' milk with it. She told the teacher she was making mummy milk. so cute.
Hmm maybe teething then. I notice DD ups the night feeds around ovulation for me too, or just after.
Hotl that is so adorable.
Oh and BG lol at your little one's inclination to bargain and reason!
Hi all, can I join? Pretty excited to have got this far :)
Well done, b!
Still going here at 15 wks pg, but noticing more sensitivity. Could just be that DD2 used me as a dummy from being woken too early while we were staying at Mum's last week. I hope it passes. Down to three bfs a day and i'd be happy to drop the nap time one before bub is born. Then again, it's the only time she falls asleep bfing and she's a bugger to get to nap otherwise, so maybe not!
The reality of a new bub as well is starting to loom.
Well today I hit the BF for two years mark, well sort of - I am away with work so although DS is two today he won't get a feed till Friday morning and hasn't had one since Sunday morning - he has gone this long before so am fairly hopeful it will all be fine. I didn't get to 2 years with DD as she gave up at 22 months when I was pregnant. My gut feel is he will go on having night time and sometimes morning and nap time feeds for some time - which I am happy about, there is no reason for him to stop until he decides is time, no more children for us and he and my milk cope will with breaks from feeding.. He always says "A little bit more" at end of each side and says "mmmm tasty". DD is still obsessed with touching top of them and sometimes I wonder if she would be over that if had fed for longer as feeding is preferable to hands down top everytime she sits on my lap.
Congrats beannaithe & wysiwyg!
They are so cute when they start saying things like that. DD pats the top of my breast & says "yummy yummy" with a gorgeous cheeky smile. How can I resist that! DH has the opposite opinion though. He thinks I should have weaned as soon as she was able to ask for it verbally. But as my DS would say "silly Daddy!".
Welcome and congrats!!:
DD1 (4 and a half) still cuddles 'milkies' and she weaned after 3 without encouragement so I don't think it matters when or how they wean, they are just magically comforting!! Congrats on two years :):