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In a little town there is no parents room lol.
No hiding here....If I'm at work I do it there - I work with mainly all men and they are surprisingly supportive.
Saying that the only person I won't feed in front of is my FIL. He gives me the creeps....
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Funny how there is always one person you wont feed in front of...BIL for me...
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
for me, using the parent's room is about
- are the chairs comfy and clean?
- are there bright lights right above? cos that means my baby would have bright lights in her eyes when in the feeding position (Marion Westfield is chronic for this)
- how close are the chairs to the disposable nappy bins?
- does the parents room smell ok? get cleaned regularly?
- what is the access like? if where i have to sit to breastfeed, means everyone entering the parents room, to change their bub, take toddlers to teh loo, use the microwave etc, is walking in front of me, i dont' find that relaxing or quiet
- is there room to park the pram without inconveniencing others who will come in after me
- how close is the parent's room, to me, when baby starts yelling for a feed
and this didn't apply to me (with only one child) but if i had more than one, maybe i would like a parent's room with a toddler play area, with a "fence and gate" so i could put my toddler in there, not worry about them running off, and we could have eye contact.
At the start, with my nb, i was very unwell after a complicated c-section, and just to survive day to day, was a big thing, so i was so focussed on feeding my child, and getting thru the pain of my abdominal pain, modesty was the last thing on my mind. I lived in breastfeeding camisoles, which are not very modest for the top half of the breast, they cover the tummy, but not much else when you are feeding your bub.
it took me a while to source breastfeeding friendly clothing that both worked and was in my price bracket. Now i have that sorted, it's so easy to feed in public and be much more modest about it, than i was initially (plus now i am not in constant pain). The lack of breastfeeding friendly swimwear is one i haven't sorted, but the rest of the year, it's fine now.
my baby, like most everyone else's, also went thru the stage of being terribly distracted, latching on and off, taking my nipple with her! and that i found pretty embarrassing, whilst feeding in public. not to mention the "pushing mummy's top UP" phase she went thru. I would push it down, she would push it up, etc.
with feeding in foodcourts, nowhere to rest your arm, i got such sore arms feeding, i looked for sofas so i could rest one arm on the sofa arm. hard to find that in a food court. i just didn't find food court seating very bf-ing friendly. Plus i got my purse knicked once in a foodcourt WHILST i was bf-ing my bub. I was so new at bf-ing, trying to make sure i was doing it right, so whilst i was busy staring at my baby, with my handbag by my side, someone took off with my purse. i never got it back. Foodcourts are so open, i felt very vulnerable, being stolen from, whilst i was tryign to feed my child. Yes i should have zipped my bag up (which i normally do) but i was tired and feeling a bit overwhelmed.
i found the random sofas at shopping centres, the comfiest places to bf. (in preference to the food court chairs). it's too expensive to sit in a cafe EVERY time your bub wants a feed.
i'm feeding a child over two now, i do it, cos it's what she requests, but i dislike being quizzed as to WHY i'm "still feeding a child that age". Really, it's our business, and if strangers cannot see how healthy my child is, that really is their problem. I do it for her, not me. The older she gets (and still requests mummy's milk) the more important the bf-ing friendly clothing is to me. i never had it in the first year, never thought i'd make it to one month, let alone over two years!
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My reasons for not feeding in public were the same as Cookiemonster & Ang...big breasts make it so hard to be discreet.
Having said that, there were places I would feed, one was up at DS1's classroom when I was up there helping out, I would sit in the reading chair. The kids knew what I was doing & it was no big deal.
Also it got easier as we went along, once Ds2 got the hang of it I didn't have to fiddle so much to get him on, so there were times & places where I felt comfortable doing it.
But on the whole I had to get the whole boob out, I also have to hold my nipple away from bubs nose and positioning is harder too. I always looked at women feeding in public who made it look so easy & envied them
for me, i fed where i was comfortable...
obviously in the beginning, i preferred to feed privately (before we both got the hang of it) as she was older, i was happy to feed wherever, but i was more comfortable being discreet about it- not to the point where i made myself uncomfortable though.
every now and then i did come across a situation where i didnt feel comfortable feeding, so i would go somewhere else.
i have used parents rooms. some of these rooms are just fantastic! others, are still a little cramped/make do type rooms. id never sit in there if i felt it was unclean or whatever.
this time around, i have to keep in mind i have DD to watch as well.. so if that means we have to go into a parents room, well so be it! there is no point me sitting somewhere where i cant keep an eye on DD1!
2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Yep, out and about in public here tooWe did do a stint in the parents room, when Jazz went through her distracted pull-off-and-flash-me-to-the-world-every-5-seconds stage, but now she knows if she pulls off, thats it, no more boobies! lol So we're back to public bfing. Anywhere, anytime. I used to be able to bf walking in the sling but shes a bit heavy for that now! lol So i just find a comfy seat, Zarraffas (sp? I think thats what its called?) have been hugely supportive! Always let me bf in their comfy comfy chairs without buying something. I usually do
but its nice to jnow I dont have to!
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With DS1, I started out only feeding in feeding rooms if there was one nearby. But overtime I became more and more comfortable with feeding anywhere. By the time DS2 came along, getting two kids into a feeding room seemed like too much hard work, so I usually just sat down where ever I was and fed. I have fed on the floor of most of the shops at our local shopping centre! One time in a supermarket a staff member brought me a chair - unnecessary but very thoughtful!
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I have never fed in a parents room, and to be honest the ones here aren't very nice and I struggle with myself to even use them to change nappies.
DS isn't BF any more but when he was I would feed anywhere and everywhere.
I remember one time I was BFing in the food court while eating my lunch. Now there is nowhere in the food court that's away from everyone else, no hidden booths etc. so it's not like I could have been any more discreet than I was. I had several dirty looks, and one disapproving MOTHER with THREE children behind her walked past and muttered under her breath "People are trying to eat here!". I promptly looked her in the eyes and said MY SON IS EATING TOO. I got some smiles from people around me and she stormed off in a huff leaving her kids to run after her.
I love seeing mothers BF in public, I'm a big fan of the "I might take offense to you shovelling your fries and greasy hamburger in your mouth so fast you don't taste it - but do I tell you to go do it elsewhere?" If I see a mother BFing - I give her a smile as I walk past. I hope it doesn't seem stalkerish but I would have loved more people to give me approving smiles.
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The first time I BF'd in public was *horrible* - it was in Centrelink while trying it lodge the paperwork for the baby bonus/Medicare stuff, and DD2 was less than 72 hours old. So, we were still trying to get the hang of stuff, and I couldn't really go anywhere as I was needed to fill out the paperwork, so I settled into one of the comfy chairs in the waiting area, covered myself completely with a flannelette wrap (as I do when BFing in public), and then had some disgusting dole-bludging creature take a seat right opposite me and he proceeded to sit there blatantly LEERING at me and hoping to cop a squiz at something. It was only when DH (who was standing in line waiting for us to be served) noticed him and came over to give him the death stare, that the guy got up and went outside.
Needless to say, that little experience really put me off trying to BF in public. Thankfully the main place I go in town is the mall, and they've just recently had big renos done to their toilets and parents' room, so the parents' room is quite nice - soft lighting, comfy armchairs, private rooms with locks on the doors for BFing mums (complete with a TV to keep me amused, and a little playpen-type thing for the likes of DD1), smells and looks very clean and comforting... so I go there whenever I can. I prefer the privacy even though I go to great (sometimes uncomfortable) lengths to be discreet when feeding in public - I wear a singlet under my shirt so that I can pull the shirt up and the singlet down and there's only a couple of inches of boob hanging out, rather than pulling my shirt down/up and having my entire breast/stomach exposed, and I throw a 110x100cm wrap over my shoulder before I even begin adjusting my clothing so nobody gets even the tiniest glimpse of breast/baby feeding.
I had to feed DD2 in a McDonald's restaurant yesterday and not only was it really uncomfortable (a booth seat for a bit of extra privacy, my arms were so sore and the table was too close to the seat to be comfy), but a pair of old biddies having lunch with their grandkids gave me the looks and commented loudly about how, 'There are CHILDREN here, how rude' etc... (again, I was COMPLETELY covered by a blanket, how on earth would their grandkids have even known I was breastfeeding?!)... but the parents' room there looked awful, and I wanted to eat my chocolate croissant and drink my latte while feeding!
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I'm actually more comfortable feeding out and about than I am in front of ppl I know esp male friends and family members.
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I agree totally! Especially my FIL...
I have never been to a parents room (and have never even looked for one).
I went to the toilets once in a restaurant, but then changed my mind when we kept getting interupted by all the people needing to use it, so I just walked back to my table with her attached!Some people looked pretty shocked too!
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If there is a decent parents room available and I am not in the middle of something else (like say - lunch) then I will use it because it means the seats are more comfy. I dislike the ones with little cubicles and curtains (although I understand some women prefer to be that hidden) but its like saying we shouldn't even bf in front of other bfing mothers!
But if there isnt one or its crap or I am sitting down to a meal myself or shopping or any number of things I go out in public to do - I will feed my baby. I have gotten my share of comments but meh. I remember once in the Penrith Plaza food court being asked "Do you have to do that here"? I mean seriously - You are bloody well eating in public! I have to sit there and see you chew on a cheeseburger.
Isnt it funny how society will only ever ask you to starve your baby in the name of comfort. Let the baby scream, but god forbid we have less than 20 different shops full of ready cooked food available at a moments notice in a shopping centre. Lets see them buy a steak, pull out the hot plate and have to prepare it before eating it - in the middle of a shopping centre. Or maybe they can leave home with ready made steaks in steak warmers. Then they can go and sit in the fully enclosed "eating room" so no one has to watch them chewing.
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oooooh well said hun!!!
I'm shocked and saddened that many of you have had negative comments made to you by other women!!It's people like that who need to change their attitudes. Obviously they didn't BF and have a problem with it and need to get over their own issues huh. That's sad they are like that.
It's good reading all your posts. Like most of you, I too will use a parents room if it's a nice one but unfortunately the shops in our areas don't have the nicest parents rooms or they are so tiny and pokey and lonely I don't like to use them! Or they stink like poo! Blurgh...Or like someone else said, they are hidden away in a dark corridor somewhere out of sight!!! No thanks. I find those parents rooms with the private cubicles kinda strange.... like being hidden away from everything! I used one the other day for the first time as I was changing DD's nappy and was there anyway but it was so boring sitting in there on my own feeding and staring at the wall LOL
I will BF wherever it's convenient for us at the time.
I can see why parents rooms are great for those with a toddler and baby especially the ones with the gated play area. the parents room I was in today has that and I'll probably use them ALOT when baby #2 comes along.
And I agree when someone said those foodcourt chairs aren't the comfiest!!! Hell no! They are shocking.... I'm glad DD only takes 5-10mins to feed these days!!!
There is a shopping centre I go to regularly for the groceries and there is a chemist in it and its quite a big chemist and has some nice comfy soft couches towards the corner of the chemist so i just feed DD in there now!!! And the staff don't mind (nor should they) and the baby health nurse is there too which makes it handy! I don't use the parents rooms as they are so small. I did in the first few weeks as I wasn't very confident and DD wouldnt attach properly etc.
Cheeky Monkey - great comment!! If only i can remember that incase someone says something to me one day....
Heaven - me too! I much prefer to BF in front of strangers than family/friends.... however recently I overcame my fear of feeding in front of FIL and i just do it now.... I dont care anymore!!!! hahaha
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I feed where ever its convenient. My favourite at the moment is while Im browsing the books in angus and robertson. I can feed while walking and have done so but bf is a chance to sit, so I often grab a hot chocolate and sit in a cafe if my dd needs a feed when Im out. Now she is almost 8 months feeding in public isn't as easy as she get so distracted, pulling of and leaving me exposed doesnt bother me as much as it used to but it can take forever for her to feed. Having my breasts exposed doesn't worry me but Im selconcious about my belly so i were a belly belt/ bppb tube for your belly thing under my tops (and its too darn cold here to leave my back and tummy exposed).I have only been in one parents room that didn't feel like a toilet, I get a bit claustraphobic and they often feel cramped and are windowless (I know most shops in shopping centres dont have windows but they 'feel' more spacious, jsut my irrational feeling) . I have fed on the benches in the middle of the shops but if my 2yo is with me I have to have a picnic for her to or Id be chasing her around the shops.
I have bf on a plane, at the beach, walking through the cbd, at the library, supermarket, cafe's, car, home, park, playgroup, beach (id been swimming but it didnt seem to bother her), pool.
The only dumb comment I have had was from my stepmum when we were having dinner at their local rsl who suggested I go to the ladies toilets to feed dd1 as there was a lounge in there! I said if she was uncomfertable id feed dd1 in the car but refused to use the toile yuck! She has kept her mouth shut this time with dd2
A cafe at my local westfield has a play area near it and there are normallyat least 2 or 3 mums bf bubs while watching toddlers play. I love to go there and have a drink, bf and not have to worry about dd1 getting bored or antsy.
I gave up on draping a blanket/,uslin over me to be discreet, I never got the hang of it and now its about 2 seconds and she is attatched. I guess Im lucky Ive only ever had positive comments about bf and they have generally been from people in their 70's, men and women.
My friends 2.5yo was really curious the other day when he saw me feed Aimee, I was happy for him to have a good look as he was just being a curious toddler but I thought it was sad that Im the only woman he has seen bf, his mum has a number of friends with bubs but Im the only one bf.
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any where everywhere..even while walking around shopping
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Hi Renstar,
Firstly can I say that your bubby is absolutely GORGEOUS! You must be so proud!
Secondly, to the issue of bfing in public. I bf anywhere, anytime. I have a lovely sling that allows me to feed one handed, so I can shop...tend to kids...you name it, I can do it at the same time. A person would have no idea that i am feeding.....unless they came a looked closely.
I do see MANY women up here in the NT bfing in public, all of them differently - some discreetly, and others not so. After being confronted many times in Qld about my preference for public bfing with baby #1 (once at a private party!).....I was relieved to move back to the NT where it is common place to see indigenous women with a child on hip helping itself to a meal. Personally I found Qld to be FAR more conservative and old fashioned in comparison to the NT.
My favourite memory of moving back to the NT was standing in line at the bottle shop, and in the next line was an indigenous woman with a 1ish year old on hip, who reached into her mother's slip dress and pulled out her breast, and promptly began feeding. I thought "Honey, Qld as a state could learn much from you!"
I certainly would not bare my entire breast in public to feed my baby, but I have seen many women do so at shops etc. I have a good friend that prefers this mode of feeding, and have had lunch at a restaurant with her when she did exactly this to feed her baby. No one even blinked an eyelid.
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I'm not breastfeeeding any more as mt daughter weaned herself, but when I was breastfeeding, I would just feed anywhere. I would feed sitting on a chair in the middle of the shopping centre, in the chemist, walking through the supermarket, in the library, waiting in line at the bank or post office... and I never bothered to cover up either. I did it discreetly and I dont have big breasts, and if people dont like seeing a baby being breastfed, they dont have to look. I remember being in Target when Claire was about 2 weeks old and my MIL was with me, she kept trying to get me to cover myself with a muslin wrap, and I kept taking it off because I didnt want to hide under the wrap.
I never really got any nasty comments. People would look as they walked past, other mums would smile sometimes. One mum walked past and said 'good on you' or something to that effect.
At my local (Very small) shopping centre, the parent room is so pathetic. There is barely enough room to even sit down in there. I used the room one to change a nappy, but never again because it was really bad. The big shopping centre near me has 2 biggish parent rooms which I have used before but they are in inconvenient locations so I dont use them much unless Claire has a really nasty nappy to change.
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Butterfly - aww thanks heapsYes I am very proud indeed
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