Breastfeeding Shame.

[peanutter]

I feed at Target on the chairs for sale.

tellytubby, you are my hero.

that is beyond fabulous

[Barb Glare]

What I love is that my children (several of whom are now teenagers) are so proud that they breastfed for so long. The earliest weaner was my 2nd at 2.5 years. But they don't bat an eyelid at me telling people how long they fed for - to them it's just normal. My son was involved in a school debate the other day and over lunch after the debate the discussion turned very to breastfeeding. 6 teenage boys and their English teacher. They were all cool about it. Gave me hope that one day, if I live long enough, breastfeeding will be seen as normal

[beckoes]

I used to get all the comments, mostly from my mum, but as time has gone on i have got more confident and now when she asks me 'am i STILL breastfeeding' and i reply yes and get the usual comments of 'oh thats got to end' or 'gross' (yes....from my mum!!) i just say 'she loves it and can do it for as long as she likes!'

Be proud and confident, your doing the best for your son and dont let anyone tell you otherwise! and when you tell people your still feeding and they give you funny looks just tell them your both happy and healthy and thats all that matters! hugs to you

[helle]

within my immediate family i'm extremely lucky that it's considered normal to feed via the boobs! even my 19 year old brother doesn't batt an eyelid anymore. it's just some of those "outsiders" that like to share their opinions sometimes.

[helle]

well.. i was feeding DS today at our usual haunt (cafe in a shopping centre) and a lovely elderly lady came up to me and said that
"it's so lovely seeing a woman breastfeed without worrying about any old fuddyduddies complaing about it"
warmed the ****les of my heart... especially since DS was being rather painful and screeching at every given opportunity and I was worried it would have been bothering this lovely lady and her husband.

[MummaSue]

It's so nice to hear that Teagz!

[~*familyof3*~]

good on you hun!! I think thats awesome!! My question is why in the world did they suggest you put them to bed WITH a bottle!!!! Hello tooth decay dont they know thats a big freaking no no.

And yay for that elderly lady today there should be more of her going around i say

[Smoke Jaguar]

I think I've been asked once with DD how long I'll breastfeed her for. I guffawed and said "I'm still breastfeeding DS, so who knows?". DS is nearly 4.5
My other favourite way of owning the breastfeeding relationship is to put a quizzical look on my face and say "Well, s/he is ONLY x (enter months or years)", which puts it back on them about their own value judgment. Or else just say "Till s/he doesn't want to anymore".
FWIW, DS is only on one feed a day (morning), and more if he's sick.
Come back and tell us you've told someone "He's only 9 months old!"...
ETA: Sounds like you need some friends who are supportive and who understand your relationship with your son...been to your local ABA group meetings? They are the absolute bestest way to arm yourself with breastfeeding confidence...even when they're not there

[Persephone1]

*Sigh*
I met up with a friend and her 9-week-old bub today, we had lunch at a shopping centre. When her bub needed a feed, she left me and DS and took her DD to the Baby Change room. Fair enough, tis not my issue if she would prefer some privacy. Until she told me that her DH "didn't like" her feeding in public. She said that she would prefer to just do it anywhere, but her DH had said "you can't, you have to go somewhere private." Silly man. What sort of message is he sending to his DD? I hope my friend gains some confidence and starts feeling proud of it as time goes by.

On the upside, I then told her that last week, when out walking with DS in the pram, I stopped and fed him whilst sitting on the side of the walking track. Because, I told her, his hunger is insatiable, and won't wait for me to stop being embarrassed. Tis actually really nice being able to do it wherever and whenever the need arises - including alongside the Yarra River, as it were.

[helle]

What hope do you have if your own partner won't support you

[forshelby]

Maybe I look like the type of woman who you don't want to mess with? I am so confident, and comfortable breastfeeding, I think it really makes a difference in how people view you. Hold your head up high babe, you're doing such a fantastic job. :

You never were one to mess with! I love the way you keep it real (for lack of a better slang term).

I secretly dread the day I have to get my boobs out in front of DP's family or my friends...... Don't get me wrong, I like my boobs, I just know it'll take some getting used to having them there for a purpose rather than just to look all plump and nice. How did you get your head around it?? Or were you always just your fearless self, and whipping out a boob while simultaneously giving the finger to anyone who disapproved?

[raffy]

you go girl!!

[HotI]

I secretly dread the day I have to get my boobs out in front of DP's family or my friends...... Don't get me wrong, I like my boobs, I just know it'll take some getting used to having them there for a purpose rather than just to look all plump and nice. How did you get your head around it?? Or were you always just your fearless self, and whipping out a boob while simultaneously giving the finger to anyone who disapproved?

I feed bub whenever and whereever we are, but only get my boobs out when i'm at home. There are good BFing tops you can wear, or use layering and if you want to you can feed without exposing much, if any, of the breast.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

I feed bub whenever and whereever we are, but only get my boobs out when i'm at home. There are good BFing tops you can wear, or use layering and if you want to you can feed without exposing much, if any, of the breast.

Yep today she fed in the library and aside form my DD1 yelling "*insert her DD's name** is feeding mum" no-one would have noticed ohh and BTW Kate cute BFing top i use the belly belts sometimes if i have a top that has to be 'lifted' from the bottom, slide the belly belt up, covers my mumma tummy and no-one even notices

[forshelby]

Kate- Ahhh, slight of hand, eh? I guess all it takes is a little practise and some good one-handed manouvres. I've seen some of the bfing tops, I might have to get myself one. DP would sure be interested in the easy access.... he was very amused with my nursing bra.

I think I'm a bit weird about it because a) I've never done it and b) my sister used to get her boob right out in public and always made me think 'omg where do I look' LOL.

[peanutter]

I secretly dread the day I have to get my boobs out in front of DP's family or my friends...... Don't get me wrong, I like my boobs, I just know it'll take some getting used to having them there for a purpose rather than just to look all plump and nice. How did you get your head around it?? Or were you always just your fearless self, and whipping out a boob while simultaneously giving the finger to anyone who disapproved?

I know everyone is different, but for me, it was just a complete change of perception basically overnight, going from BBs being perky things which look nice in tops, and are the perfect accessory for every outfit (who said that? Christina Applegate??) to being something which I use to look after my baby.

I'm very surprised to have felt that comfortable that quickly, but after needing to feed him at church, in a cafe, in the shops, at work, etc, I just got over it very quickly, out of necessity. DS wasn't going to wait an hour until I'd finished and got home before being fed!!

They're just not sexual things for me anymore, when I'm out with DS. They're a very convenient and squoogy feeding recepticle. And if anyone else feels differently, that's kind of too bad.

I am selective in some ways - I have some friends (male and female) who are very uncomfotable about it, and who would never dream of saying anything, but to respect them (as they would respect me) I generally don't feed in front of them, if I'm not wearing something which allows me to be as discrete as I'd like. But if I was with them on a train or something, and DS was hungry, I'd just let them know I needed to feed him, and I'd do it. Because these aren't people giving me grief or sideways glances, they're people (mostly guys) who haven't been exposed to breastfeeding, and it's new to them and a total shift in perspective for them to be seeing boobs as something other than sexual fun bags.

So I'm discrete - but it's clear what I'm doing, and I've found that over the past few months, they're mostly aclimatising, and several of them can comfortably continue conversations etc while I'm breastfeeding. And can I just say - we're a very close knit bunch of friends, and so the above comments also include some ex boyfriends ... Ah, changing the world, one titty at a time ...

Most of my family and friends, however, feel (or have over the past 6 months got used to the fact!!) trhat breastfeeding is just part of life, and it's not sexual, and it's not rude, and it's about to happen so cope.

A bit of boob is normally visible, but people who aren't comfortable can look somewhere else, that's my view.