go you little red fire engine! Woot Alioops! good on YOU!

i had to giggle at the YOU being discreet part. i remember many times, when I was trying so hard to be discrete, but BILBY had other ideas!

Now she can talk (finally!) she tells me, she doesn't like feeling any part of my clothing on her face, while she is feeding, but before it was sometimes like a tug of wills, a tug of war between her and me.

Me: pushing my top down, to cover as much of breast as humanly possible
Bilby: pushing my top up, to expose as much of breast as possible
etc etc
all done silently, cos she wasn't talking (then).

It takes guts, to stick to your guns, to put your child first, when everyone around you (at the time) is of a different opinion (and happy to voice that).

i think it takes extra guts to stand up for yourself when
- you're partly exposed (like when baby latches off for a quick stickybeak around)
- when you know you're in the minority
- and esp in your case when you're effectively a sole parent much of the time, and have older kidlets to look out for (which would mean you're more distracted i guess, with more to watch out for)
So i really admire you for taking this stand Ali

we know in our hearts, we're doing what we do, for our kids, but it's like the rest of the world views our actions as the opposite - or that is how it's felt for me, sometimes in the bf-ing journey.

At 3.5yrs, bilby is slowing down her number of feeds now. Doesn't need a good night feed 100% of the time now. But sometimes will cluster feed, in an opportunistic way. Like if she's got a cold (like she's dosing herself up on good medicine ha ha), or on the non-childcare days, when she and I both have the time. She loves having a drink in the bath, on the rare times we have a bath together (usually when my back is really bad and i "let" myself have a bath.

So funny to hear her talk now (since 3 last Nov, it hasn't stopped!), i will be getting dressed e.g in my pink mat. bra, and she's telling me "i love your pink boobies mummy".

Sequoia - great to read your post. Have you ever heard of the LACTATION COOKIES? they have real brewer's yeast in them. You eat them to boost supply (plus they are so yummy, i'd be happy to eat them even if supply was fine LOL). A dear friend made me a batch, when i had dreadful gastro attack and my milk actually dried up completely for a day, god that scared me (losing my milk for a day).

I had been feeding a baby every two hours (for 18 months) and suddenly NO MILK, 24 hours is a long time. Esp when she REFUSED to drink the formula i bought from the late night chemist. i was so scared my child would get dehydrated and have to go on a drip. I know other people go thru much worse things, but personally, just one day not producing milk, was a very scarey experience for me. (but bilby didn't get gastro at all, so strong are the protective immunities of bm).

Advice on bf-ing a nb (based on what i experienced).

- do not rely on the multitude of midwives/nurses in the hospital, to help you, guide you, educated you on how to feed your child. You will get so much conflicting info, in a short amount of time, when you may or may not be at your physical peak. Instead, find ONE person, who will help you BEFORE, DURING and AFTER the labour. Consistent info is worth so much more.

- join ABA whilst pregnant. go to meetings WHILST PREGNANT, you'll learn heaps from what the other women say and do. just soak it up. the little mag you get when you subscribe to ABA, "Essence" is wonderful. i was too unwell to attend meetings in real life with a nb, but "Essence" would arrive in the letterbox every two months, i would read it cover to cover. excellent

- have the ABA site, La Leche League etc, in your web bookmarks - for easy ref when you need it

- know who are the Lactation consultants in your area BEFORE you need them. My friend used the Lactation Clinic at the hospy where she birthed. Mothers are only eligible to use the clinic for the first six weeks of baby's life. She happened to need their help when her child was 10 weeks old. They knocked her back.

- do not assume that hospy's with "breastfeeding friendly accreditation" are actually that. I went to one of those, and STILL had to explain "skin to skin", "the breast crawl" and other very basic concepts to the staff. I had to fight (when VERY ill, after a c-section that went horribly wrong) for my nb NOT to be fiven formula as her first drink.

- get your support crew on board. Tell your dh/partner/birthing buddy exactly what you need from them - even if it seems obvious to you.
E.g to remind you to eat and drink, to bring you food and drink cos you'll be busy with bubs, to know where your breastpads are kept, to help you with pillows or whatever helps your back, to remind you to relax your shoulders (easy to hunch up when you're concentrating /trying so hard), keep visitors out/to a minimum so you you have time to get the feeding established - so hard to do that with constant coming and going of visitors (let alone all the hospital staff just doing their jobs).

- skin to skin contact IMMED after birth is very important and helps the bf-ing bond

- giving baby very easy access to the breast, is a great way to help babies latch too. it's alot easier at home, where you can be topless, or have a buttoned shirt, unbuttoned, if you feel like it.

- for modesty sake, i loved the nuvo maternity bf-ing clothing and also "almost mum" tops.

- cloth breastpads totally rock, saving you the "wet circles on the tshirt" look. Wash them in a lingerie washbag, then you won't lose your pairs.

- by educating yourself, listening to other mums talk at aba meetings, you'll realise MOST newborns have some kinds of bf-ing hurdles esp at the start. but the wonderful normalising thing of hearing these stories, is that they happen to lots of people, and theyere are many things you can try , to get OVER those hurdles.

not all things, are possible for all people, but i found it heartening, that there are lots of things you can try.

non-aba people are very quick to say "oh well, that's it then, you'll have to use formula", as if there is nothing to try. I wish GP's and child nurses who know stuff all about bf-ing, would just be realisic and refer people to the ABA and lactation consultants, INSTEAD of saying "well that's it then". So many mums get talked OUT of bf-ing that way.

I had a midwive who was very realistic with me, she prepared me that i would likely encounter bf-ing hurdles, but she would do whatever she could to guide me thru them. I felt very reassured. and then when things DID prove difficult, knowing i had someone to ask, kept me hanging in there. in our case, took about four months for it to settle down. Many times, i would say "i will keep going for 24 hours, i cannot say after that". but we did keep going. thanks to the support of the midwife (at first), ABA, a lactation consultant and the constant support i got online, from places like belly belly.

cos in my mother's group - no support
in my life - no i knew, that i saw, was bf-ing
no relatives had bf
so i had to find my support elsewhere

all the best Sequoia, i hope it works out for you, and if it doesn't, just your attitude, that you WANT to bf, that you want to TRY to bf, i believe that in itself, is a gift for your babe.

it's not a competition
whether you end up breastfeeding for three minutes, three days, three weeks, three months, or three years, it's all a win for your bub and you.