thread: Breastfeeding question...

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    593

    Breastfeeding question...

    Hi girls,

    Please don't shoot me for this post.

    A bit of background... I couldn't feed ds1 due to his tongue tie and my cracked nipples etc... we tried everything under the sun and nothing worked. I expressed until about 2-3mts then after that he was on formula.

    Anyway... this time has been a different story, ds2 took to the boob like a champion. This is great, I was over the moon, the proudest mum in the planet.... until now.

    I love him, I love the fact that I can feed him, but I need a break!!! I'm soooo tired, just exhausted! I feel soooo guilty saying that coz he sleeps all night but he's awake ALL day! Give or take 1 or 2 20min naps here and there. I know I should be grateful I have a baby who sleeps all night and is easy to feed but I just don't at the moment. I've been in tears on and off the last 2 days, I'm a fairly social person but I crave my own space and company. One of my favourite things to do was to go sit in a coffee shop on my own for an hour or two. Now, I know I can still do this but I'm time restricted which means I don't relax and all I do is think about ds2. I've tried the bottle with EBM and formula and he won't take either, I've also tried a bunch of diff bottles and teats. He takes a dummy fine just not a bottle.

    Will this feeling pass? Did anyone else feel like this or am I just an ungrateful freak?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Oct 2007
    Middle Victoria
    8,924

    You are not alone there, sister. It is hard when bub doesn't sleep and you don't get an hour to yourself.

    My DD is a little older, and in the past month (from 6 months old) i have been feeding her water in a sippy cup or cup and her ability to drink this way is much improved since the start of the month. i am hoping this will now extend to being able to drink ebm from a cup or sippy cup so that i can take a break-and still know she will be able to drink. Hopefully your little man will also soon be interested in trying other ways of drinking.

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add ~clover~ on Facebook

    Sep 2007
    travelling
    9,557

    I had alot of moments like that with DS. It is hard. At 5 months you might be able to try a cup. Or what if you feed, then go out straight after for an hour, so you're home for the next feed? Not the same I guess, but better than nothing.
    Has someone else tried to feed him? I've heard they'll usually refuse a bottle from mum coz they can smell the real goods right there. Someone else might have more success??

  4. #4
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Brisbane
    6,683

    That is a very tiring age hun Babies take a lot of time and energy and even when they sleep through the night you need a break during the day. It's very hard when they don't sleep well during the day.

    I second the idea of a sippy cup. My boys drank well from one from about 3 months - they were so not bottle drinkers either. Also, at Logan's age he would be fine to go 2 or 3 hours every now and then while you enjoy a coffee and quiet. His carer could offer him EBM or water in a sippy cup or a cup held to his mouth if he got thirsty, and if he needed it he would drink. I'm sure the novelty and attention of someone different would keep him occupied until you returned.

    You are doing a wonderful job of breastfeeding him. It is ok to say you need some time. And it's ok to take that time. He will be fine hun and you will feel so much better for it.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Nov 2009
    1,714

    couldnt leave without giving you a
    you are definately not alone!! i think every mum feels the same at some point whether they are breast feeding or not, i no i do. DS is BF'd and takes EBM from a bottle like a champ but even though my supply is fine i cant express very much only usually enough for one feed sometimes not even that which means i cant leave him for very long either so it does my head in. im sure the feeling will pass and you will find a way to get some time to yourself, because you need it, we all do at times. thinkin of you hunni

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Add UntoldAngel on Facebook

    Nov 2009
    Between concrete walls
    1,885

    You're not alone. Mr P sleeps all night but is up 95% of the day and feeds every 2hrs. Sometimes I just want a break so I feel like I've done something other than sit on the lounge.
    As the others have said, someone else trying to feed him or a sippy cup might work. Have you tried giving him some EBM in a bottle halfway through a feed?
    you're doing a wonderful job!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    593

    Thanks so much girls! Some days I feel like screaming into a pillow..... then they look up at you all doe eyed and give you that gummy grin and my heart melts all over again!

    Glad to know I'm not the only one!!! Dh is home from work on Monday so I might give ds2 a good feed then go for a walk to the shops and have a coffee on my own.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Jul 2008
    summer street
    2,708

    I found once DD was on solids it was much easier to leave her. She learnt to take a sippy cup from my DH, and then would take milk in it, which helped.

    This is such a short phase really, it won't be long before he's too interested in playing to breastfeed, and you'll have some more space.

    That feeling of being touched-out really sucks. I still get it some days here.

    I would recommend a regular outing each week...can you do yoga or go to the gym once a week...even if its after he's asleep? Or can your DH take him for a walk in the pram each saturday morning or something, so you KNOW you get some space each week. That really helped me.

  9. #9
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Even if he doesn't take EBM, he can still survive without you for a few hours. There's probably at least one period during the day when he's a bit more settled than others...?
    It is very normal to feel this way - take some time out. Perhaps you could arrange to meet someone for a coffee, or have your hair done, or something else...?

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Jan 2007
    7,197

    I was just telling a GF who has a 3 mth old last night that I really think things start to ease up around 6 mths. That is probably small comfort when you need time out now and I agree with the other posters that having some time out for you is a great idea even if it's just to have a coffee and read a trashy mag or something.

    Once bub really gets into solids and used to drinking from a sippy cut etc. it will be much easier to feel you aren't so "on call" all the time xoxo

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    *totally* not alone, babe.

    how often a day does he feed?

    and while you've tried EBM in a bottle, have you tried with someone else doing it? Sometimes Josh gets so distracted if I'm right here but giving him the bottle, and he tries to pull my top to find boobies (even when he's just been trying to feed, and there's nothing left in there ...

    I also second the idea about the cup, but warn that we tried DS with a sippy cup yesterday, and I reckon he got maybe 1/3 of the milk, which sent me to tears because at the moment breastmilk is in such short supply that I don't always get enough today for him tomorrow, and so seeing those precious milk patches everywhere but his mouth were upsetting! So if you've got a good supply, go for it! But if you don't, be warned

    but you are not an ungrateful freak. you are completely normal.


  12. #12

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    hun i know where your coming from, when Z was younger she hardly slept during the day and if she did it was after lots and lots of rocking or feeding her to sleep.. she wont take a dummy or EBM and she wouldn't stay with her dad at all... still wont.
    She's 10mths now and sleeps better during the day but she's so damn clingy and only now is she starting to let me leave a room wthout screaming, i have had so many days where i just wish i could escape for even 5min to myself, without her within a 20km radius of me.

    Don't feel bad hun we all have those days no matter how well they sleep or don't sleep...