Breastfeeding Beyond 12 Months

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Welcome and congrats!!



DD1 (4 and a half) still cuddles 'milkies' and she weaned after 3 without encouragement so I don't think it matters when or how they wean, they are just magically comforting!! Congrats on two years :)

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That is good to know as I always wondered - I didn't encourage her to wean but thought maybe she would have gone longer if I hadn't been pregnant. I don't mind at home - I just wish she wouldn't shout "I want to touch boobies" when we are on the tram :-) I am sure she now does it in purpose - I need to learn not to react - is such a habit for her she puts her hand there without thinking then I think it turns into a bit of fun for her watching me squirm when she starts talking about it. In winter it also stretches my tops.

I was trying to make myself wait until tomorrow to post, but I'm too impatient, so I'm doing it tonight. So, as of tomorrow, I've been breastfeeding for 6 years straight. I would never have thought that I'd have been "that" mum, but I apparently I am :) Spread over 2 children (the 2nd is still going), it's 2192 days, and who knows how many litres :)

Congrats Bhoysgirl! What an amazing achievement!

wow! Fantastic B!

G's latch has totally gone to the dogs. Can teething do this?

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G's latch has totally gone to the dogs. Can teething do this?

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I've found ds2 does this and ouch the underside of my nipple cause that's where he digs in his teeth. Thankfully he only does one side at a time ; can't wait for whichever teeth/tooth comes through next.

Congrats Bhoysgirl! That's a huge achievement!

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G's latch has totally gone to the dogs. Can teething do this?

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Yep. their latch can change as their mouth changes with the addition of teeth. The good thing with older babies is that you can talk to them and encourage a bigger mouth (like a lion!) and work with them to try to adjust it. If her mouth is sore, you can also offer a cold face washer for her to suck on before she feeds. it can reduce bub biting down because the cold numbs her mouth a little.

Spock still comfort feeds for hours. Sometimes I really struggle to get her off the breast. like a newborn. is this common in 13 1/2 mth olds? im not crazy worried just want to know if it's normsl or not

DD still does that sometimes at 27 months TT40, usually in the early hours of the morning. And if I say no more, she throws a tanty and screams loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood.

DH & I had a bit of a fight over me still feeding DD the other day :(

Nice to know others have it.
What was his issue with it?

That I'm still doing it! He only sees the negatives. Every negative that anyone could think of, he believes. You know the ones - she's two, she's just manipulating you, you should have stopped when she started asking for it, she might sleep through if you stop feeding her, she'll still be feeding when she's 18 blah blah. He ignores that fact that she has barely ever been sick, her brain development will no doubt be awesome due to my attentiveness, the fact it is biologically normal for a child her age to feed and need mum for comfort. At her age, DS was still waking through the night. I was dealing with him plus a newborn! He's now sleeping through. I'm sure, given time she will too. It doesn't really matter what he thinks, I'm the mum & I'm the one who deals with her during the night. He's not willing to give up his sleep to do sleep training because I refuse to do it so I'll do it my way lol. It worked for DS. Even though he wasn't BF, he still had bottles and dummies and lots of mummy cuddles back then and look at him now. He's an awesome independent sleeper. I also told him when he's prepared to do the reading and research on what's best for DD (rather than his wants), then I might listen to him. But as I am the one who has done hours upon hours of reading books, websites, forums for what is best, then he can just shut up and lump it. I might whinge & complain about it at times and wish she would wean but I'd never force her before she's ready. My, that turned into an almighty rant. Oops :/

We haven't had it with bfing, but parenting disagreements are not uncommon, Rowellen. ;) I feel for you, especially since you'd like to complain about the parts of it you have every right to complain about!

Sounds like you have all the positives sorted and I'm sure you're more than ready to point them out to him. My DP is dreading having a nb in the house with our high-maintenance toddler, because he's worried he'll have to do the night time settling for her! FWIW, I night weaned both my girls by 18 mths (although I have a feeling pg has contributed to it for DD2 who would was a much more committed night time bfer than DD1) and continued to bf at other times (DD1 for more than 2 years after that, DD2 is still going atm), so if you do feel that there's a compromise, night weaning won't necessarily end your bfing relationship with your DD. But if you're fine with continuing to bf her during the night, there's no need to stop.

Girls how on earth do you night wean? DD won't have a bar of it. If she wakes she tends to be hysterical and only a BF settles her.

I'm only feeding DD once or twice now. She's 17 months. I feed before bed at night and if she wakes during the night, which is not always. I thought she wasn't really taking anything at her bedtime feed as it *feels* like she is just nibbling or lightly sucking and my boobs look pre-pregnancy if not smaller, but we missed a bedtime feed this week and by the middle of the next day they felt so swollen and full so she must be drinking a bit.

Thanks Jennifer, I've been trying to gently night wean. DD won't have a bar of it. Sometimes she'll protest for a minute or two and go back to sleep but other times she launches into a full on tantrum and that's not fun for anyone. It doesn't bother me usually. Only the nights, like last night when she wakes every 2 -3 hours asking for boobie. It's like having a newbie again. But we co-sleep so it's minimal disturbance really.

Ladylove, my DD's 27 months and still feeds during the night. I tend to give in because it's easier than dealing with the screaming and groping. I found it easier with DS to night wean because he was on formula by that stage. I reduced the amount in the bottle gradually then just stopped and gave him a dummy and patted him. Not so easy with the breast. You can remove the breast from bub's mouth but it's still there. My DD rarely settles for DH if I'm home. She just screams louder & louder. But having your DH help could work for you.

With DD1, she really wasn't bfing at night for quite a while and then went back to it around 16 mths. I ended it by offering water and snuggling. DD1 is an easy going child and after a few nights of fuss, she stopped.

DD2 is not so easy going and consistently fed during the night until about 17 mths. She suddenly started eating more food and I cut down her bfs to three a day and none overnight. Pg may have helped. Ironically, where it used to take me ages to settle her if she woke with a bf, now I just need to lie her back down after a quick cuddle. She still has occasional wakeful (awful) nights, but they're a lot less frequent now.

Thanks girls. I've decided not to bother night weaning especially as she doesn't wake every night and I can handle one feed if she does. Also, out of the blue she is refusing her bedtime feed! Point blank refuses or has a suck or two then sits up and it's all over. I had been thinking of fully weaning that feed but now that she's saying 'no' I am not sure I'm ready! No idea why she's refusing all of a sudden.

So DD still doesn't want to feed at night! She didn't even try. Last night she had the smallest amount. Tonight I asked her if she wanted mama milk and she resolutely shook her head then fell asleep! I've realised I'm not ready to give up that feed. It's odd that she won't feed as otherwise she is extra clingy at the moment- follows me everywhere, cries if DH picks her up, and won't go to sleep at night without a huge fight because she wants to be with me. I would have thought she'd be mad about BF since she can't get enough of me right now but that's not the case. :(

It's been a while - there has been a lot of catching up to do!

My DD decided to wean herself, 3 days shy of 17 months. I decided to stop offering, but had a no refusal theory. And then suddenly, when I was about 3 weeks pregnant, she stopped asking. I had always intended to wean if I became pregnant again (though not until about 12 weeks), so when she eventually did ask again, I explained to her that she didn't need it anymore, which resulted in a small tanty, picked her up, gave her breakfast, and all was forgotten and forgiven.

TT40 (and I think someone else as well, sorry I've forgotten who!) DD was a really quick feeder, 10 minutes per side at 11 days old, sometime after she was 12 months, I encouraged her to drop to 2 feeds a day (a good morning feed and a good night feed), and it was sometime after that that all of a sudden she started nursing forever...I'd often kick her off a side after 45 minutes! I had the feeling she wasn't drinking much, that it was just comfort. One night I had to be away for good night feed, so I had expressed (I got 40ml out of 2 sessions!) - I told DH to give her soy if she wanted more. Anyway, he gave her the meagre amount of milk, she happily drank it and then continued to suck on the teat. DH took the bottle away and she screamed blue bloody murder. He gave it back, and DD happily sucked on the end of the empty teat, and eventually smiled and let it go - proving my theory.

Even though it's been a month since her last feed, when I have her up on my hip she still fingers the lining of my favourite jumper (which is something she liked to do when she was nursing). Just because they stop the nursing, doesn't mean they can't still can't find comfort from you in non-milk forms.

BG - could it have been ovulation? That apparently can affect the supply and flavour, so maybe that was the problem - it just didn't taste as expected and the "there's no milk" was actually "there's not the milk I'm used to"? (Although I'd like to point out that while my DD weaned at 3 weeks with my current pregnancy, she never skipped a beat with the pregnancy I lost in May, so don't read too much into a correlation between supply and pregnancy!)

Ladylove - could it be a little one has snuck its way into your belly? Like I mentioned (!) DD weaned before I even officially knew I was pregnant, but a few days later she became SUPER CLINGY!!! Exactly like you described - god help anyone who attempted to get between her and her Mumma!

Luna - another name change? Anyone would think you were trying to hide from me :ROFL:

For those of you thinking of weaning - do what is best for you and your relationship with your children - you don't want to be having resentful thoughts - you can always find another way to bond with your children - I stroke DD's hair and face before I put her down to sleep, and she has just started doing the same to me when she's ready to go to bed at night - it's adorable.

For those of you having weaning forced upon you, yes, it hurts to think your bubba doesn't need that anymore, but it's easier than the emotional heartbreak you might have to go through later if at some point you need to force your bub to wean! It's a transition, much like your relationships with your DP's now are not the same as the relationship you had when you were first dating in that cute-courting period. You have to let go of some of the nicer elements of that stage, but it also grows to develop into something else.

:hug: to all!

Who doesn't love a double post? (stop asking me if I want to navigate away and lose my work - of course I'm going to say no and try again!)

Congrats Cookie!

My DD1 is dumping her night feed. She's only had one for 2 of the last 7 nights. She's also stopped having a feed when she wakes up from a nap, even if I offer. And often falls asleep out and about, in the car or pram, without a boob, so some days she's down to one feed a day. It's still the first thing she says when she wakes up though "have some milk?" So I think she's still a way off weaning! Mind you, she's sick now, and DD2 is teething, so I haven't done up my bra for hours, they've had about fifty feeds each today. My boobs are floppy as! :lol:

Ladylove - my DD2 is refusing a few night feeds too! I've been mega clucky this week, though, so I sense ovulation, despite the previous endless night feeding. I had to get up and settle her on the couch last night! The COUCH! The horror! She slept well, though, I'll try it again. Because <6 feeds a night would be pretty cool. Anyway, wrong thread for that, she's only 8 months :)

Well it seems as though you are right Cookie- I'm up the duff again. A bit vulnerable as I had a very early miscarriage in May but there you go. She refused her bedtime feed last night again but woke up 2:30 am and had a small feed. But then wouldn't let me put her back to bed so we both dozed on the chair for a while then I popped her down again, she screamed one blue murder scream then promptly fell back asleep!

Ps Luna Moth DD always wants to feed more at night around ovulation for me too. She must love my ovulation flavoured milk, hate my pregnancy flavoured milk ;)

Congratulations Ladylove! I wondered if you had a little stowaway too, cos your daughter's refusal was very similar to how my kids reacted to pregnancy. Best wishes for a smooth 9months.

I am almost 12 weeks pg, and DS is a little more keen to feed than a few weeks ago. Supply is way down, but we are doing ok.

On the weekend, DD told my brother "I only drink cows milk now!", which was a bit sad. It was her first acknowledgement that she has finished, even though she hasn't had a feed for over a month. My SIL was breastfeeding her new baby under a wrap, and DD asked what she was doing, and then moved the wrap and poked her head in, kissing the baby. DD obviously has no issue with boobs and using them to feed a baby.

In the past few weeks, DD has had some issue with going #2s. it was only last night that i wondered if it could be related to weaning. she has never had any issues before. anyone whose older children have weaned, did you see similar issues? also did you add anything extra to their diet, post weaning? wondering about probiotics or fish oils or something.

Congratulations Ladylove :)

Buster will be 20 months in a few days and he is still having one feed a day, morning as soon as he gets up. The day before yesterday he refused and I was so anxious that he was giving it up for good! Last baby and all :) But then sometime in the afternoon it's like he suddenly remembered and boy did we all hear about it! So we'll see. I'm really hoping to get to 2 years.

:jawdrop: wow LL! Congratulations! Well, welcome [back] to the tandem feeding journey!

Well I'm not sure that DD will last that long! Do babies / toddlers usually return to the breast after an initial strike if you're pregnant?

Hotl I did think of you actually and I remembered you talking about BF strikes prior to finding out your were pregnant, and I remember Jen went through something similar. I didn't put two and two together until very recently though. And I'm surprised at how full my boobs are. DD did have a small feed during the night last night but I'm so full feeling.

Ladylove - I completely understand your apprehension - I also had an early miscarriage in May (I actually found out I had been pregnant because I started miscarrying), so you can imagine I am nervous, nervous, nervous!
:hug:

I wondered too, LL, but DD2 is still bfing and I'm 18 wks tomorrow. I know there's still milk, not sure how much. But I think she's enjoying the cuddles as well, especially with being home without me three days atm while I'm working. I'm pretty confident she'll keep up the morning and night time bfs throughout. The one before her nap she does without while I'm working and the only reason I still give it to her when I'm home is it sometimes puts her to sleep!

You might find your DD comes back to it after she adjusts.

She definitely does not like lefty at the moment- takes a sip, purses her lips gingerly over my nipple then shakes her head!

Double posts are for legends!

Only sign I got of pregnancy was switch feeding, and later nipple pain, so I'm no help. My personal experience is that tandem feeding kinda sucks, so I wouldn't be terribly upset if my kid weaned. Other mums seem to ace it though.

The nipple sensitivity is not fun. Some days I would be happy not to be bfing at all!

I'd say supply has dropped, but not bothered about that. DD2 eats enough to make up for it!

I lied today to a friend and said my DD has stopped nursing. I felt awful but I felt it was better then the alternative, which was feeling like I have to justify it to her. That's the first time I've ever not said I still BF, I'm finding some people go all awkward when it's mentioned I still nurse now.

How are your friends and family? Not that it should matter. Just curious.

I tend to not mention it unless directly asked. And then I'm honest. She doesn't want to give it up, it's not hurting either one of us, or anyone else. I think I must have an air of "don't mess with me" cos no one has.

Actually, I lie. One friend made a sarcastic comment about not feeding when dd is 15. I don't think she's ever copped a written (chat) lecture on natural weaning and attachment parenting, and the fact we went to hell and back to get dd as compared to her (four kids in six years) so were doing it our way in our time. I was tired and peeved and let her know. She hasn't been brave enough to mention it again.

Funny enough, less than two weeks later dd had decided she wanted out of our room. She only has boob maybe every two or three nights when she isn't quite tired enough to crash without it. She has even gone to sleep with dh when I was unwell. I guess she is doing it her way - just the way I want it to be :)

I fed my DD through pregnancy and to the age of 3, so friends and family who might have an issue with it know that their views don't really interest me and i am pretty confident in my decision. I think once you get past about 18 months, people just don't ask anymore cos they assume you have finished, realise you are a lost cause or it doesn't really matter to them anymore. I don't feel the need to tell people (if it doesn't come up) and both mine began feeding less out after 12 ish months, so some people are surprised to hear that DD fed til when she did.

Occasionally I tell people I'm still feeding both because I came across so much bewilderment around tandem feeding when I was pregnant and I kind of want to get it out there. I truly honestly don't care what people think, so it suits me to be honest. If they ask, I'll usually say "sometimes I think about giving up, but sometimes I'm really glad I still am, and mostly I like it.

I'm pretty open about breastfeeding because I want others to feel they can be too. I know I was more guarded with my first though but after 3+yrs with her, feeding through a pregnancy, tandem feeding for 6mo (till DD1 decided to wean) and now at 18mo with the second, I'm pretty comfortable with it lol. It just seems so normal to me now that I don't even think to not just mention it. When I was feeding my first 18mo, it felt like such a huge deal but now it is the opposite, it seems weird to me to think my DD2 wouldn't be feeding at 18mo... like I just forget it isn't the standard thing to do. And that really shows me the benefit of getting it out there because the more I did it, the more normal it became and I think those around me felt that ripple affect too.

Was kind of funny, the other day I ran into somebody who used to babysit me as a young child and she mentioned she saw my public breastfeeding piece that went viral earlier this year and I kind of internally braced but she started on about how proud she was. That made me a little chuffed. I've had much more positivity than negativity, thankfully and the positivity is so nice to hear sometimes!

I don't talk about it unless someone specifically asks. I think the main people who ask are my mother & MIL. Both are negative.

I had another fight with DH over it. He thinks I should just wean cold turkey. Not that easy I say. Eff em all.

I bf my DD1 until almost four years old, so I'm pretty sure my friends and family are no longer surprised by anything I do wrt bfing. ;)

I have had the odd question about how it goes if they know I bf DD2 while I'm baking no 3, but nothing negative. But as I said, everyone that knows me is beyond being shocked by my birth and bfing decisions. I actually find most people are more interested in the facts rather than the emotive aspect ITMS.