Demand feeding - how often?

[MummaSue]

Hey guys,

I demand feed my little one, and she is currently getting a feed every 1.5-2 hours. I kind of thought that by this age (almost 4 months) she'd be going a bit longer between feeds. I don't mind that she feeds this often at all but just wondered if this was normal?

We have kind of gotten into the feed/play/ sleep pattern but more like feed/play/small feed/sleep.

I know you can't really overfeed a breastfed baby but sometimes I feel like she's eating all the time!

Does this sound alright to everyone?

Goodness, I'm full of questions today - this is about my 4th post!!!!
I have days where I'm not feeling so confident that I am doing the right thing I guess.

Thanks for reading,
Sue x

[Taurean]

It's so confusing, isn't it hon! Your DD could probably stretch out her feeds a little bit but you are right, you can't over feed a breastfed bub. In saying that though, it is nice to have a bit of a break from having a baby constantly at your boobs so maybe try stretching it out a bit.

I was in a bit of a habit with my DD giving her a quick feed before I put her down for a nap. I honestly thought she really needed it but I finally realised around the 5.5 month mark that she didn't need it at all. I just put her down for a nap one day without giving her the quick feed and she slept! She'd really only used me to comfort suck before a sleep anyway so I thought it would be better for her to have a decent feed every few hours than snacking every couple of hours, if that makes sense. Once I'd broken our habit, I used 3 hours between feeds as my guide. Often she was asleep at the 3 hour mark so it was closer to 4 hours when she had the next feed anyway. It made things a lot easier and she was more than happy with 3-4 hours between feeds. Sometimes she'd be unsettled though and I'd offer her the breast a lot sooner. I guess I just got to know her a lot more and kind of knew when she really did need that extra feed.

Maybe try stretching out her feeds a bit or dropping the pre-nap feed and see how she goes.

Good luck!

[allycat06]

DS fed every 2 hours (day and night) until about 9 months...he was demand fed too. 9 months is when he really took to solids and the feeds starting dropping off a bit. He's now 14 months and has 3-4 a day and none overnight. I guess it just depends on the baby, some get hungrier quicker I guess. If she is showing the hungry signs then you aren't doing anything wrong by feeding her Breastfeeding sure is hard work but it'll pay off I'm sure. As long as you're happy to keep feeding her might as well go with the flow hey!

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

As Allycat said - if she looks hungry, it's not the wrong thing to feed her. Breastfeeding is great for a whole lot of things - puts babies to sleep (so feed play feed sleep works really well, cures boredom and more. Babies do feed 8-12 times in 24 hours - for a long time (most adults don't think about how many times per day that they put *stuff* in their mouths - but most of us would have 3 meals, 2 snacks, we are told to have 6-8 glasses of water per day, then there's the piece of fruit you grab, or a biscuit, and don't forget the tea and coffee, so when you think about it, breastmilk is ALL a baby has, so 8-12 times isn't really that unreasonable) but what you find overtime is that babies have a longer sleep at some point - hopefully in the night, and then they need to feed more at other times.
On the topic of feed-play- sleep - it keeps us mums busy for a couple of months, but I'm pretty sure babies have never heard of it. It can work well for some - but not others - and it's so easy to get it all out of whack! Breastfeeding is a perfectly valid way of getting babies to sleep - and relaxing for mum as well

[MantaRay]

I totally agree with the other posts. My boys both put themselves in a feed, play, feed, sleep pattern - I think it is very normal. And certainly the frequent feeding at that age is too. It does settle down hun - I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will look back fondly on the days of lots of cuddly feeds.

[MummaSue]

Thanks for your input guys, sounds like we're doing ok.

I just worry that at night she is using me for comfort more than anything else. I feed her, she stops sucking as if she has fallen asleep, I pull her off the breast and she roots around again - we do this for quite some time some nights! Kind of driving me insane being a dummy! I don't mind if she's feeding but I ain't no dummy! Little rascal!

Thanks again
Sue xx

[Jennifer13]

Sue, she knows what makes her feel good in the night, and that's having Mummy and her breasts right where she can feel them. It shows that she is coming to you for comfort and reassurance. As Barb says, it's about more than just feeding. Do you co-sleep? If you don't, but you feel like you're having a rotten time early in the morning because you aren't getting enough sleep, it might be worth trying a spot of co-sleeping around that time, to give you more rest.

This worked for my DD and I. She would sleep most of the night in her own cradle/cot/bed, but came in with us at some stage during the morning (anywhere from after 2am to after 5am) and gave us all a lot more sleep! She still does it, only now I don't even notice (since the bbs aren't involved!).

[Taurean]

I don't mind that she feeds this often at all but just wondered if this was normal?

Hon, this is the most important thing you said - YOU don't mind and that is the best thing. Follow your instincts on this one.

I should have reiterated that I didn't change our feed-play-feed-sleep routine until DD was 5.5 months old. She was getting more restless at the breast and I noticed that the quick feed before the sleep really wasn't necessary or helping either of us. You will be able to read your DD more each day and you will know when the time is right to change things.

[Roryrory]

She sounds like a normal bubba to me

There are issues around giving BF babies dummies (ie: it can cause nipple confusion) so I would defer to Barb or a lactation consultant on this one, but both my boys had dummies from an early age (Flynn was about 3 weeks old and Ollie was a day old LOL!) and neither had any feeding problems. So perhaps if you feel you are being used as a dummy and it doesn't work for you perhaps you could seek some help from the Australian BF Association about how to deal with her suckling.

As for feed-play-sleep, neither of my boys followed that pattern. I think like others have said, babies haven't read the manual

[MummaSue]

Thanks guys. We co-sleep all night, she has a cot next to our bed and she does go in there at the start of the night for her first sleep usually but I miss her in our bed!! We're doing a slow transition to the cot.... that is a whole other thread!!

Ugh, there is just so much conflicting advice everywhere hey? But I am happy with the support here - everyone encouraging me to go with my instincts, so my instincts it is!!

Thanks again
Sue xxx

[Snowy Love]

Sounds like a good plan Sue. My bub has started doing this too, but he re-settles with a feed or just gives a cry and stays asleep now. Good Luck tonight

[Roryrory]

Ugh, there is just so much conflicting advice everywhere hey? But I am happy with the support here - everyone encouraging me to go with my instincts, so my instincts it is!!

Someone said to me that advice on babies is like food in a supermarket - there are lots of options and lots of combinations - but this makes it a good place to shop - and while others might choose to put different things in their trolley it doesn't make your choices any less valid

[sloane]

i agree with all the previous posters! but i also wanted to say that you may find that the frequency of feeds may change over time & change back again. because bfing is so much more than just food, you may find that she drops feeds only to pick them back up again when going through a developmental change, growth spurt of when she's teething

like allycat, my DS probably fed every 2 hours around the clock until he was about 9 months & then just slowly dropped. he now has 4 a day but still also wakes frequently overnight - but how frequently changes as well.

[MummaSue]

Yeah, it's funny, some nights she can have 2 feeds overnight, other nights she can have more than 4. Some days she eats all day, others she doesn't eat much in the morning and then we're on the couch all afternoon!
I'm actually wondering if there is some teething going on - she was showing all of the signs the other day and has been a bit more grizzly the past couple of days - pulling her ears, drooling, has a red rash round her chin and cheeks at times, chewing her fists..... I had a wee feel of her gums but there doesn't seem to be anything..... I guess it doesn't mean that nothing is happening though.

Ah the joys of motherhood! Guessing ALL the time because poor bubby can't tell me what's going on!

Sue x

[kungfubecca]

your the mum of your bub and you know best. this is just my experiences so far

dd is a feed, change, play, change cuddle sleep, bub. as my second i generally don't feed to sleep and try to put her down before she really goes to sleep, but rules are made to be broken and I am flexible.

DS is 3 now, and was feed, play etc feed sleep, always fell asleep while feeding. now he is obsessed with skin to skin contact, when he is tired he reaches for anyone's tummy to touch. even when I put him to bed he has to touch some part of my skin while I read to him, we are down to an ankle or hand, and for me this is a win, but we are not quite there yet.

both my cildren are allowed dummies for sleep (have experienced no nipple confusion) ds will be gone within the next 12 months fingers crossed, and I do try to put dd down without hers, but it helps me wit the comfort sucking