Have you had to deal with negatives comments/attitudes about BFing?
Just curious to know if there are any other BFders out there who have been made to feel ashamed or guilty about BFding or who have had to deal with negative comments/attitudes?
Just some examples of what I've dealt with...
*"BFing is disgusting" - a comment made by my good friend
*"Are you STILL BFing?!" - I've copped this one heaps, by ALOT of people! My baby is 9.5 months old FFS!
*The whole 'BFing in public' debacle.
*"I don't know why you BF, FF is so much easier and makes them sleep better" - another good friend's comment.
*"you're not going to be one of those people who BFeed your toddler are you?!" - a comment made by my hairdresser.
*"BFders think they are superior over FFders" - a careless comment by an obviously uneducated and immature person.
And MANY MANY more!
I know alot of FFders that feel guilty about what they feed there babies but I just wanted to point out that sometimes BFders are made to feel guilty too. Sometimes I feel like people think i am dirty for feeding my baby!
I am PROUD of my BFding efforts because I know that I have made the best decision for my baby.. However, if I couldn't BF and had to use formula, I'd be proud of that decision too, as THAT would be the best for my baby at that time. I would NEVER put my own convenience over that of the best choice of food for my baby, and for that I am proud. For all of you that have done what was 'best' for you and your baby, be proud! Don't feel guilty or ashamed!
Definitely! But mainly from people whose opinion I couldn't care less about. A few girlfriends made some comments along the lines of "ew gross, how long do you have to do that for?" when DS was born but they are all childless and in their mid 20's so I wouldn't expect them to know any better. TBH had I not had a child so young I'd probably be thinking the same thing.
But mostly the comments have all been positive and often the nicest ones come from perfect strangers.
i feel that i've been really lucky because i haven't really had any negative comments at all. my mum did comment that once DS had teeth i might stop (when he was about 2 months old) but hasn't said anything since (and he well & truly has teeth now!). a couple of people have assumed i've stopped but didn't really show any surprise when i said i hadn't. i think i'm lucky too because my MG has been supportive - one just stopped & another 2 or 3 are still going as well.
Don't worry - it all dies down about 2 yrs of age they just assume you are not feeding! Surprisingly, I have had few negative comments over the years - I probably had that *look* on my face. As my family weren't much into breastfeeding I made sure I hung out with like-minded people - the Australian Breastfeeding Association was great for that
No one ever really commented negatively to me but like Barb I think I give off that 'vibe' to not mess with me lol The only people who kind of get negative about it is when I express sadness at having stopped feeding Ds3 at 11mths. Dh thinks feeding toddlers is weird and was not a fan and my mother thinks 12mths is the cut off age so she tells me 11mths was more than enough. I dont know what Im going to do with this baby because I plan on breastfeeding him or her to atleast 18mths if not longer.
The only ones I had were surprisingly from my sister who made the "he is walking now you know you don't need to feed him anymore" (He walked at 11 mths ) With her I mainly ignored and tried to educate somewhat by sending her links to the benefits of extended b'fing etc. Not sure it made any difference and as much as I love her dearly and we get along super well, I really didn't care and we agreed to disagree. Her kids are 18 and 15 and she made many choices I wouldn't make, and vice versa and I think we have come to a place of mutual respect.
A cousin of mine said that extended breastfeeding is bordering on paedophilic when my daughter was 15 months old (still feeding now at 18 months old). I went home and cried and cried and cried; I love and respect my cousin so it was very painful for her to share that opinion. She is in her early 20s (as am I) with no children yet so I tried to just shrug it off and simply responded that the WHO recommends at least 2yrs before changing the subject. I'll admit it has made me wary of discussing our continuation for fear of similar reactions.. but I'm trying to be open about it as much as possible, I want my family and friends (especially those who haven't yet been through the parenting journey or have misunderstandings in regards to infant feeding) to see it as normal, gain more information than is offered through mainstream channels and know that they can come to me if they ever need support.
That being said, I have received more positive comments than anything.
I get "are you STILL bfing??" have been copping that since DS was 6 months old, now Its more, "so when are you weaning him?" I Just say, well he drinks from a cup and eats with a fork....
I know now not to complain about ANYTHING to do with BFing to my Mum, as much as she loves me and I her, the comments she makes are not helpful, "well just wean him them,....maybe its time you stopped.....how long exactly are you going to do that??" She Bf my youngest brother for 18 months but says as soon as AF came back she stopped, mine came back at 6 weeks, and she was like "whats the point then?"
I have had "friends" on FB (from my MG) who have made comments about the pro BFing articles I like to post occasionaly, I dont reply, I know its their own guilt theyre working through, Tbh, If BfING hadnt worked so easily for me I would probably be feeling guilty as all get out if I had to give it up.
My SIL always comments about how her DD alway slept through the night as she was FF, I just ignore her now, nothing I say is going to change how she feels.
I like to tell people that when DS is at school, I will go to the gate and flop my boo through the fence for him, just to get a reaction! :P
ladies, it horrible that people can make comments like the ones you've mentioned, when BF is such a natural thing. I think it just shows how warped our modern society is. When something that is so innate can be condemned or looked down upon you can't help but wonder what has happened to humanity.
I tend to think that the underlying reason a lot of people are uncomfortable with BF'ing is because is makes them realise how much humans are like other animals and that when it comes down to it we're really not all that superior. Like cows, dogs, cats etc our offspring suckle and are nourished by their mothers milk. I think that is beautiful and humbling, but unfortunately I think it makes some people uncomfortable...
Anyway, I am lucky in that I don't think I have ever had anybody in my day to day life be negative towards me still BF'ing my DS. Yes, friends who don't have children do ask if I'm still feeding and when I think I'll stop, but generally I think that is out of genuine interest and that they want to understand my decision to continue on so that when their time comes they're better informed.
I've had the mil always try to 'cover me up' while I'm trying to feed. When at the shops I always leave the door wide open in the parents room so I can keep an eye on the pram, she always has to try shut it on me. And when feeding at MY house and they are over, she tells me that its best to go sit in dd.s room to do it and every body should stay out.
I flop them out in her lounge room now, and I always make sure they get that airing time after the feed
I have this great thing where I've always said I'd breastfeed until they get teeth. People seem to have teeth as a reason you should stop.
And mine have conveniently sprouted teeth about 10 minutes after they are weaned - 9 and 14 months for the first two, we'll see what happens with Lump here. I hope to do the same again with him as with DD#2 (I went back to work with DD#1 as well as being very underweight so I weaned her onto formula), which was going gradually from boob to solids/sippy cup without needing to mess with breast pumps or bottles of any kind. Definitely the best way to go - did I mention I was lazy?
The weight loss is the worst thing about breastfeeding though. You wouldn't believe how much I need to eat just to keep my weight loss at 1kg a month - there's no way in hell I want to lose 27kg in 6 months again.
It took me a LONG time to feel confident enough to BF DS in public, as in not in a parent room or hidden away in our car. But I have never had a negative comment, and I never noticed any looks as I always kept my eyes on DS to make sure he wasn't playing around lol.
i totally let out a vibe to not mess with me lol! i get alot of looks whenever i have BF my kids in really public places (like too cool for school cafes etc). but i can stare down the best of them lol!
the only comments that really got to me were the ones about when i would stop. it seemed that the moment DD1 hit that 9 month mark there was a switch that meant that she couldnt have breastmilk anymore. very weird.
Have you had to deal with negatives comments/attitudes about BFing?
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) With her I mainly ignored and tried to educate somewhat by sending her links to the benefits of extended b'fing etc. Not sure it made any difference and as much as I love her dearly and we get along super well, I really didn't care and we agreed to disagree. Her kids are 18 and 15 and she made many choices I wouldn't make, and vice versa and I think we have come to a place of mutual respect.
ladies, it horrible that people can make comments like the ones you've mentioned, when BF is such a natural thing. I think it just shows how warped our modern society is. When something that is so innate can be condemned or looked down upon you can't help but wonder what has happened to humanity. 
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