Gen Y Embarrased to Breastfeed

[Shanti]

I think I'm Gen X? (1981)
I enjoy breastfeeding in public because it's NORMAL and setting a good example to society and helping other women to realise, hopefully that they too can do the same!

At first, I hid away in parents rooms but only because the attachment we had was very difficult the first 3mths we had alot of feeding problems and were doing bottles also BUT mainly due to my big tummy with stretchmarks all over it, which I felt VERY conscious about and still do..... (but am doing something about that now! )

But once DD was about 3-4mths old.... I started feeding anywhere!!!!!! I even fed her on a plane when she was just 8wks old

I don't cover up either.... I just do it discreetly for my privacy more than anything!!
If someone had a problem with it, they'd be picking on the wrong person if they chose me hehe

It's NORMAL! And we're still feeding at 1yr of age so I look forward to continuing feeding DD in public and not feeling I have to hide away just because society feels feeding a baby past 1yr is not normal..... it is normal!

I remember hiding away in the bedroom at our house when DD was just 2wks old and family came over but I look back and realise now that it was just all new to me and DD and we had feeding probs which didnt help all that. I think even if we didnt have problems at the beginning I still would have used the parents rooms alot initially just until we got used to feeding and correct positioning etc...... most mum's feel this way too I'm pretty sure. It's a learnt skill.

[briggsy's girl]

i'm with shanti - at the tail end of gen x i think. i too feed anywhere and everywhere! i have boob tube things that cover my tum, and we feed discreetly. half the time people don't realise i'm feeding til they're literally right there!

i think some of the problem for gen y - especially the younger end of gen y - is that everything about everything is so sexualised! nothing is seen as something simple, it has to have sexual context to it. and it rubs off! you start to feel embarrassed about it - especially if you're not a strong person

i'll admit the thought of BF in public terrified me to start with. i am a bigger busted chicky, and we had some attachment issues. when i first came home from hospital, half our feeds were laying down in bed as it was more comfy - and obviously i couldn't do that at the shops! but, we need to eat, and there is no way we could NOT shop - or not feed while shopping as it's a fair trip there and back from here. so, when DD was about 3 weeks old, she got ratty at the shops, i went and sat out the front of bigw while DH paid, and we had a feed. since then, i've been confident enough to feed anywhere.

there has only ever been one person that just made me feel uncomfortable feeding - he just had a vibe, and i couldn't feed near him. he wasn't leering or anything, didn't say a word, but i just got a bad feeling and simply didn't want to feed near him.

i think the more society normalises breast feeding, the less embarrassment there will be. when we're home, i will lay on the bed or on the floor on hot days and DD can come and go as she pleases - so yeah, i have boobs out a bit - but she knows the difference. if she messes about and won't feed properly in public, it goes away for a while and then is offered again once she is more settled and not so sticky-beakish!

in 8 months i've only heard one comment - and that was when i was in a takeaway food place, sitting in a corner feeding DD at 3 months - a lady walked past to go to the loo, then went back to her partner and got their food - when they went to sit down, she suggested they sit at a different table to where he wanted, as "there are heaps of free tables, the lady is feeding, be nice and give her some privacy" - apart from that, nothing!

i really don't think people comment (or even notice) as often as i thought they would before i started feeding!

[Jellyfish]

Just wanted to say that it IS okay to be nervous about public feeding -- I find public speaking makes me nervous, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with public speaking and it is the same for this. If your partner (or anyone reading this) wants to use a blanket or two tops or any other method then DO IT and don't feel ashamed. The important thing is that YOU (the breastfeeding mother) feel comfortable -- not the people watching or judging as they pass, not any other breastfeeding mothers who might feel like you are reinforcing negative connotations -- just focus on you and your baby!!

[spenceee]

Just wanted to say that it IS okay to be nervous about public feeding -- I find public speaking makes me nervous, doesn't mean there is anything wrong with public speaking and it is the same for this. If your partner (or anyone reading this) wants to use a blanket or two tops or any other method then DO IT and don't feel ashamed. The important thing is that YOU (the breastfeeding mother) feel comfortable -- not the people watching or judging as they pass, not any other breastfeeding mothers who might feel like you are reinforcing negative connotations -- just focus on you and your baby!!

Thats what I'm talkin bout willis... regardless of what should be the norm for society with regards to BF (i believe that nobody should bat an eyelid, but they do, so this is why the Y feels embarrased). The focus should be on getting baby mother's milk if available.

Thanks to all for posting

[stacey83]

I breastfed my son for 10 1/2 months, in which im proud of it is the best thing for them, Im sorry to all that i offend, but im very against women who give up too quickly and dont breastfeed. Do u know that breastmilk is just so yummy for your bubba!!

And i also loved the benefits i got from bf'ing, the closeness and the natural endorphin release.

i got pressured to stop, not from any of my family, but my partners. He was happy that it saved us so much money, but i dont think he liked that bond i had with ds, he was jealous i know it and kept saying to me around when kai was 6months old.. "shouldnt you stop now"?


And my time during bf'ing... i had a few perv's in public, as i think of myself as an attractive girl in my early 20's... and men perv and like to look at any female that looks good

It bothered me on some occasions, then on others i really didnt care!!


One opinion i have on my generation- is that girls are too worried about how their boobs are gonna end up looking like afterwards... which they do end up sagging a bit after.. but i think the benefits for the mother and baby are way too important to just not breastfeed for the sake of BEAUTY!

So im all for breastfeeding for at least 6-12months... and i think its sad for the women who give up too soon.

[Rosie's Mum]

If you still want a bit of advice about making your wife feel less exposed here's mine-

I loved breasfeeding but I am not okay with doing it in public (my weirdness, I hate wearing swimmers at the beach too) I could always find clean, comfortable parents rooms at shopping centres or airports etc. The only time I couldn't find somewhere was on planes and buses, I never wore breastfeeding clothes, I usually wear t-shirts so I just lifted enough to feed from underneath, baby's face was covered with the t-shirt and the only thing you could ever see was the side of my tummy.

It's okay to feel weird about breastfeeding in public because you are a bit naked just don't let baby go hungry!

[sunshine_sieben]

Neenee Jellybeanie, Actually, within 4 weeks of giving birth to DD I was lighter than before pregnancy. 1 1/2 years later I had lost 10kg without a diet. So definitely thumbs up for BFing from that perspective.
Unfortunately I then fell pregnant with DS and it hasn't worked that way this time.

When DD was 1 1/2, I flew to Germany via Dubai. I had a lovely woman from Oman sitting next to me. She was all covered up and had a 3 month old baby with her. When my daughter wanted a feed, I felt a little conscious of possibly offending this woman or making her feel uncomfortable. So I said to her that I need to feed my child and that I hope she won't be offended. She just looked at me puzzled and said: Why should I be offended? She proceeded to tell me how women in Oman BF their children for much longer than in Australia. 2 years is the norm. BFing is seen as normal. Of course they would not expose any skin while they are doing it they feed under their clothes), but she thought nothing of seeing a little of my skin. It was such a positive experience and we ended up really bonding. We chatted for hours. I then noticed other women who all of a sudden pulled babies out from under their coats.

[Taurean]

Spenceee - just some more advice for you and your DW

I had all sorts of issues with breastfeeding (flat nipples, poor attachment, low supply, thrush - the list goes on!) so the first 8 weeks of breastfeeding were hell for me. I wasn't embarassed about breastfeeding in public, I just found it extremely hard due to all our issues. The attachment issue was one of the hardest as I had to help DD get on the breast and constantly had to help her reattach. In the early days, DD took a good hour or so to feed so unless I was happy to settle in for the long haul, feeding in public was a right PITA. I often, and still do, take a bottle as she downs that in no time at all and it means I don't spend half of our outing feeding her!

In saying all that, I did breastfeed in public and do it all the time now. I have a good selection of Bonds breastfeeding tops and they have been fabulous. I love them! I also have a breastfeeding shawl that my SIL bought for me. I'm not embarassed to breastfeed but I'm not a big fan of flashing too much skin when I'm at the shops or a restaurant and my shawl helps with this and it also means I can wear clothes from my normal wardrobe. Google 'bebe au lait' and look at the nursing covers if you're interested in the shawls. They are also great for keeping bubs focussed on feeding when they get to the 'nosey' stage (at about 4 months).

I tried using a muslin once and it was more hassle than it's worth IMO. I ended up just sitting in a corner at the cafe with my back to everyone else and by breasts facing my family. Much easier.

I hope that helps.